- 5 months ago
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00:00Mummy, can you not do that?
00:07Johannes has picked me up. He's going to pop in and meet the kids.
00:10I'll get it.
00:10No, mummy, wait. Mum, what do you...
00:12How's it? You must be Amanda's sister.
00:17Easy mistake. Mother.
00:19Thanks, mummy.
00:20Hi.
00:22Um, I'm nervous.
00:24It's ridiculous. I don't know why I'm so nervous.
00:27Don't be.
00:27I've met loads of my girlfriend's kids.
00:30The trick is not to make a big thing of her.
00:34Hey, guys.
00:37Manus, Georgina, um, this is...
00:40We know. He's our new dad.
00:43What are you talking about, Manus? No.
00:46No one is replacing your dad.
00:48Janus is absolutely not here to replace...
00:50It was a joke.
00:55Yes, it was.
00:57That was very, very funny.
00:59It was very, very good.
01:01I love that. I love it. It's so good.
01:04Do you guys like £20 notes?
01:06Yeah.
01:09Sick.
01:09Ooh.
01:10It couldn't have gone any better, frankly. It was very organic. No one made a big thing of it. Just, yeah, absolute success story.
01:24So when are we going to meet this new squeeze?
01:26Oh.
01:27Must be getting serious if you're introducing him to the children.
01:29Well, you know, he's a special part of my life now, and you kind of know after three months, right, P?
01:37Don't ask me. I've got terrible boundaries. I proposed to Della on our second day.
01:41Oh, wow.
01:42Chris proposed to me on my 18th birthday, and later on that night we took each other's virginity, and then we made love in each one of my friend's parents' double beds.
01:51Just devouring each other's bodies. But not like now. I can't even remember the last time Chris and I even brushed hands.
01:58What's in the bag, Anne?
02:02Oh, er, Fatima's mum lent me a tent for camping this weekend, yeah. There's still space if you want to join. I mean, everyone else is coming.
02:08No, Anne, Anne, I'm still a maybe.
02:09No, you're not. You're taking this weekend off.
02:11No, thank you. Only time I'm sitting put in a tent is if it's a marquee, and it's an ascot, and there's pins.
02:17What about a first aid tent?
02:19Well, of course I go in a first aid tent.
02:20A gazebo? Would you go in a gazebo?
02:22Yes, I would go in a gazebo.
02:24What about if you got murdered and they put a tent over the crime scene?
02:27Don't you have a whistle to blow or something?
02:29You got our deposit, right, Anne?
02:31Yes.
02:31Yes. Me, Ned, Abs, baby Isla, and our main man here. I bet you're a dab hand at camping, Mal, being a gardener.
02:40Me? No. Only time I've camped is one glass, though, with Abs. Spent most of it behind a falafel stand in a K-hole.
02:47Tell me about it. I got stuck in a K-hole this weekend. Ate the whole thing.
02:51I am pretty hormonal, though.
02:54I'm not kicking that.
02:59Is that your new boyfriend, Amanda?
03:00Yeah.
03:01Can I meet him?
03:02No, please. Just quickly.
03:04Hi.
03:05Hey, you.
03:07Oh, hi.
03:09Wow. Have you been checking my browsing history? Because sexy soccer mum is one of my go-tees.
03:15You must be Amanda's piece of hot stuff.
03:17You can call me your highness.
03:19Okay. Yeah. Wow. It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness. Yeah.
03:25Yeah, Anne. No wonder you kept this on the down low. Dating African royalty.
03:29It's Johannes.
03:30Johannes.
03:31Johannes.
03:31Oh, Johannes. Yeah. Okay. Apologies, your grace. My name is Anne, aka the BFF, from BITD. Back in the day.
03:41That's quite an impressive package you're holding there, Anne.
03:44Oh, it's a tent. Yeah, there's a big gang of us going camping over the weekend.
03:47Oh, camping. I love camping. My Oma used to have a farm back in Michalisburg. We would camp there every summer.
03:54Oh.
03:55I would love a night on the canvas. What do you say, Amanda?
03:58Oh, well, you're flogging a dead horse there because Amanda hates camping.
04:02Interesting my words a bit there, Anne. I just find tents uncomfy because I have very long legs and back.
04:07Fine, then. I'll get a camper van for you and the kids, all the mod cons. It'll be like a hotel room on a campsite. You'll love it.
04:13Yay. Can't wait. It's got to be so much fun, Your Highness. Yeah. Thanks, Anne.
04:22All right, wait a hand down a bit. That's good. That's good. That's good.
04:25This is so unfair. Why can't I stay here with the gangan?
04:29Gangan's moving back home. I'm not.
04:31You are, Mum, we talked about this.
04:32Well, my new sauna's got a leak, and so they've turned off the water until Thursday.
04:36You don't need water, Mum. You entirely exist on sherry and talcum powder.
04:39So lame.
04:40Georgie, please don't be difficult.
04:42Why can't we go to Florida or something? I really don't want to see Darius.
04:47Come on. We're going to have a nice family holiday with our new dad, Johannes.
04:53I hate you for making me go.
04:56Hey, where are your bags?
04:58Ah, when you're a seasoned outdoorsman like I am, you learn to travel as light as possible.
05:04It's me a dish.
05:06How clever that he can fit all his belongings into his pockets.
05:09This isn't the camper I ordered.
05:10Yes, I swapped it. This will look way better on the socials.
05:15Right, okay.
05:16I had an ex who had one of these.
05:18Carlos.
05:19We used to drive it back from Spain every summer, with three pounds of hashish stuffed into the seats.
05:26Good times.
05:27Manus, darling, let's go.
05:28Hi, I'm Johannes.
05:31You must be the guy who lives in the basement.
05:32Yeah.
05:33I'm envious already.
05:34The only guy who should be underneath my girlfriend is me.
05:40You all right? Mel. Okay. Fist bumps, yeah.
05:43Amanda said it's okay if I catch a lift with you guys down to the campsite.
05:46Sure, sure.
05:47Anything to keep my chick happy.
05:48Oh, sorry about that, mate.
05:52There you go.
05:58I'll drive, baby.
06:01Okay.
06:02Right, seatbelt on.
06:03Seatbelt on, everybody.
06:04Oh, no.
06:09We're right on top of the toilets.
06:11How are you?
06:12You found us all right?
06:13Are you serious, Anne?
06:15Huh?
06:15I'm basically camping on a septic tank.
06:18Oh, yeah, sorry, Amanda.
06:19I would have been here earlier to get a better spot, but my roof box exploded on the M3.
06:23Right, I'm going to need you to move your tent over there because I need this for you behind me for my Insta shots.
06:27Just pop yourself over there.
