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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Well, I mean, listen, Star, one of the many things I love about you is, again, this energy that you bring, all the great words that, you know, you say about any sort of occasion that comes our way.
00:11So color me a little surprised that after you get voted out, you bring your torch up.
00:16We hear these words behind you being like, we love you, Star. Great job, Star.
00:20And from our perspective, it doesn't look like you really acknowledge them or say anything and then you walk out.
00:25Is that accurate? And, you know, what was going through your head that made you decide to sort of give them the cold shoulder?
00:31Well, the irony with that, and I think if some people really look at the detail in my body language and how I maneuver when I get up to get my torch, I already have my book bag on my back.
00:45And that's, I already have my book bag on my back.
00:48Once I saw it was that tie, that four, four star, four Mary, I said, I'll be down.
00:55I started grabbing it already.
00:58And when Jeff said start, I'm like, that's it.
01:01That's cool.
01:02No worries, no problem, no hard feelings, but let's not be fake.
01:06Let's not be fake.
01:07I'm not responding to y'all because I would have respected y'all more if y'all just said, I'm writing your name down.
01:13Now we can say, have the goodbyes.
01:15The only person that, I don't think they showed it, but the only person that actually told me, hey, I'm writing your name down was Shaheen.
01:24And I respected that.
01:25But before he told me that, he said, you play a hell of a game and that's why I have to get you out.
01:29And I said, man, I've been trying to get you out since day one.
01:33I got you.
01:33And honestly, that's all I can ever ask for.
01:37Look me in my face and tell me you're going to stab me in my back.
01:40Don't stab me in my back and tell me you love me.
01:42No.
01:44Not here.
01:45Not today.
01:46Yeah.
01:46So talk to me a bit about those feelings, because, again, throughout this tribal council, right, you talk about, you know, paranoia is a choice.
01:53I'm not subscribing to it.
01:54You know, you mentioned that point where Mitch does tell you to play your shot in the dark.
01:58So what's it just a matter of like, because everyone was telling you that you were fine, it gave you that sort of sense of, all right, I don't need to play it then.
02:07Was there something else that was said or something you felt throughout the day that made you feel like you were in an OK place to not feel the need to play the shot in the dark?
02:14So for me, the reason why I didn't play the shot in the dark is because I knew they were just trying to fish it out.
02:20And I'm like, if I play the shot in the dark now, tomorrow I'm definitely going home.
02:24This is the only thing I have left.
02:26Obviously, in my better judgment, I kind of hope that maybe some way, somehow, Eva would have been like Jeff for a star.
02:33But that was in a daydream of mine a long, long, long, long time ago.
02:38And, you know, that's her game.
02:40I get it.
02:40But for me, I really, really, really thought that the numbers were on my side.
02:45And that's just because I'm a confident person.
02:46Sometimes it's to a fault.
02:48But that's why as I'm talking, I'm like, I think I did a Chrissy.
02:51I might have put my foot in my mouth that, you know, similar to Chrissy's previous tribal council before she got voted on.
02:58She's like, we got to get these strong guys out.
03:00And I'm like, Chrissy, please.
03:01So I think I probably put my foot in my mouth.
03:05I shouldn't have been too confident.
03:06People don't like that.
03:07I see they like it better when you're insecure, scared, and running away or hiding behind somebody.
03:14I'm not.
03:14I don't need.
03:14I told them I beat to the beat of my own drums.
03:18Shaheen says sometimes a drum has to stop beating.
03:20I said, oh, baby, this drum never stops beating.
03:22And that's true.
03:23I looked at Uncle JP.
03:25I said, hit me where it hurts.
03:27And he snuffed my torch.
03:28Well, let's talk about this drum solo that you've been doing for the better part of 19 days.
03:33Because, I mean, from our perspective, the reason why you end up getting the boot over Mary partially is because, like, they're perceiving you as this wild card, as this sort of form of chaos.
