Talkin’ Dirty After Dark

helios universal group

A struggling stand-up comedian hustles for laughs and love at a late-night Los Angeles comedy club, where a cast of eccentric performers and shady club owners keep the night unpredictable. This raunchy comedy delivers raw humor, wild situations, and a look at the grind behind the mic.

Transcript

00:00:00You

00:00:30Talkin' dirty, out the door

00:00:33Talkin' dirty, talkin' dirty to me

00:00:35Talkin' dirty, talkin' dirty to me

00:00:36I, I, I, tell

00:00:38Talkin' dirty, out the door

00:00:42Talkin' dirty, talkin' dirty to me

00:00:44Talkin' dirty, talkin' dirty to me

00:00:46Each night I go up to my favorite spot

00:00:50And I don't know why but I'm extremely hot

00:00:55And I've never seen you here, I don't know who you are

00:01:00But you're something, cause I see you must be stopped

00:01:05When you're magnetized, I'm circumcised, you're glamorizing

00:01:08I'm here to gratify you

00:01:10Don't pat your knife in with that bullshit from the street

00:01:12You're talkin' dirty, lookin' kinda like I'm sweet

00:01:14I'll shake you down, rub you down, and flip you over

00:01:16And over, and over again

00:01:18Come on, baby, let the games begin

00:01:21I talk dirty to me

00:01:23Talk, talkin' dirty, out the door

00:01:28You know what it is?

00:01:29I think you're a prank, yeah, that's what it is, you're a prank

00:01:32Talk, talkin' dirty, talkin' dirty to me

00:01:34Even a prank, you know what it is?

00:01:35Talkin' dirty, talkin' dirty, out the door

00:01:37Woo, woo, woo

00:01:40Now I don't know who you are

00:01:44You're like a star, a shining star

00:01:47In the night, baby

00:01:50And you don't know who I am

00:01:53So take a hand, let's hear the plan

00:01:56Dreaming alone

00:01:58Oh, I'm so dirty to me

00:02:03Come on, baby

00:02:14From the first time

00:02:19You saw my face

00:02:20You knew that I was from another place

00:02:22Not from here, not from there

00:02:23Not from anywhere

00:02:24But to all things

00:02:25I made you stand

00:02:27So come on

00:02:27Let's try and work together

00:02:29It'll be simple

00:02:30Kinda like I'm, uh...

00:02:33Pleasure

00:02:33This is Terry

00:02:37Leave your name at the time that you call

00:02:39Tonight you can catch me performin' at Dookie's Comedy Club

00:02:42I'm gonna be doin' my thing

00:02:43Yo, so come on down to 141st Street and South Central

00:02:47God bless

00:02:48Peace

00:02:49See ya

00:02:50Terry, this is Miss Washington from the phone company

00:02:54It is now 4.30 in the afternoon

00:02:56Your phone bill is overdue

00:02:58If you don't get your ass down here by Monday morning

00:03:01I'm cutting it off

00:03:02I'm tired of your shit

00:03:03I'm tired of your shit

00:03:07Fuck you

00:03:08Fuck the phone company

00:03:10You little 4-1-1

00:03:11Ting-a-ling-a-ling

00:03:12Ho

00:03:13All y'all kiss my ass

00:03:16Ow

00:03:17Mm-hmm

00:03:31Come on, Ruby Lynn, baby

00:03:32I told you I wanna get to the club early tonight

00:03:35Thanks

00:03:37Why can't you cooperate sometimes?

00:03:41Why can't you find time for me?

00:03:42Because I got a business

00:03:44And my business take real good care of you

00:03:46That's why

00:03:47Dookie, come here, baby

00:03:49Dookie, I wanted to be like it was

00:03:51When we first got together, you know

00:03:53Mm-hmm

00:03:54Mm-hmm

00:03:54Making love in the bathtub, baby

00:03:57Oh, baby

00:03:58Oh, yeah

00:03:59And sucking butter, almond, ice cream

00:04:02With hot funge off my toes

00:04:04Oh, baby

00:04:05Oh, Dookie

00:04:07I want the winnie when I want it

00:04:10Oh, come on, baby

00:04:11You know we ain't got no time

00:04:12I can't hear you

00:04:14I can't hear you

00:04:16Oh, you hear me all right, baby

00:04:17We leaving in one minute

00:04:19All right, all right

00:04:20Hold your pee

00:04:21Shh

00:04:21I'm almost ready

00:04:23I'm almost hurt

00:04:27Uh-huh

00:04:28All right

00:04:30Look, Mrs. Sinclair

00:04:36I ran into a little financial problem

00:04:38I know you're always helping me out, man

00:04:40All right, all right

00:04:42Look, you want me to beg?