06:29Yeah, yeah.
06:30Yeah, okay.
06:31Yeah, Darius, come on.
06:32You heard the woman.
06:32Let's move the tent.
06:33Why?
06:34You go around the other side.
06:35Go on.
06:38Where's Abs and the Babs?
06:40Isla has a temperature, so Abs thought it best to stay at home.
06:43So it's just the three of us.
06:45Lads on tour.
06:46Woo.
06:47Hi, look at this.
06:49Someone knows what they're doing.
06:51What do you Brits say, full kit wanker?
06:53That's me.
06:53All the gear, no idea.
06:55Hey, Amanda, I really like this guy.
06:58Yeah, that's a...
07:01Help.
07:03Come on, Anne.
07:04Chop, chop.
07:04Johannes.
07:05Oh, JJ.
07:06Thanks.
07:06Nice to meet you.
07:07You too.
07:08Now it's just me.
07:08It's a bit overkill.
07:09No, it's great.
07:11There's plenty of room in my tent if you want to bunk up with me.
07:13No, we'll be fine in here, mate.
07:15It's actually more spacious than it seems.
07:17Yeah.
07:18Johanna's?
07:23Baby?
07:24Where's the loo in this thing?
07:25I don't think the older models have toilets.
07:28The one I ordered had a toilet, but you swapped it.
07:30What?
07:31But I thought that was the whole point of a camper van.
07:33I don't do public toilets.
07:35Heidi, hi, campers.
07:38Sorry we're late.
07:39Hey, that's convenient, isn't it?
07:40Right next to the box.
07:41I'll just go over here, shall I?
07:42I mean, I brought a tent.
07:44Oh, I bought it last night on the internet.
07:45It's in one of these boxes somewhere.
07:47God, I need a sit down.
07:48I'm putting miles from the car park.
07:49Where's that chair?
07:52Oh, bingo.
07:54Mand, can I plug into your camper thingy?
07:56Sorry, Fee, this is actually for my ring light.
07:59Oh, just bosh it over, will you?
08:01Morton?
08:01Yeah?
08:02Find them pre-mixed cocktails.
08:03It's much better to build a tent after.
08:05Um, oh, I found them.
08:07Great.
08:07Do you want one?
08:08Oh, yes, please.
08:09Thanks, baby.
08:11Morton, could you try and coax Georgie out of the van, please?
08:15She's trying to avoid Darius or something.
08:17Hiya.
08:18Is Della coming?
08:19Yeah, she's going to join us later.
08:21Great.
08:22So if one of the freezers at work packed up,
08:24so she's going to get a taxi after service tonight.
08:29It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
08:31I've got Prime, I'll order another one for tomorrow.
08:33Just got to find my...
08:34Not a real bang.
08:36I wasn't scared.
08:37Bryce, I'm off to find a tap.
08:39Oh, Jesus.
08:54Anyone want a glug from my bladder?
08:56No, Anne.
08:57I'm going to have to drastically reduce my liquid intake
08:59in light of this no-toilet situation.
09:01But there's a toilet literally there.
09:04I do not use public toilets, Anne.
09:05Can you move you and your bladder out of my shot?
09:08Yep.
09:08All right.
09:09Who passes a kicker bat?
09:12Anyone?
09:15Hey, JJ.
09:16Want to take a look at my bowie knife?
09:19Oh, shit.
09:20Bowie, all right?
09:21That's a big one.
09:21I'm pretty sure they're illegal now.
09:24What, this little thing?
09:25Nah.
09:25I was gutting gazelles with this when I was like eight.
09:29So heavy.
09:30All right, well, I'm going to go and find some firewood then.
09:32Ah, firewood time.
09:34Right.
09:35Let's make this a little more interesting.
09:38The man who comes back with the biggest log wins 20 quid.
09:41Bit sexist.
09:43Don't you want to include the girls?
09:45Oh, sorry.
09:46Would any of the chicks like to come and collect some firewood?
09:51I rest my case.
09:53Boys, to the woods.
09:55Stay.
09:56Get out of my way.
09:57I saw good cops over there with a fallen tree.
10:00Isn't he the best?
10:03Okay, who's got the biggest log?
10:05Ah, come on, Mal.
10:06You can do better than that.
10:08Look at JJ.
10:09Yeah, I'm just going to collect some kindling to start the firewood.
10:11Mal knows he's not going to win.
10:13Your size isn't everything, mate.
10:14Throw telling that to your girlfriend, Twiggy.
10:17You all right, JJ?
10:19Yeah, sorry, mate.
10:26My craziest time on safari in South Africa was probably swimming with a hippo.
10:31They're so deadly, but I like that about them.
10:33Sexy, isn't he?
10:34They have a real big, big energy.
10:36I am not the person to ask about that.
10:38I'm thinking of doing a hike tomorrow.
10:39Anyone want to join me?
10:40There's some standing stones about four miles away.
10:43Right, let's do it.
10:45I think I'm going to hit the hey, big man.
10:47Do you mind if I sleep in JJ's tent now?
10:49There might be a bit more room, you know what I mean?
10:51Yeah, no, of course.
10:53Okay, boys, on your feet.
10:55Time for one last duty of the night.
10:57All the males are to piss around the perimeter of the campsite.
11:01What?
11:01Are you in us?
11:02No.
11:03As we'll stop the foxes from ripping up the trash bags because they hate the smell of male piss.
11:07And before any feminists complain, it's biology.
11:10I'm sorry.
11:11This is not cool, guys.
11:13Yeah, we could just throw our rubbish in the big bins over there.
11:16That'll stop the foxes too.
11:17A wild piss is one of life's little pleasures, Twiggy.
11:20Can we stop talking about pee?
11:22Yeah, and please don't call me Twiggy.
11:24Ah, it's only a bit of fun, Twiggy.
11:27Can you keep it down, please?
11:29Some of us are trying to sleep.
11:30It's 8.15.
11:31Sorry.
11:32Yeah.
11:33I'm out of here.
11:35See you in the morning.
11:35Yeah, yeah.
11:49Look, Diego, just move everything you can to the other freezer and I'll call the refrigeration
11:53company in the morning, all right?
11:54Good night.
11:57Great, you made it.
11:59Why does it smell like a Vauxhall piss club out there?
12:02Delivery for the breakfast club.
12:06Yeah, great.
12:07Great bacon rolls, yeah?
12:08No, you're not meant to have fruit in the freezer.
12:10Thanks, mate.
12:11Thanks.
12:12Dale, it's Morten.
12:13Bacon sannies are here.
12:15God, you know, I thought that camping would be tough, but it's actually really fun, isn't
12:19it?
12:20Morten!