03:44What's your reaction to that?
03:46Was that something that you saw out on the island as well?
03:49I think it was a lot of projecting.
03:51I honestly, even watching back, because, you know, we're all watching ourselves, for me, watching myself was a delight.
03:59I'm a really nice person.
04:00I'm a wonderful person already.
04:02But to really see myself from another view, I'm like, wow, am I really this nice?
04:07Like, I'll give a stranger a billion dollars if this is the case.
04:12Like, I'm scared of me.
04:13I got to get away from this.
04:15I got to get my Russell hands on or something.
04:17I got to be a villain.
04:18But I guess I'm just not that person.
04:21You know when it's a scene in a previous Survivor season and Sandra Diaz-Twine goes, I don't even know why I'm with you guys.
04:29I'm not even a villain.
04:30I should be with the heroes.
04:32And I'm like, I don't even know why I'm with you guys.
04:34I'm not a hero.
04:35I want to be a villain.
04:38But it's just not for my game.
04:40So when everyone's calling me chaotic, I'm like, every time I look at myself, I'm eating a coconut on this bamboo.
04:46Every time I look at myself, I'm rolling out of bed trying to figure out how I can make my back sit up straight because we've been laying on this bamboo for days.
04:57Some people were sleeping on the floor.
04:58I couldn't do that.
05:00Some people were sleeping in the sand.
05:01I couldn't do that.
05:02The most comfortable place was the bamboo on the top at camp.
05:07So once again, for everyone to call me chaotic, I was trying to figure out where the chaos was.
05:12And I've heard that all the way through.
05:14Some people were like, they don't want to work with you because they think you're too much.
05:17They don't want to work with you because of this.
05:18And I honestly think that people just didn't want to take the time to understand me.
05:22And maybe if they understood me, they would know that I'm actually a really cool, genuine, loyal person.
05:26But unfortunately, they maybe misjudged me prior to or closed me off and said, no, thank you.
05:33And at that point, I see myself trying to find groups that I can get in.
05:36And they're like, closing the door, closing the door, closing the door.
05:41You like you see, it's like a restaurant.
05:43You're about to walk in.
05:45And next thing you know, the owner goes close.
05:47Well, let's go back to the beginning of the game here, because maybe something that helped inspire that perception is when you hit the beach, you're quite literally running, right?
05:58It's a lot of idle hunts.
06:00And then we see it ends up going from something very private to something that is very public as well.
06:06So talk to me a bit about your approach here.
06:10Was this something that you had always planned or was it a matter of just like, I can't figure this damn thing out.
06:14Let me try to bring in as many people as possible.
06:17So the thing with the beware advantage is I really was not even I wasn't looking for it.
06:22I was told if you find something, you let me know by Joe.
06:26And I said, OK.
06:27And he said, if I find something, I'll let you know.
06:30From day one, when we got on the loggy beach, he said he wanted to work with me.
06:33I was like, oh, I was like, oh, my God.
06:35Me? OK, cool.
06:37Say less.
06:38And then so the first once I find that beware advantage, which I only went looking because I'm like, if I'm on the bottom.
06:45Y'all talking about sending me off this game.
06:48Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
06:49Let me go do what I need to do to figure this out.
06:52So maybe if I would have shut up and not said anything at all, I think I would have been able to figure it out by myself.
06:58But the thing with that is once I went to Joe, he didn't know how to fix it or unlock it.
07:03He told me to go tell Shaheen because Shaheen's a college debate professor.
07:08He said, you know, I'm like, all right, teacher, come on, teacher, help me.
07:11And so I go to him and he's like, at first, like, you can tell he might be trying to help me.
07:17But then, of course, I start talking too much and then I try to bring other folks in.
07:22And now Bianca knows.
07:23Now Thomas knows.
07:24And everyone's telling me different letters.
07:27So at first it was like L, B, E, W.
07:30So now I'm like, what?