00:04:43Okay, I'm begging

00:04:44Look, I'm down on my knees, man

00:04:45I'm begging

00:04:46I'm kissing your ass

00:04:47Your entire ass

00:04:49Mm-mm-mm

00:04:51Mm-mm

00:04:54That's for you, man

00:04:56Boy, you sick

00:04:58Bye

00:04:59Dookie, who is that?

00:05:04Terry

00:05:05Terry?

00:05:06Uh, what did he want?

00:05:09What does Terry always want?

00:05:10Money

00:05:11He needs $67 to pay his damn phone bill

00:05:13Ain't that a bitch?

00:05:14Yeah, see, but I keep telling you

00:05:16That boy is going to be big one day

00:05:18Hey, you ought to invest

00:05:20Ruby Lee and Terry don't mean nothing to me

00:05:21You're just another comic

00:05:22You know what?

00:05:23I don't see what you see in that damn boy

00:05:24Personally

00:05:25I just love his work

00:05:28Big

00:05:45Don't you mind staying home tonight?

00:05:50Hey, baby

00:05:51Won't you stay home?

00:05:52You trying to hide something or what?

00:05:54No, baby

00:05:55You know I wouldn't do that

00:05:57It's not that at all

00:05:58It's just that

00:05:59You cause a commotion

00:06:00Every time you come down to the club

00:06:02Hey, baby

00:06:02I don't like nobody laughing at my woman, all right?

00:06:04Big

00:06:04I'm a comedian

00:06:06Baby, you're my love goddess

00:06:07That's what you are

00:06:08If anybody looks at you

00:06:09Or laugh at you

00:06:12I'm gonna kill them

00:06:13Oh, no, baby

00:06:14Come on

00:06:14Ow, big

00:06:19Come on

00:06:20That's what I'm gonna do

00:06:21Jones

00:06:22Yeah

00:06:23Ow

00:06:24Ow

00:06:25Big

00:06:26You're gonna have to learn to control your emotions

00:06:30Hey, baby

00:06:31I like being jealous

00:06:33I'm a will-kind-of-kill-kind-of-mother-kind-of-brother

00:06:37That's what motivates me

00:06:38Yes

00:06:39Oh

00:06:39Tell you what, baby, you do 500 more bench presses

00:06:45and fix yourself two gallons of warm milk

00:06:48and some Chips Ahoy cookies.

00:06:51Mm-hmm.

00:06:52And then get in bed and wait for me.

00:06:55You got it, baby.

00:06:57I'm gonna stay home and watch Gumby

00:06:59and hold me the clown videos, baby, till my baby get back.

00:07:03Okay, baby.

00:07:05You build Mama some Twin Peaks on top of those Rocky Mountains.

00:07:12What Rocky Mountains?

00:07:14Those Rocky Mountains.

00:07:16Yeah, baby.

00:07:19You got it, Mama.

00:07:22And, Big, pick up the furniture.

00:07:32I love you.

00:07:35I love you.

00:07:40Oh, Lord, my baby and those weights.

00:07:42Oh, Lord, my baby and those weights.

00:07:44Oh, boy.

00:07:47Thought it was good in Las Vegas.

00:07:48Hey, you're going somewhere, huh?

00:07:49Like you're going the same thing to me.

00:07:51Oh, excuse me.

00:07:53Excuse me.

00:07:54Coming through.

00:07:55Coming through.

00:07:56Ouch!

00:07:57You hit me the after suitcase.

00:07:58Get to L.A.

00:08:00Where? Y'all going somewhere, huh?