12:21Yeah, no, you've got to use the car.
12:23Right, I'm off for a shower.
12:25Help yourself to my bladder.
12:26Oh, my God.
12:32Sorry, you're on the tower.
12:38Holy moly, God.
12:44Okay, boys.
12:45Six kilometre height to the Standing Stones.
12:48JJ, you can bring up the rear.
12:49The little kids can go in the middle and I'll lead from the front.
12:52Um, actually, I'll, um, I'll lead if that's okay.
12:55Ah, okay.
12:57Somebody wants to be the head of the Pride.
12:59Can you read a map?
13:00I've got my phone, mate.
13:02It's the 21st century.
13:03It's not really in the spirit of orienteering, mate.
13:05Who cares as long as we get there?
13:07Let's roll.
13:08Bye, guys.
13:10Have the best time.
13:12Right, follow this path, fellas.
13:14See you later, my lady.
13:16Isn't he great?
13:17So, our dilemma was, do we try and cross the piranha-infested river?
13:28Oh, that doesn't sound good.
13:28Or do we walk back the same track where we saw the fucking crocodile?
13:33No.
13:34Okay, we can go right just around here.
13:38Um, Ned, mate, you got your phone on you?
13:40No.
13:40Uh, Johanna said leave it behind because what goes on tour stays on tour.
13:44Oh, shit.
13:46I'll just get your gopher.
13:49Bye, thanks.
13:51Georgie, come here.
13:54Come on.
13:55Come over here.
13:57Darling, what is going on?
13:58I just want to start a nice time and you're making it really remarkably unfun.
14:02I'm literally on holiday with my ex and you're rubbing it in my face with your new boyfriend.
14:07Well, newsflash, Georgie.
14:08I'm not having the best time either.
14:10I haven't urinated for 26 hours and I have a borderline UTI.
14:15So I would really appreciate it if you would just stop moaning for 15 minutes
14:20and try and smash a ball up a windmill.
14:25Cheers.
14:25Right, who's next?
14:30Could I run those, please?
14:31Yeah.
14:32Sure.
14:37Uh, sorry, can we just have two of those, please?
14:39Sure.
14:39There you are.
14:45That's the stunt we passed before.
14:47Whoa, whoa, whoa.
14:48Are we lost, Twiggy?
14:49No, it's fine.
14:50I think if we just keep heading up this track here.
14:51Okay, everybody stop.
14:53JJ, hand me the map.
14:55I know where we are.
14:56Well, you obviously don't because we keep doing loop-de-loops.
15:00Show me where you think we are on your phone.
15:03Yeah, well, I...
15:04I can't because the battery's...
15:07Uh...
15:08Twiggy!
15:13That is too funny!
15:15Oh my God!
15:16You've got to be kidding me.
15:17Why don't you say anything, Dad?
15:18It's okay, it's fine.
15:19It's fine.
15:19I'll lead.
15:21It's this way.
15:22Onwards!
15:23Yeah, you lot carry on ahead.
15:27I'm going to go back to the campsite.
15:29Okay, Twiggy!
15:31Don't get lost!
15:3335.
15:3436.
15:3837.
15:3937.
15:46Don't look at him.
15:47Just concentrate.
15:5038.
15:51Yeah, I just sent you a video on how to reset the thermostat, Diego.
15:54Della!
15:55Della, are you playing or what?
15:57I'll call you back, okay?
15:58Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:01Incamping, lush.
16:02Yeah.
16:02You know, I was thinking that we could take the summer holidays off and do a bit of a road trip round Italy.
16:07Are you mad?
16:08How do you think I can take six weeks off the restaurant?
16:10Oh, you just do it.
16:12You're the boss.
16:13Yeah, exactly.
16:14I'm the boss.
16:15I'm in charge.
16:18Do you know, some of the shit you come out with sometimes...
16:20I just thought it'd be fun.
16:21If I'm not a chin or a double chin, it's a shitstorm, Fiona.
16:25Look what a mess it is, and I'm only away for one night.
16:27I don't think you appreciate how difficult it is to do my job sometimes, or any job.
16:32Well, I'm sorry.
16:35I thought it'd be a nice, fun family holiday.
16:38Maybe you should have stayed in your bloody kitchen overcooking your overpriced burgers.
16:46It's not even real, golf!
16:49Focus.
16:52156.
16:53157.
16:54158.
16:55I think you need to step away from that alligator's hole.
16:59Yeah, I'm just gonna...
17:01Go back to my tent and have a lie down.
17:02Yeah.
17:10Still got it.
17:11I'm sure.
17:12Can we have a word?
17:29You all right?
17:46I should never have come on this stupid trip.
17:48Yeah, I know how you feel.
17:49I'm having a bit of a shock on myself.
17:59I think my business is about to close.
18:02Oh, shit.
18:03I massively overstretched myself with double chin.
18:06We're hemorrhaging money.
18:07I think we've four, maybe five weeks left.
18:12I'm shitting my pants.
18:14Have you told Fi?
18:15No.
18:17I can't tell her.
18:18Do you want to split this antique ecstasy pool with me?
18:25Where'd you get that?
18:26Found it in my tent.
18:28It's probably been there since the last time I went to a glass.
18:30Didn't breathe, so...
18:32God knows if it still works.
18:36Little bar.
18:36Oh, my God!
18:45Oh, my bladder!
18:50Thank you for the lift.
18:56I'm a pervert.
18:58I've been given a formal warning for ogling men.
19:01I can't stop myself.
19:03Oh, Anne.
19:05God, I've spent...
19:05all these years repressing the fact
19:07that I should have been out there
19:08sowing my oats
19:09instead of marrying the first man who came along,
19:10and now...
19:12it's all just bubbling over
19:12and I can't help myself.
19:14Oh, stop this, Anne.
19:15You're very many.
19:16We all are.
19:16Oh, speak for yourself, Fi.
19:18Is that what this is?
19:19It's your body getting rid of the last of your eggs.
19:21You're looking for anybody to impregnate you.
19:23Makes you an absolute horned dog.
19:25Well, that actually makes a lot of sense.
19:28Thanks, Fi.
19:29That's...
19:29That's a relief.
19:31I don't even care about cock.
19:33It's got me, too.
19:34Wow.
19:34It must be really hard
19:36for you being around here,
19:37Hannah's, Anne.
19:38You know, because...
19:41He's so sexy.
19:44Actually, no.
19:45He's the only man
19:46who doesn't arouse me.
19:51Oh, for God's sakes!
19:53Would you stop drinking
19:54in front of me, Anne?
19:55Oh, come on, now.
19:56Look, if you don't use the campsite,
19:58lose, so be it.