07:32It's like 26 letters to the alphabet.
07:34What are we doing right now?
07:36Everyone's telling me X or V or X.
07:38And eventually I was just like, my brain was, it was nothing I could do because I just, it was so much different.
07:46So that was chaotic.
07:48It was so much chaos because everyone was telling me different letters.
07:51And I'm trying to trust these people because they all seem like they want to work with me.
07:55But the whole time they were playing.
07:57So once this does get up unlocked, it's in the hands of, of all people, Eva.
08:03And obviously we'll get into a lot with your relationship.
08:05But you choose in that moment, obviously following her incredibly public episode and her disclosing her autism to let her have this idol.
08:14So talk to me about what was going through your head in that moment that led to that decision, given also all the previous stuff you had with Eva in those days prior.
08:22Yeah.
08:22Yeah, for sure.
08:23So for me, given Eva the idol, a lot of people will say that was bad gameplay.
08:27But honestly, for me, I think that was the best gameplay I could have.
08:31That idol and that beware advantage really was hovering over me like crazy.
08:34A lot of folks don't know, but when you, when you have a certain thing for a certain amount of time, you only have so many, so much time to open it.
08:44I knew that the merge or the pre-merge, the murgatory was coming up.
08:49And I knew if I did not open this thing before these other people get on the group, it was going to go away.
08:55And I could not, my heart could not, I couldn't take it possibly going away.
09:01So honestly, the fulfillment for me was watching her open.
09:04Because, and you know, realistically speaking, finders keepers, losers weepers.
09:09You know, you weep in the corner.
09:10But the truth is, I really, in that moment, I'm like, hey, man, let's make this leaf.
09:14Let's turn a new leaf, Eva.
09:16Here's my olive branch.
09:17I'm extending it to you, okay?
09:19Because I could have given it to anybody, you know, could have given it to anybody.
09:24But in that moment, I'm like, come on, girl.
09:27Let's go.
09:28I get you now.
09:29I understand you.
09:30And I related to that story because I have a lot of nephews, nieces, and my older cousin, all on the spectrum, all have autism.
09:37And I'm like, okay, I get it now.
09:39At first, I'm like, why she keeps talking about why I can't swim?
09:42Or why you keep picking on me about this and that?
09:44And I'm like, oh, it's not that.
09:46It's not that at all.
09:47You're not picking on me.
09:48You're just calling out the obvious.
09:50And I can respect that.
09:51I can respect somebody that's going to look in my face and say, hey, I don't like that shirt.
09:57So then what was your reaction when, you know, we even seen this most recent episode that she is one of the people that's really pushing for you to go over Mary.
10:07Did you get a sense that your relationship sort of hadn't shifted past that first gear even after that whole idol maneuver?
10:13Yeah, like, the more I watch, oh, my girl, leave me alone.
10:18Like, can you say somebody else's name?
10:21I'm like, are we all okay with this snoring here?
10:23Like, you would rather have somebody snoring than me who don't snore.
10:27Even if I do snore, it's like, well, it's not as loud as a bitch.
10:29But, you know, the point is, I just, the more I'm watching, I'm like, why do you keep saying my name?
10:35But I, in the same breath, I think Shaheen can also say the same thing because he was the only name I ever said.
10:41So if my name was the only name Eva said, I'm honored.
10:46Because that means, you know, some way, somehow, maybe she saw me as a threat or maybe she just really wanted to get rid of me.
10:53I don't know.
10:53But I just, I don't know why she can't say my name.
10:56I'm like, girl, I thought we friends.
10:57We supposed to be friends.
10:58Why do you keep saying my name?
11:00Well, what about the Joe side of things?
11:01Because Joe has this comment sort of out of context in last night's episode of, like, Star is my kryptonite.
11:07You know, people at home will be watching this back being like, oh, my God, I can't believe they put her on the same tribe as you.
11:12Do you have any sense as to what that meant?