00:08:03Looks like you're going the same thing to me.

00:08:08Oh, excuse me, excuse me. Coming through, coming through.

00:08:11Ouch! You hit me the empty suitcase!

00:08:14Can you hit my paperboard?

00:08:15Oh, ma'am, it was a mistake.

00:08:17Mama, I think we can take them.

00:08:20I'm sorry, ma'am. It really was a mistake.

00:08:22Why you messing with my kids?

00:08:24Yeah, we gonna get you. You see this fist?

00:08:26I'm not messing with your kids. Frankly, your kids got me scared for my life.

00:08:30Move your black ass down the aisle, then.

00:08:33Black ass a-moving.

00:08:35Hey, it looks like choo-choo.

00:08:37Hey, you damn breather!

00:08:41You take your hands off me, you understand?

00:08:44I didn't touch nothing. I didn't touch nothing.

00:08:47That's a very nice coat.

00:08:48Thank you. What you laughing?

00:08:51Oh, nothing. Took a fashion risk and lost.

00:08:56I didn't touch anything.

00:08:57I didn't touch anything.

00:08:58I didn't touch anything.

00:08:59I didn't touch anything.

00:09:08What's up, girl?

00:09:15Damn!

00:09:16Oh, shit.

00:09:28Damn.

00:09:29Damn.

00:09:30Damn it!

00:09:44I gots to get me some new forward gears.

00:10:01Move your asses.

00:10:08Cookie, you ready with my orders, Jack?

00:10:11What's the big hold on?

00:10:14Come on, hurry up.

00:10:18How you doing?

00:10:20Huh?

00:10:23Man, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, what's up, boy?

00:10:26I'm good, man. How you doing?

00:10:28Yo, man, how can I complain?

00:10:30Yo, man, I hear they got you emceeing at the club again tonight.

00:10:36Yo, man, how'd you do that?

00:10:37Hey, man, look, Ruby Lynn and Duke, you know I be busting it, man.

00:10:41Oh, oh, oh.

00:10:42Yeah, oh, oh, oh, yeah, I understand.

00:10:43Man, you got a spot on the show tonight, man.

00:10:45How you do that?

00:10:46I'll tell you something, bro.

00:10:47You don't get rich just by working hard, man.

00:10:50Mm.

00:10:50You got to be political, you know what I'm saying?

00:10:52Hey, man, what would you do after the gig tonight, man?

00:10:55Why?

00:10:55Look here, I'm hooking up with this killer sister, man.

00:10:58Get out of here.

00:10:59Yes, sir, buddy.

00:11:00Maybe we can do a double thing.

00:11:03Damn.

00:11:03I would love to money, but I can't.

00:11:06I might still be politicking and getting a little pussy in the process.

00:11:09Hey, hey, no, Terry, look, man, look, what you really need to do, man,

00:11:13Mm-hmm?

00:11:13Is get you a nice woman and settle down.

00:11:16Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, snap.

00:11:18Get out of here.

00:11:19Yo, I'm like seven fucking years old.

00:11:21You talking about settle down, man?

00:11:22No, I ain't having it.

00:11:24I ain't having it.

00:11:25Let me get out that career pussy, brother.

00:11:26It's gonna make your dick get real old, real fast.

00:11:30No, bro.

00:11:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:11:32You know why?

00:11:33Because I'm up on my current affairs, man.

00:11:35Yo, I do just like those old people in Russia, man.

00:11:38I keep dipping my dick in some yogurt.

00:11:40Come on, yeah, yeah, yogurt.

00:11:41Plain, small.

00:11:43Oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:11:45Homies, you got your orders yet?

00:11:47Nah.

00:11:54How's that?

00:11:55How's that?

00:11:56How's it going, baby?

00:11:56Oh, shit.

00:11:57You got it.

00:11:57I want it.

00:11:58Thank you, thank you, thank you.

00:12:10Thank you so much.

00:12:11You're awesome.

00:12:12Hi.

00:12:13I love you, girl.

00:12:15You funny that whooping.

00:12:16Oh.

00:12:17Hi.

00:12:17How you doing tonight?