19:59But at least try and have a wee
20:00in that copse over there.
20:01No one's going to see you.
20:02Just go!
20:02Desperate!
20:03Go on, now!
20:04Oh, God!
20:05Do you feel anything?
20:27Nope.
20:28What was that?
20:32I'll go check.
20:38Oh, cool.
20:40Baby, you okay?
20:41Mom!
20:41I'm coming!
20:42Snake!
20:43Snake!
20:44It's a snake!
20:46Snake!
20:46Oh, come on!
20:47What?
20:48That's...
20:49Okay, I think.
20:50This isn't a snake.
20:51I can't think you're picking it up.
20:52What?
20:53This is an earthworm
20:53with a leather jacket.
20:55What's all the screaming?
20:56You see this, boys?
20:57Yeah, I'd put that down
20:58if I was you, mate.
20:58That's an adder.
21:01You want to see a real adder?
21:02You should see the puff adders
21:04backing Kruger.
21:05Oh, my God!
21:07Little shit bit me!
21:08Right, we need to get you
21:09to hospital.
21:09What?
21:10Keep your hair on Twiggy.
21:11It's only a silly little baby snake.
21:13Poisonous, Janice.
21:13What?
21:14Oh, it's poisonous, is it?
21:15Right, fine.
21:16Okay, well,
21:17better suck the poison out then,
21:18hadn't I?
21:18No, Johannes, don't!
21:19Johannes, please, stop!
21:21Are you filming this?
21:21And now you're just
21:22putting poison in your mouth.
21:23You should listen to him, Johannes.
21:24Mal's a gardener.
21:25He knows about snakes.
21:26Shut up, JJ!
21:27Okay.
21:28See?
21:29It's absolutely fine.
21:31Oh, my tongue's all fucked.
21:33Oh, for God's sakes, Johannes!
21:36Right, come on,
21:37we're going to the hospital.
21:38I don't need to go to the hospital.
21:39You do?
21:39Will you come with us, please?
21:41I don't know if that's a good idea.
21:42Just to sit in the back with him, please.
21:44Just go.
21:45Please, come with us.
21:46I don't need to go to the hop-up-up-up.
21:49Yeah, well, fine.
21:50Okay, it's okay.
22:02Don't panic, guys!
22:03Don't panic!
22:04Everything's okay.
22:05Johannes, hang in there.
22:06We're nearly there.
22:07Mal, are you all right?
22:08Mal?
22:09Mal!
22:10Yeah.
22:11Yeah, I'm fine.
22:12Can you turn that music up a bit?
22:15What?
22:15There isn't any music.
22:17Oh.
22:18Cool.
22:21I thought you bugged off back to Shin.
22:24Let's go to Morocco.
22:25Yeah, right.
22:26No, I'm serious.
22:27Let's go at half-term.
22:28You, me, and Morton.
22:29Let's just go and eat to Jean and go to the souk and ride camels and it'll be amazing because
22:34it'll only be the three of us and we won't be anywhere near the restaurant and I'll turn
22:38my phone off and it'll be amazing.
22:40You've never turned your phone off.
22:46Fuck my phone.
22:47Fuck work.
22:48Fuck everything.
22:48Oh, you're right.
22:50I love you so much, baby.
22:52Are you serious?
22:54Here, take my credit card.
22:55Book it.
22:57Casablanca, here we go.
23:02Yeah, so I'm going to get my phone because it has all my passwords and photographs in it,
23:06so.
23:09Where is it?
23:10Locked it in that bush, mate.
23:13Yeah.
23:15Sick.
23:15Fix the piss over here.
23:23I think there's bound to be clean toilets in the Bupa wing, don't you?
23:28You shouldn't be with Johannes.
23:31What?
23:32He's not good enough for you, Amanda.
23:36Well, I think you're in the minority there, Mal, because everyone clearly adores Johannes.
23:41Oh, God, sorry.
23:42Your hair.
23:45It's like it's made of golden beams of light.
23:50Can I bob your hair?
23:58Oh, great.
24:00Johannes says you can pop in and see me now.
24:04Great.
24:04All right.
24:06I shall pop in.
24:15Hey.
24:16Hi.
24:17They need to keep me in overnight.
24:20They said the venom from the snake that bit me was more akin to that of a king cobra.
24:24Isn't that something?
24:25Yeah.
24:26Do you mind if I use your loo quickly, Johannes?
24:28No.
24:29Of course.
24:29I will be safe to travel back to London in the morning.
24:38The only thing is, it takes some time for the poison to leave your system.
24:43So, is it okay if I stay with you?
24:47Amanda?
24:48Of course.
24:49Amazing.
24:50It'll only be for a couple of weeks, a month max.
24:53Is that okay, baby?
24:56Great.
25:07Keep that up there.
25:09Ha!
25:09The brave soldier returns.
25:12How are you feeling, Your Highness?
25:14It was actually the worst they'd ever seen.
25:16But they said my body reacted so powerfully to it because I have such a strong immune system.
25:22Right.
25:22Yeah.
25:23We can get a guide to take us up the Atlas Mountains and have inquired about that Riyadh
25:27that Damon Alban uses every Christmas.
25:30And then I reckon that we just spend like ages just by the pool just doing nothing.
25:33Ned, you don't have to do that, mate.
25:35No, it's all right, Dad.
25:36I actually slept in here last night.
25:40What?
25:41Is everything all right, Dad?
25:42Yeah, no, I'm good.
25:46Just a little bit emotional today.
25:48I'm good, I'm good.
25:50That really touched me.
25:52Do you want a hug or something?
25:54Yeah.
26:00Good man.
26:02Listen, Johannes is going to come and stay with us for a couple of weeks while he recovers
26:06from his bite, but if you feel in any way uncomfortable about that...
26:10No, I think that's a nice thing to do.
26:13And if he's your boyfriend, then...
26:14Yeah.
26:15So you're sure that you definitely don't mind and you don't want me to ask him to go?
26:20Because just saying, I could easily break up with him.
26:22No, he's all right.
26:23Yeah.
26:23And he'll probably give us money, so...
26:25Yeah.
26:26Right.
26:26Hey, boys!
26:27Come and say goodbye!
26:28Stay strong.
26:33You're a legend.
26:35A good man.
26:36Spend it wisely.
26:39I'm proud of all of you boys!
26:44Georgie!
26:45Come on, we're going!
26:47Bye.
26:48Bye.
26:49Yeah, we're just going to...
26:50Bye.
26:52I hate you for making me leave!
26:54Right, Johannes.
26:58Don't forget your aftershave and anti-snoring nasal strips.
27:03Thank you, Bucky.
27:04And your athlete's foot spray.