11:15Does that speak to your relationship that you had on the island?
11:17Hmm.
11:18Um.
11:20No.
11:21I don't know.
11:22Because, um, because honestly, like, when you watch and you see, like, I think I saw something that was like, Joe is giving the godfather.
11:30Which is true.
11:31Or you can even place him in a way of, like, um, another version Boston Robb.
11:36It's either we're not talking no more.
11:38Like, remember that one scene where Boston Robb, he just sat there.
11:41He's like, everybody's going to sit here.
11:42No one talk gameplay.
11:43Nope.
11:44Uh-uh.
11:44We're going to sit here together.
11:45We're going to kumbaya.
11:46But no one's going to talk gameplay.
11:48Nope.
11:49So if you watch and you see the moments, everyone's clinging on to him.
11:53And they're all like, you know, the father figure vibe.
11:56I'm even still coming back to him.
11:57I'm asking him who he sees in his final three.
12:00And it's like, girl, wake up.
12:02He doesn't see you, baby.
12:04And I'm like, but Joe, who do you think?
12:07And that's the irony of it all.
12:09He's just, he's such a great guy that you gel to him.
12:12You gel to him, even if you know, dang, I don't think this is smart.
12:17I should trust my better judgment.
12:19When you go talk to him, you're looking for insight.
12:21You're looking to see, like, does this make sense?
12:23And he's going to listen.
12:25He's going to listen.
12:26And he's going to do a little bit of this and a little bit of this.
12:29But he's definitely going to listen.
12:31Might not say much.
12:33But he'll end it with, I got you, girl.
12:35Well, I mean, to that point, from what you were sort of perceiving on Island, you know, we get this entire buildup in last night's episode about the revolution.
12:43That it's happening, that you're going to flip the game on Joe, does not see itself to fruition.
12:49What do you think was the reason why?
12:52I guess both from the eye on the Island at the time and now what you're seeing sort of in the aftermath.
12:57Was it as simple as what we saw on screen, which was like, you voted for Mitch.
13:01Mitch doesn't trust you.
13:02Mitch doesn't want to tie things up.
13:03Or were there more other reasons that you perceived from what was going on?
13:07So for me, once we saw, because, of course, in the beginning, we're like, yeah, it's going to be Joe.
13:12The revolution will be tough, guys.
13:13Let's get it.
13:14Let's go.
13:14We're going to get the bottom to the top one way somehow.
13:18But as the more we watch it, I'm like, we never stood a chance.
13:23We never stood a chance.
13:24It's a lot of times where when I'm doing it, I'm pulling the rope.
13:27I'm trying to tell my star star we need this.
13:29Like, we need this.
13:30I'm watching to my left.
13:31I'm in my right.
13:31I see Camilla.
13:32I'm like, girl, you need this.
13:34You need this.
13:34I'm looking to my left.
13:35I see Mitch.
13:36I says, we have to win.
13:37And when we realize Joe wins, it's like, where do we go from here?
13:44Of course, I pitch another idea.
13:46I say, hey, would y'all do Shaheen?
13:49Would you do Eva?
13:50And you see the faces.
13:52And then that's when I go and me and Mitch are talking.
13:54And he's on the hammock.
13:55And he's like, nah, I don't know.
14:00I'll let you know.
14:01And everyone knows in Survivor, if no one gives you a definite answer and they say, hmm, I don't know, the answer is no, I'm not helping you.
14:12And that's exactly what it is.
14:14I feel like maybe if I didn't write Mitch's name down previous Tribal Council, it would have been different.
14:20But honestly, I still think that he would have still went with the majority just to protect himself.
14:24And I get it.
14:25You have to protect yourself in this game.
14:27And if you're on a sinking ship, you got to jump.
14:29And unfortunately, I was a sinking ship.
14:31Well, last thing I got to ask is about your portrayal on this show.
14:36Because, you know, we had it in in drips and drabs.