00:12:19Oh, girl.

00:12:19I love you.

00:12:20I love you.

00:12:21I love you.

00:12:22I love you.

00:12:23I love you.

00:12:24I love you.

00:12:25I love you.

00:12:26I love you, honey.

00:12:27You got it, man.

00:12:27I ain't got no bed.

00:12:28All right, now.

00:12:29Hey, baby.

00:12:30Man, hey, hey.

00:12:32Why can't you park this thing?

00:12:34Yo, yo, yo, yo.

00:12:34Let's go back around one more time.

00:12:36I think somebody noticed me, boy.

00:12:37Oh, yeah, right.

00:12:39Man, whoop, whoop.

00:12:40Oh, girl, stop.

00:12:42Listen, I love y'all.

00:12:44I'm going to burn it up tonight.

00:12:45All right.

00:12:46Ooh, Aretha, what time does your show start?

00:12:4811 o'clock, 5 o'clock, it don't matter.

00:12:50All I need is a microphone, a spotlight, and some loud, sick people.

00:12:55Hey, baby.

00:12:56I'm out here, baby.

00:12:57I'm outpatient.

00:12:58I hope I love you or hot chocolate-fagation.

00:13:03When's the last time you had a haircut, anyway?

00:13:06Skull.

00:13:06Oh, my goodness, big boy, don't hurt yourself.

00:13:10You are Dookie's queen, baby.

00:13:13You can spoil me all you want to.

00:13:15I love doing it for you, darling.

00:13:18Just tell me what you need, when you need it, and where you need it.

00:13:22You know I will.

00:13:26Flowers always get to me.

00:13:28This is nothing.

00:13:28I'll buy you a rose garden, put a stage and a microphone in it.

00:13:31How's that?

00:13:31I can't wait.

00:13:33Don't make me wait too long.

00:13:35Uh-huh.

00:13:36That girl gonna make us rich with her fine self.

00:13:39Old cupcakes, you two pretties.

00:13:52What's up, man?

00:13:53How you doing?

00:13:54I'm sure I get my money.

00:13:58Kiss me.

00:13:59Are you crazy?

00:14:00Crazy for you.

00:14:02Mm.

00:14:03Mm.

00:14:04Mm.

00:14:05Mm.

00:14:06Mm-hmm.

00:14:06Ah.

00:14:07No, no.

00:14:08Lighten that up, girl.

00:14:09Uh-oh.

00:14:11Memory less.

00:14:12What?

00:14:13You're gonna get the money for your phone bill, right?

00:14:17Yeah.

00:14:17And you got a spot on the lineup next week, right?

00:14:21Yeah.

00:14:21And you just got a sudden urge to show some appreciation, right?

00:14:25Ha-ha.

00:14:25Mm-hmm.

00:14:26Mm-hmm.

00:14:27Mm-hmm.

00:14:28Mm-hmm.

00:14:29Mm-hmm.

00:14:30Mm-hmm.

00:14:30You want it?

00:14:31You want it?

00:14:31Yeah.

00:14:32Yeah.

00:14:32Oh, you're nasty.

00:14:33You're fine, too.

00:14:34Ah-ha.

00:14:35Yeah.

00:14:35Well, well, whatever.

00:14:36Look here.

00:14:37Well, you know the one big difference between me and your husband, right?

00:14:40Right?

00:14:40Is that I care.

00:14:42Mm-hmm.

00:14:43When did you talk to him?

00:14:45Mm-hmm.

00:14:46Last night.

00:14:47Oh, yeah?

00:14:47Yeah.

00:14:48I tied him down.

00:14:49Mm-hmm.

00:14:50We had sex.

00:14:51All right.

00:14:51And then I told him all your jokes.

00:14:53Oh.

00:14:54Did he laugh?

00:14:56Hmm.

00:14:58Hard to say.

00:14:59What?

00:14:59I was sitting on his face at the time.

00:15:01Oh, snap.

00:15:03Oh, you're so supportive.

00:15:05All right.

00:15:07Well, let's hold those for me.

00:15:09Well, do.

00:15:10All right, well, look, I got to go.