27:06Oh, yeah.
27:06It really flared up under my bandage, but I guess if you get a fungus hot and damp, you
27:10can have issues, eh?
27:13I'm not going to miss sharing a bathroom with four people.
27:16I'm really going to miss you.
27:19Oh, I'm going to miss you too.
27:21Oh, if you will live on the other side of London.
27:24Actually, Amanda, I got you a little surprise.
27:26Oh.
27:27As a thank you for looking after me while I was recovering from my war wound.
27:31To be honest, it was a snake bite.
27:32The snake went to war with me, Amanda.
27:34It wanted me dead.
27:37Ta-da!
27:41Oh, my God, Johannes!
27:44Yeah, it's a hybrid, like us.
27:46Because I love petrol and you love electric.
27:48And look, look, look.
27:50It's got a personalised number plate.
27:53It says sensuous.
27:55Yeah, it does.
27:57But my business is senuous.
27:59I don't see what you're saying.
28:00I don't want to be difficult, but it's got too many fives.
28:03It should be 5-E-N-U-0-U-5.
28:06Well, you have to disguise some of the letters as numbers.
28:08No, I know that's sweet up.
28:09But you've done 5-E-N-5-U-0-U-5.
28:12And it should be 5-E-N-U-0-U-5.
28:15Amanda, I'm confused.
28:16Do you want the car or not?
28:17Yes, I love it.
28:20I love it.
28:21Oh, jeez.
28:24Oh, wow.
28:30You know when people say it's like watching a car crash in slow motion,
28:34this is what they mean?
28:35Joanna's bought her that.
28:37Apart from the fact I'm a massive lesbian,
28:39I do not understand what she sees in that huge plate of gamut.
28:42Yeah, I think we were all rooting for the snake.
28:46Hey-oh.
28:47Here she comes.
28:47Hi, Georgie.
28:49What's with the wristbands?
28:50I don't know.
28:52RSI, too much texting?
28:53Nice wheels, Amanda.
28:54Yeah.
28:55A little thank you from Johannes for being his sexy Florence Nightingale.
28:58Christ.
28:58No one ever tell him they're going right for a nurse.
29:00What's the price tag on that thing?
29:02Well, I didn't ask and I don't care.
29:04It's a very lovely gift.
29:08Diego.
29:09Night, you're a grand.
29:10Fee!
29:12I said I didn't care.
29:14Is it six figures with a sunroof?
29:16Yeah.
29:17Hi!
29:17Hey, hey, hey.
29:18Hey, Anne.
29:19Great news, you guys.
29:21The beer keller says they'll do us a keg of hoppy seconds at cost.
29:26Hey, yeah.
29:27What's this?
29:27Oh, we're just trying to organise the end of season awards party for the club.
29:31Yeah, last year was such a blast.
29:32We're going for the same again.
29:33So keg of beer, a bit of a barbecue, Mal and Ned's famous disco.
29:37Oh, Anne, no, come on.
29:39Surely we can aim a little higher than that.
29:40That's all the subs we'll cover, sadly.
29:43We're not exactly Tottenham's hot spur.
29:46How are you a coach?
29:47Well, if it's a money issue, we might be able to lend a hand.
29:51Uh, the royal we?
29:53Johannes and I.
29:54If you don't mind making a little donation,
29:56we wouldn't say no to some cav and a bucket of haribo.
29:59And that's not how you spend money.
30:01Hi!
30:02Hush, wife!
30:03You blocked me in!
30:04It's fine.
30:05Sensuous, move it or I'll slap your tyres!
30:08Actually, I'm...
30:09I'm going to move it.
30:11It's actually sensuous for middle-essers of five!
30:14Mommy, I'm mid-collab.
30:23I know.
30:24I'm actually in the market for, um, a fizzy tab.
30:27You've got a fizzy tab.
30:28Look, if you're bored, why don't you give Fia a call,
30:31see if she's around.
30:31I'm not bored.
30:32I'm just thinking of you, cooped up in your showroom.
30:36And I was thinking, you know, you're looking a bit...
30:38Thin.
30:38Tired.
30:39You've got bags under your eyes.
30:40I'm fine, thank you.
30:41Amanda!
30:42Okay, I've got to go, Mommy.
30:44Yes?
30:45Amanda, can you do a delivery for me to reach London?
30:48Do I look like a postman, Daniel?
30:50Look, it's 500 quid's worth of taps.
30:52They've asked for you by name.
30:53Who order's 500 pounds' worth of taps?
31:04Oh, man!
31:07Worth every penny.
31:08The taps, I'm talking about the taps, I don't...
31:11Yohannes!
31:12Sorry, I just miss this so much.
31:17Listen, Yohannes, um, I was wondering if you thought it'd be fun
31:21to sponsor the Kids Football Awards this year.
31:24Just because it's such a deprived area, and, um...
31:27Yeah, sure.
31:29Really?
31:30Yeah.
31:30Oh.
31:32Well, they'll be thrilled.
31:35Could be a nice little, uh, send-off.
31:37A what?
31:38Well, I've been thinking about your living situation, and, uh...
31:42Oh, my God!
31:48I can't believe this has bought me a house!
31:51Oh, my God!
31:53I haven't bought you a house, Amanda.
31:55I've only just bought you a car.
31:58Oh!
31:58Greedy birdie.
31:59Now, these are the keys to this place.
32:01I thought you and the kids might like to move in.
32:03Oh.
32:04There's tons of space.
32:05Got a bathroom each.
32:07The guy upstairs lives in Singapore, and the guy downstairs had his assets frozen.
32:11So talk about quiet.
32:12Yeah.
32:13And look at the view.
32:15You know we get seals here.
32:16What about the kids' schools?
32:18Ah, I'll just pay for St. Anthony's.
32:20It's much better than the dump they're at now.
32:22God, that's so kind.
32:26Can I think about it?
32:28Yeah, of course.
32:29It's a big step.
32:29Yes.
32:30For both of us.
32:30Yeah.
32:3150 years of Bachelor, I'm throwing my keys around willy-nilly.
32:34What have you done to me, Amanda?
32:36Lost my bloody mind!
32:38Yeah, let's not say anything to the kids just yet, just because I need to find the right
32:42time to talk to them about it.
32:44Anything from the lady.
32:49Oh, hey, hey, hey, look, look, look, look, look, look, I see him.
32:52Oh, wow!
32:53Look at that little fella.
32:54Oh!
32:56Oh, wait, wait.
32:57No, it's a, it's a tyre.
32:59Oh.
33:04Yeah, so why don't we just wait a couple more minutes until we have everyone and then...
33:08Sorry, I'm late!
33:10Murder at my cola.