14:38And listen, I was out there.
14:39I got to experience this incredibly infectious energy.
14:41So it was interesting to see, like, you suddenly pop off at the merge, like that pen cap, you know, or even through this most recent episode.
14:48Hell, Star, you have an entire freaking updates account that was, you know, referenced.
14:52Shout out Star Updates.
14:53Yeah, that was shouted out by CBS.
14:55So how do you look back on watching your own story?
14:59Considering that, you know, you have your own perspective on things.
15:02And now you also get to see the role that you played in the season overall.
15:05Yeah.
15:06So I know I'm glad that I was able to bring some joy to people who were watching.
15:10And a little laugh in a game like Survivor, where sometimes everything seems serious.
15:14People just seem so sad and hungry or just starving and villainous.
15:18I was glad I was able to put some lightheartedness into it.
15:21But I honestly, you can tell from the first time we land on that island day one and you see me, each day I'm losing a little energy because I know you need that.
15:32You need that support.
15:33You need those people around you to uplift you.
15:36And in a game, when you have no number one, when you're not really a part of any alliance, when you don't really have anywhere to go, you're kind of seen talking to yourself in a coconut, trying to motivate yourself.
15:47And there's a couple of times where I'm on the island.
15:49It's a challenge and I'm like defeated.
15:51And all I need is somebody to say, hey, it'll be okay.
15:55But in those moments, I had to tell my own self.
15:57Because once again, if you don't have a person, if you don't have an alliance, if you're not a part of the majority, you're on your own.
16:02You're alone.
16:03And I can tell from the beginning when I first started and I had so much hope and so much, I got this.
16:08And then each time, it just seemed a little different.
16:12And my story did change when we did that tribe swap.
16:15So I felt like New Loggie welcomed me in.
16:20New Loggie gave me the confidence that I needed to say, hey, man, it's not over yet.
16:25It's not over yet.
16:27But once David got voted out, like I said in my confessional, everything just went downhill from there.
16:34And I knew eventually my demise would come because I thought at least me, David, and Mary, that was my biggest, tightest, somewhat alliance that I could at least talk to.
16:45Or say, hey, guys, you okay?
16:47And they're like, yeah, we're okay.
16:49So it's a tough thing.
16:50It's a tough thing.
16:51But each episode, you can kind of see my energy depleting.
16:54You can see my smile go from to.
16:58And it's sad to say that when I'm watching because I just know I just needed that community.
17:02And when you don't got a community with you, you're just going to be alone.
17:05Well, you got one now.
17:07Yeah.
17:08With all these people, you know, that have been celebrating your time in the game.
17:10And I don't know if you remember the last thing you told me out there was like, listen,
17:13I, of course, I want to make it to the end.
17:16If not, I just want to feel like I gave it my all and be happy about the experience.
17:20And it sounds like even from talking with you now, obviously, it's a disappointment when,
17:24you know, you look at your bank account.
17:25But it sounds like from everything you brought to the game in terms of your personality,
17:31your energy level, even at times where it was flagging, it's very clear that you were
17:34putting everything into it.
17:36And, you know, that's all we can hope.
17:37So thank you for not only everything you brought to our screens, but of course, everything you
17:42brought today.
17:43You know how much I love getting the chance to talk to you.
17:44Yes.
17:44Yes.
17:45Thank you so much, Mike.
17:46I appreciate it, man.
17:47And thank you to everyone who supported me.
17:49Well, trust me, I'm very grateful and I will always be honored to be your Survivor Star.
17:54Aha.
17:55There we go.
17:56Well, thank you, as always, for bringing yourself in each and every syllable that you
18:00get to utter in these conversations.
18:02I'm sure this won't be our last one, but please, I wish you and your wife and Silver
18:06Mars nothing but the best.
18:09And thank you, Star, as always.
18:11Have a great day.
18:12You too, Mike.
18:14Bye.
18:14Bye.