00:15:12I got to go.

00:15:12Oh, baby.

00:15:13Listen, listen, listen, listen.

00:15:14We got to stop meeting like this, all right?

00:15:16Okay.

00:15:17Oh, let me help you with that.

00:15:18Okay.

00:15:19All right?

00:15:20I'm out of here.

00:15:20Okay.

00:15:21All right.

00:15:32Oh, Mrs. Ciclare!

00:15:34What's up, man?

00:15:35What the fuck you doing in my linen closet, man?

00:15:37What the hell's going on in here?

00:15:52Something's happening in here.

00:15:54You stay your ass out in my closet, you hear me?

00:16:10Yeah.

00:16:11No, I'm getting ready.

00:16:12I'm going to go change and get ready for the show.

00:16:14I'm gone, man.

00:16:16Take a shower.

00:16:17Crazy little boy.

00:16:19What's he doing in my linen closet anyway?

00:16:28Jack, man, do I got time to go out and come back, man?

00:16:34I'm starving.

00:16:34Look, as long as you back by 1130.

00:16:37That what?

00:16:37Whatever it was, this shit don't start on time anyway.

00:16:40Look, by 1130, Antonio, be on time.

00:16:43Relax, baby.

00:16:44Where am I going?

00:16:44My girl's in bed by now.

00:16:47Yeah, that's because they're all in high school.

00:16:48What about my spot?

00:16:51Look, can we put this conversation on freeze for a minute?

00:16:53Oh, what, am I a little too acrocentric for you, brother?

00:16:56A little bit.

00:16:57Am I telling a little too much truth?

00:16:59Am I getting a little too close to home?

00:17:01You know, telling you a little too much truth?

00:17:03Something you don't really like to hear?

00:17:04Making your ears burn with righteousness?

00:17:06Is that the deal?

00:17:07Yeah, who you calling?

00:17:10Now, see, this is the thing.

00:17:11Man, Dookie do this every time, man.

00:17:13Every time I come to the club, man.

00:17:14Well, come on down tonight.

00:17:15We got a full house.

00:17:16Full house?

00:17:17Am I going to get some full house money?

00:17:18Uh, hello, Kimmy?

00:17:20Yeah, this is Jackie.

00:17:22How are you?

00:17:23Then you don't see me in a couple of weeks,

00:17:24think I ain't traded on.

00:17:25Where you been?

00:17:26I been out robbing liquor stores, brother,

00:17:28because I'm trying to make ends meet, you know?

00:17:29And it's hard to be funny when you running from the law.

00:17:31And, uh, we got a special seat just for you, all right?

00:17:34Okay, I'll see you in peace.

00:17:36Okay, bye-bye.

00:17:37Now, I'll tell you what the deal is, see?

00:17:39The deal is these Tom Club owners

00:17:42are scared of a brother like me

00:17:44because they know I tell the truth, right?

00:17:45What is Dookie afraid of, huh?

00:17:47That I might go up on stage

00:17:48and tell the people that he watering down drinks, huh?

00:17:51Is he afraid that I might go up on stage

00:17:53and tell the people they eating old chicken fried

00:17:55and last week's grease, huh?

00:17:57Is he afraid that I'm...

00:17:58Roach, Roach, Roach.

00:18:00I'll get you 12 minutes instead of 10, okay?

00:18:03All right then, my brother.

00:18:04As-salamu alaykum to you, you know what I'm saying?

00:18:06Yeah.

00:18:06Right?

00:18:07See, because, Jackie,

00:18:08the only way that we can rise, see, as a people,

00:18:11is through strength and independence, right?

00:18:13So if you could just loan me $12 to next Tuesday, man,

00:18:16I'll pay you back this time.

00:18:17I swear to God I will, man.

00:18:18Hey, Terry, come on, man, relax, man.

00:18:22Look, all you got to do is go out there and smile,

00:18:25don't open your mouth,

00:18:26and I tell everybody you're a politician.

00:18:28No, man, why you keep swiping me, man?

00:18:30Damn, I'm scared, is that all right?

00:18:33Look.

00:18:33Hey, Terry, Terry, come on, man.