33:12Put your pen.
33:12Sorry, murder.
33:13I'll get us your way.
33:14Uh, yeah.
33:15Okay.
33:16Oh, let's get started.
33:18Great.
33:19Okay.
33:20Yeah, so I think you all know Amanda, who has very kindly offered to sponsor this year's
33:24event.
33:25Namaste, guys.
33:26Just glad we can give something back.
33:28So I think we can all agree that, like, last year's party was pretty awesome.
33:32So as the old saying goes, you know, if it ain't broke, don't go tinkering with the
33:36original.
33:36I just think we've had a terrific year as a club and it's time we had a bit more pride
33:41in ourselves.
33:42You know, we can, like, part the barbecue, get a caterer in.
33:45Oh, I could do my sausage rolls because there ain't no party like an Anne's sausage party.
33:49No thank you, Anne.
33:50No.
33:50We are getting professionals in.
33:52Can you see if the people who did my 40th birthday are available?
33:54Ed, they've gone out of business.
33:55In a year?
33:57Well, that was actually five years ago because you're 40th.
33:59I'm thinking photo booth.
34:01It's your machine.
34:04I'm spitballing here, guys.
34:06Mixologist.
34:07Professional DJ.
34:08Whoa, whoa, whoa.
34:09Come on.
34:09The only reason I got involved with any of this football shit is so me and Ned can DJ the
34:13party.
34:13Okay, Mal, sure, though, it isn't all about you.
34:19Can I just get some plain old kava?
34:21Like, I'm not great with the cocktails.
34:23It mixes together fine in the metal thingy, but once it hits my colon, it's like the Rapids
34:26in Centreperts.
34:27Fine, we'll get some kava.
34:29Great.
34:30Yeah.
34:30Well, that's sorted then.
34:31I will call my friend at Bluebird and get him started on the cocktail design.
34:35And you call the jurors people.
34:37That was a really brilliant idea.
34:39Yeah.
34:39Yeah.
34:40Yeah.
34:43It's great to see her back to her old self.
34:45She's had a bit of a crappy year, so maybe just let her have this one thing.
34:49That's what they said about Poland.
34:57Mika, to the left.
34:58No, you are the left.
35:00Actually, sorry.
35:00No, I was right.
35:01To the left.
35:02See, right.
35:03Right.
35:04Yeah.
35:04No.
35:04I didn't know the kava.
35:06Stuff tastes like fizzy piss.
35:08You'll have to send it back and knock it off the bill, yeah?
35:10Yeah, that's it.
35:11That's it.
35:12That's it.
35:12Just put it just there.
35:13Would you look at this?
35:14It's like the New York Met Gala in here.
35:16That's two different things, Anne, but yeah.
35:19Love the banner.
35:20Mm.
35:20Yeah, Hannah's got that printed.
35:21Such a nice thought.
35:22Look, I know you said not to Amanda, but I made some of my famous sausage rolls, just in
35:26case.
35:26They're not famous, Anne.
35:28They are in my house.
35:29Yes, that's not what famous means.
35:30Leave the catering to the caterers, shall we?
35:33Okay, everyone.
35:33All hands on deck.
35:39Oh, yeah.
35:41Sorry, what does an offside mule have in it?
35:45It's a Moscow mule.
35:46Oh, that's very good.
35:47And the, um, the pina red carda.
35:50It's a pina colada.
35:51Oh, that's very clever.
35:53Hey.
35:55Hold on.
35:56Oh, someone's on it.
35:57I have to tell Fee, the business is going under it.
36:01What, hey?
36:03Yep.
36:03Safety in numbers.
36:05And coming out to my parents taught me that I require a very specific amount of alcohol
36:09before I reach a place of complete honesty.
36:11What's the amount?
36:12Oh, it's a very delicate balance.
36:14The trick is to stop just south of vomiting.
36:17Hmm.
36:19Did you decide on a cocktail?
36:20Oh, no.
36:21Could I please have a glass of cava?
36:22You haven't got cava.
36:23What?
36:24Okay.
36:25Could I get a Soha Moha and a Golden Baller for Mr. Vandervelde, please?
36:31Amanda, you forgot my cava.
36:32Yes, Johanna sent it back.
36:34He says it's not a proper drinker.
36:36It's just Spain pretending to be France.
36:38Have something else.
36:38Come on, be adventurous.
36:40One for you.
36:40Just a beer, please.
36:41Sorry, we haven't got beer tonight.
36:42It's just cocktails.
36:43The Aussie guy said so.
36:44How are you doing?
36:44Welcome.
36:45This must be your beautiful wife or girlfriend, though.
36:47Oh, yeah, because football fans famously hate beer.
36:50Come on.
36:50You can have your tinnies in your cheap bubbles any time.
36:52Let's keep it classy for one night.
36:54I'm trying to raise the bar here.
36:56Literally.
36:57Thank you, Jude.
36:58Oh, Mummy, look at you.
37:09So, are you staying?
37:10Well, the kids virtually begged me, and so I jiggled a few things around in the diary.
37:14Oh, that's great.
37:15Georgie, take the wristband off.
37:16You look like Andy Murray.
37:17I like it.
37:17It's cool.
37:18It doesn't go with the dress, darling.
37:19Well, neither did your plaid shirts and chokers.
37:22We let it go.
37:22Actually, Mummy, I'm glad I've got you.
37:24What, generally?
37:25Don't say anything to the kids.
37:26Yes, but Johannes has asked us to move into his place in Wapping.
37:32Well, that's a very kind offer.
37:33Yeah, he's so generous.
37:36And he worships me, but I don't know if it feels like things are moving too fast, or...
37:41Well, sometimes you have to move fast, don't you?
37:43I mean, you're not getting any younger.
37:45Well, none of us are.
37:47I think my dermatologist would disagree.
37:49Look, I know I pretended to like this place.
37:51You haven't.
37:52Wapping is the new Holland Park.
37:55I'm so excited.
37:56Good for you, darling.
37:58Thank you, Mummy.
38:00Oh, it's starting.
38:01Get yourself a drink.
38:02Good evening, everyone.
38:03Thank you so much for coming.
38:05We've got lots to get through this evening.
38:06Lots of awards to give out.
38:07Could I have a girl-fashioned without the bitters or the soda water?
38:11That's just a whiskey.
38:12Yeah, three of those.
38:13In one glass.
38:14Well, it's been a very positive season for the under-11s.
38:18Our unbeaten record in 10 of our 18 games.
38:21Thanks.
38:25Guys, what the hell's in that?
38:26Oh, that might be mine.
38:30Oh, my God, is that a tattoo?
38:32You should just pen, chill.
38:33Pen my home.