00:18:35You got talent, man.

00:18:36Use it.

00:18:37Yeah, well, even the bus gets scared, all right?

00:18:39Let's do it, man.

00:18:42I just hope my damn teeth don't pull up.

00:18:46Now, I'm not trying.

00:18:47Checking out the sounds of my voice that they play.

00:18:51Yeah, what's that?

00:18:52I'm not sure, but it does something to you.

00:18:54What's that?

00:18:54It's jazz.

00:18:55It's chill.

00:18:55Let me school you.

00:18:56You can't be narrowed by it.

00:18:57If you give me a try, then you'll get to admit.

00:19:00Yeah, right, jazz is fly.

00:19:01No need to attack.

00:19:02My thoughts exactly.

00:19:04Give me a chance.

00:19:05This is all right, G.

00:19:06All right, all right, y'all, don't miss her affair.

00:19:08So tell me, you're jazz.

00:19:10You're happy to be blundy.

00:19:11Believe me, or rec-send, dirt-tap.

00:19:14Did you see the M.C.?

00:19:17Ooh, I think he is so fine.

00:19:19Yeah, he's fine, but I don't think he knows you exist.

00:19:23Oh, and I suppose he's been calling you every day, right?

00:19:26I only met the guy last week.

00:19:28Oh, all I need is one night to get him.

00:19:31Mm-hmm.

00:19:32Oh, Miss Thing, I know you're not challenging me.

00:19:35No, because we both know that if Jackie wanted some old, worn-out leather luggage with teeth, he had a whole week.

00:19:42Okay, fine.

00:19:44That's all right.

00:19:45Just wait until the end of the night, and we'll see who has Jackie's nose wide open.

00:19:50For what?

00:19:51Fresh air?

00:19:52Well, it's showtime.

00:19:58Let's get busy.

00:20:00Ladies and gentlemen, bro shots and honey dips, it's Saturday night at Dookie's Comedy Club, and you're in the house.

00:20:08And remember, policy is Dookie, no cameras, tape recorders, shower caps, or guns.

00:20:13So, with no further ado, let's get your hands together one time and welcome Dookie's own comedy emcee and star, my man, Mr. Jackie Bronson.

00:20:24All right, all right.

00:20:30Love you, love you.

00:20:32All right.

00:20:33Please, love me, Miss Jackson.

00:20:35All right, all right.

00:20:36Good-looking crowd this evening.

00:20:38Baby, baby, baby, you are the man.

00:20:41You've been working, honey.

00:20:43Yeah, looks like we got a couple of wild ones here this evening.

00:20:46How you doing, ladies?

00:20:47Come on, come on, baby.

00:20:49I'm here for you, baby, and you for me, honey.

00:20:53This is the Pussy Patrol.

00:20:56Come out with your pants down and your dick up.

00:21:02Come on, look here, ladies.

00:21:04We're going to slow this thing down to a pace that I can handle.

00:21:12And let's keep things rolling here this evening.

00:21:14What I'd like to do at this time is bring another upcoming comic to the stage.

00:21:19He's a real good friend of mine.

00:21:21He's only been working at Dookie's for a little over a month, all right?

00:21:24So, let's put our hands together.

00:21:25And welcome to the stage at this time, Mr. Terry Lombard.

00:21:29Terry Lombard.

00:21:30Come on, give it up for us.

00:21:31What's up, y'all?

00:21:38What's up?

00:21:42Yo, y'all.

00:21:44They say, you know, that I talk a lot about sex.

00:21:47I'm a 21-year-old black man.

00:21:48What the fuck else am I going to talk about?

00:21:51Archery?

00:21:52I don't know shit about archery.

00:21:54Don't know shit about comedy, either.

00:21:59I'm going to buy some jumpsuit.

00:22:00I got some clothes in your head.

00:22:05All right, all right, all right.

00:22:06Ain't that a bitch?

00:22:09Ain't that a bitch?

00:22:10I knew it.

00:22:11I knew it.

00:22:12I told Ruby Lynn, that little skinny, unfunny motherfucker wasn't shit.

00:22:16He make nobody laugh.