38:34That is a prison tattoo.
38:35Have you seen that?
38:36It's not a big deal.
38:37Please tell me Georgie hasn't got one.
38:39Yeah, of course.
38:40We were slates.
38:40And now for the most improved award, the award for the most improved player.
38:57The most improved player joined us at the beginning of the season and has quickly become an absolute
39:03linchpin of the team.
39:04I can't wait to see what she does next season.
39:06So, let's put our hands together for Georgie Hughes.
39:10Oh, my God!
39:16This is my own creation.
39:22I call it the Vandervelde Slammer.
39:24Georgie's off.
39:25You guys, sit down.
39:26Please, sit down.
39:27Thank you, Georgie!
39:28And well done, Georgie.
39:30Our next is the under-15s category.
39:32Didn't get my photo.
39:33Sophie Webster.
39:34Come up and collect the award for Player of the Year.
39:41That's the award for Sophie.
39:43Right.
39:43Let's crack on.
39:45Perfect.
39:46Please welcome our club secretary.
39:48Hi.
39:52Let's be not pleased.
39:53A huge thank you to our sponsors.
39:57Oh, you're welcome!
39:59Dick.
39:59Without whose generosity tonight would be so different.
40:05A great big round of applause for Amanda.
40:08Yes!
40:09Come on, baby!
40:10Come on, come on.
40:12There she is!
40:15All right, my baby!
40:16Woo!
40:17Thanks, everyone.
40:18Wow!
40:19That is a lot of dupery.
40:21Goodness.
40:21Um, thank you, of course, to Anne for, um, uh, thanks, Anne.
40:31Um, so, on behalf of the Vandervelde Senuas Foundation, I just want to say what a privilege
40:39it is to support the little guys, you know, because, um, we might be up here, but we never
40:47forget about down there.
40:48Um, so, um, have a great evening and enjoy the party.
40:53All right, baby!
40:58Oh, baby.
40:59Oh, baby.
41:00Oh, baby.
41:01Oh, baby.
41:04Oh, baby.
41:07Oh, baby.
41:08Oh, baby.
41:10Hey.
41:11Hey.
41:12Uh, listen, I was wondering, could you play me a little bit of Rick Astley?
41:15I don't think I have any.
41:16Well, maybe you could just plug your phone in or something.
41:19I'm more of a vinyl guy, you know?
41:21Old school DJ.
41:22Yeah.
41:22Well, maybe you could make an exception seeing as I'm paying for all this.
41:28Yeah.
41:29Right, I'll, uh, I'll stick it on after this for you.
41:33Rick Astley.
41:33Yeah.
41:34Rick Astley, yeah.
41:35What does she see in that dickhead?
41:39Oh, you know, she seems happy and I think she's really into him.
41:42I don't know about you, but I can't drink another crossbargarita.
41:46I'm going to sneak out, get some beers.
41:48Anyone want anything?
41:49Ah!
41:50Now you're talking my language.
41:52No, we can't.
41:53Because Amanda will kill us.
41:55She wants everything all fancy in here.
41:56Well, you can't drink it in here.
41:58There's always the shipping container out the back.
42:00Yes, mate.
42:01Cava, two bottles.
42:02I have money.
42:04Woo!
42:07Oh, dear!
42:11Sweetheart, come on.
42:13It'll be like when the Beckham's do it.
42:14Here.
42:15No.
42:15Okay, well, just take the wristband off.
42:17No, it's cool.
42:18Just for the photo.
42:19You won't want to look back on yourself in sports schedule.
42:22Okay, there we go.
42:23There we go.
42:24Sweetheart, like this.
42:25Like this.
42:25Hands like this.
42:26There we go.
42:27OMG, is that a tattoo?
42:29No.
42:30Only a little one.
42:31Me and Morton did them to each other.
42:33Why would you do that?
42:34Because we're best mates.
42:35No, you're not.
42:36You're two kids who ended up in the same class for a bit.
42:39You're going to look at that scab of hepatitis in a few years
42:42and you're going to say, what was I thinking?
42:43No, I won't.
42:44You will, Georgie.
42:45I don't know anyone from when I was your age.
42:48What does that tell you?
42:49That nobody liked you?
42:50No, I don't know anyone from when I was your age.
42:54I was your age.
42:56Oh, there she is.
42:57Oh, there she is.
42:59King of the noise town.
43:00I'm on the beach.
43:01Bubbles for Anne.
43:02I'm gasping.
43:03And we've got this.
43:05Bye.
43:06Oh, she's glamorous.
43:08I'll get you a glass, lad.
43:11Cheers.
43:11Someone needs to be filming this
43:27Where's Ab?
43:28Can I say you look insanely hot tonight
43:30I sent like five photos of you
43:32To my rugby mate's WhatsApp group
43:34And they all agree you're a stunk old ten
43:36The place looks great
43:37You've really polished a turd
43:39Speaking of which
43:40There's a great new sports centre in Wapping
43:42I know, no pressure
43:44Yeah, can I get like an empty wine glass please
43:49Thank you
43:49There you are, I've been looking for you guys
43:53Hey
43:53Um, let's just get some ice
43:56It's hot
43:58Work, spinning the old ones and twos
44:00Have you seen everyone? Where's Anne?
44:02We've got to get the whole gang of photo booths
44:04Yeah
44:04Come on
44:05It was so good
44:07You know, well
44:09You need them
44:11Come on
44:12Upstairs, downstairs
44:14It's such a fun party, isn't it?
44:20Oh, it's so fun
44:22Oh
44:23He's so generous, isn't he?
44:26Johannes
44:26Yeah, he really knows how to spend money on things
44:31Yeah
44:32You ready?
44:33Yeah
44:34Do you remember the thing you said in the hospital?
44:43About me being too good for Johannes?
44:47I don't remember saying anything
44:49I, uh
44:49I'd just taken an ecstasy by accident
44:53Oh
44:53Kind of
44:53And, uh
44:54I should, um
44:56Yeah, yeah, no
44:56I, uh
44:57That really does taste like cappuccino
45:04I hate the way she talks to me like I'm a kid
45:08Yeah, I know, babe
45:08She feels so right
45:09What's up, sweetheart?
45:13Mum's pissed off because me and Morton got, like, the tiniest tattoo
45:16And, like, she can talk
45:18What?
45:19Look, I think it's really lovely to have a little memento
45:22A little something to remember, um
45:25Morton
45:25Morton by
45:26At your new school
45:27New school?
45:29What?
45:29Oops
45:30And, again, what's going on?
45:32No, it's not for me to say
45:33Hey, guys
45:38Dope fits
45:38For real
45:39Um
45:40Have any of you guys seen Morton's mum or your mum, Darius?
45:44Not for a bit, actually
45:44Sorry
45:45Okay
45:45Cool, cool
45:46Gucci
45:46Um
45:47Well, enjoy yourselves
45:48Yeah
45:49Gucci?
45:52Anne?
45:54Guys?
46:01Guys?
46:01Anne?
46:01Anne?
46:02Anne?
46:02Shit
46:04It's Amanda
46:05Just
46:05Shh
46:06I feel like I'm in The Walking Dead
46:08What are you doing in here?
46:17Why aren't you at my party?
46:18It's not your party, doll
46:20It's the club's party
46:22Yeah, I'm just not very cocktails and canapes
46:26Canapes
46:26Exactly, see
46:27I don't even know that
46:29And, in fairness, we did say we wanted something a bit more
46:31Low-key
46:33Great
46:35At least we know where we all stand
46:37And next year you can have your trough of lager and your scotch eggs
46:40Because I won't be here
46:41Don't be like that
46:42No, I won't be here, Anne
46:43I'm moving to Wapping with Johannes
46:45What?
46:47No, you're not
46:49You can't move to Wapping
46:51What about
46:52Everything here?
46:54Please, Anne, this is always a stock-up
46:55I do not belong in South Halston
46:56I should be among people who would appreciate this party
46:59I'm a canapé person, Anne
47:01And I refuse to spend my life amongst sausage rolls
47:04Oh, I'm fucking hot
47:13Johannes
47:13Yes
47:17Yes, Wapping?
47:19Yes, I will move to Wapping with you
47:21Oh, you
47:22You will
47:23Oh, my God
47:24I'm so fucking happy
47:27I love this woman
47:29I bloody love this woman
47:31I'm gonna call my mother
47:35She'll be so relieved
47:37Coming back inside, Anne?
47:47Uh, yeah
47:48I can't go in there
47:50I don't want to see her
47:52Would you tell Darius I'll be waiting outside?
47:56Yeah, of course
47:56I hate that
48:03It's not that
48:04She's already made us move school once
48:06But I just love it here
48:07Come on, girls
48:08Are you okay?
48:13What's wrong?
48:15My gang-gun said mum's moving us to Wapping
48:17And I don't want to go
48:18It sucks
48:19But your mummy loves you
48:21And she wouldn't be doing this
48:22Unless she thought it was good for you
48:24And sometimes in life
48:26We have to do things that people don't like
48:28Because in the long run
48:30It's the right thing to do
48:34Even if people might hate you for a bit
48:37For God's sake
48:52That's miles away
48:53Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen
49:07If I could just get a minute of your time, please
49:09To be honest, I can do because I paid for all this
49:12Amanda, where's Amanda?
49:18Amanda?
49:19Amanda?
49:20Amanda?
49:21There she is
49:22Amanda, come up, girl
49:23Come up
49:24Come up here, baby
49:26What's going on?
49:30Now, I know we haven't known each other for very long at all
49:34But when you've had a near-death experience
49:37Like I had recently
49:39It makes you realise what's important about life
49:44So
49:45What have you done to me?
49:51I'll hardly ever do this
49:53What are you going to do?
49:55Amanda
49:55Yes?
49:56Would you do me the honour
49:57Of becoming my wife?
50:07Don't do it, Amanda!
50:09Anne?
50:10No, no, no, no, no, no, no
50:11Absolutely not
50:11What the fuck?
50:12You can't marry him
50:13What?
50:14I know you don't want to hear this
50:15Because he's rich
50:16And he has a nice flat
50:17It's a penthouse
50:18It's a penthouse
50:19But as your best friend, it is my duty
50:21Oh my god
50:21To tell you things that you might not want to hear
50:23And I'm telling you this right now
50:24You cannot marry him
50:26You're too good for him
50:28You're not my best friend, Anne
50:31Yes, I am
50:32No, you're not
50:33My best friend is called Elizabeth
50:34And she lives in Canada
50:35She was my maid of honour
50:37Well
50:38I don't see her here now, Amanda
50:40Stopping you from making the biggest mistake of your life
50:43We are best friends
50:46Whether you liked it or not
50:47And that's how I know you don't love him
50:49And don't go telling me
50:50Oh, he makes me happy
50:51Because you've half a sausage roll on your chin
50:52And if you eating carbs isn't a cry for help
50:55Then I don't know what is
50:56So please
50:57Don't marry this dick
50:59And don't leave Soha
51:00For the love of God
51:02Right
51:05Well, if the drunk lady's finished with her floor show, then...
51:08I'm not even drunk
51:09Thanks to you
51:10Well, if this is you sober, madam
51:12Then you are an embarrassment
51:14Hey
51:14Don't talk to her like that
51:17Okay, okay
51:18Look, I'll make it really simple for you, right
51:20You know the life I can give you
51:23Now, do you want that life?
51:25Or would you rather stop here
51:26Drinking shit wine in the ass end of nowhere?
51:29Here you go, darling
51:36You know what, Amanda?
51:40All the best!
51:45I know
51:46He closed the tab
51:48I had to go to something called a Londis
51:50I would have said yes
51:53But look where that gets you
51:57I'm so proud of you, darling
51:59Your mascara smudged
52:06I can't drink this filth
52:08I'm sure I saw a bottle of peach schnapps in there
52:12I need to talk to you right now
52:20Oh, okay
52:21Should we?
52:22No, no, no
52:23Right now
52:23Okay, what the fuck is...
52:28We're screwed
52:28I borrowed too much for double shin
52:30And it's taken out both shins
52:32I've tried everything
52:34But the numbers just don't add up
52:36So, yeah
52:41We're screwed
52:42Good
52:44What?
52:45I've barely seen your smile
52:46In the last two years
52:47In fact, I've barely seen you
52:49In the last two years
52:51Now, I want all the success in the world for you, darling
52:53But if it's not making you happy
52:56And this means that I might get you back
52:58And...
52:59Just let it go
53:01We'll be okay
53:04I can just start selling my ceramic pots
53:07I just wanted to say, um...
53:16Your sausage rolls are actually delicious
53:19I know
53:22She's right, you know
53:30Well, no
53:31Elizabeth was my best friend
53:33But with the distance
53:34No, not that
53:35You are too good for him
53:38Are you coming, big man?
53:40Yep
53:41Ned
53:42There is space in the Popemobile
53:46If you want to live back to my house
53:47My house?
53:48Well, I'm 34
53:49You're 34A, so, uh...
53:52Mummy, kids, come on
53:53We're going home
53:54Mum
53:56Have you got a tattoo?
53:59What?
54:00I didn't tell her
54:02Well, thanks a lot, Mummy
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