00:22:18Ain't that a bitch?

00:22:19Can't even make a laughing hyena laugh.

00:22:22Women say we ain't doing enough foreplay.

00:22:24I don't mind doing foreplay.

00:22:27But sometimes, you just want to get in and get out.

00:22:32You know what I'm talking about?

00:22:33Like one time a woman gonna get mad at me and shit.

00:22:35She lives an hour away.

00:22:37I called her on the phone.

00:22:38I said, I'm missing you, girl.

00:22:39She said, well, come on and get it.

00:22:41So I jumped in my car.

00:22:42I drove an hour to see this woman.

00:22:43Fall asleep behind the wheel.

00:22:45My pussy was keeping me up.

00:22:48You know what I'm saying?

00:22:49I said, I'm going to die.

00:22:50Let me get this shit for her.

00:22:52So I get over the motherfucker.

00:22:53I said, let's deal with this, girl.

00:22:55She got mad.

00:22:56She got mad.

00:22:57Hold up.

00:22:57Damn, what about the foreplay?

00:22:59That shit made me mad.

00:23:01Because I said, you could have handled that shit

00:23:02when I was on the freeway.

00:23:04You know what I'm saying?

00:23:05You don't need to drive that dude foreplay?

00:23:08Hell no.

00:23:09I love the way women get foreplay.

00:23:11Y'all give it the best.

00:23:12Most of you, anyway.

00:23:13I hate that amateur.

00:23:15Don't the fuck she do.

00:23:17You know, like kissing, pecking and shit.

00:23:23Get here and kiss around the motherfucker.

00:23:25You know.

00:23:26I love the way women get foreplay, because y'all are best at it.

00:23:54But guys, if you're going to do foreplay, guys, come on, listen.

00:23:57We've got to help these women out.

00:23:58We've got to lick our lips.

00:24:00You shouldn't have them hard-ass, crusty, fucked-up lips.

00:24:03Kissing on her body.

00:24:05You know.

00:24:07Talk about.

00:24:08Mwah.

00:24:09Mwah.

00:24:10Mwah.

00:24:11Mwah.

00:24:12Mwah.

00:24:13Mwah.

00:24:14Mwah.

00:24:15Mwah.

00:24:16Mwah.

00:24:17For some women, you've got to go to work.

00:24:19Talking about, mm-mm-mm.

00:24:20That ain't going to get it.

00:24:23That ain't going to get it.

00:24:25Because you know what you got to do.

00:24:26Right, bro?

00:24:27You've got to go down, down, down, right?

00:24:31Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me.

00:24:35You've got to go down, man.

00:24:37I don't mind doing that, I like that shit, y'all.

00:24:39I didn't know it was so good.

00:24:41I'm mad I just started yesterday.

00:24:45But I tell you, I tell you, if you do it,

00:24:47oh boy, they go off, man.

00:24:48If you do it right, they go off, they be,

00:24:50oh, oh, oh, that make you go off, you be like,

00:24:53oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:24:56And if you do it real good, they grab your head,

00:24:59and look at you, oh, oh, what is your name?

00:25:03I'm going to bring it on you.

00:25:05Thank you very much, God bless you.

00:25:07Terry Lombard.

00:25:08All right, yeah, Terry.

00:25:20Give it up for the brother, Terry Lombard.

00:25:26Boom, right on that.

00:25:32Thank you, man.

00:25:33You like this?

00:25:34I'm going to talk to your little man.

00:25:36I'm going to.

00:25:37What's up, boy?

00:25:38Yeah.

00:25:39Did you, uh?

00:25:42I saw the set.

00:25:43Oh, yeah?

00:25:44It was, hey, man, it was a good set, my brother.

00:25:46It was a, no, it was a great set.

00:25:47You're getting a lot stronger, man.

00:25:49Well, right there, E.T.

00:25:51Oh, man, Roach, what'd you think, man?

00:25:55I know you saw the set.

00:25:56What's up?

00:25:57You was all right, all right?

00:26:00But the sound system was kind of messed up.

00:26:02I heard a lot of static, right?

00:26:04That's because Dookie be buying that cheap equipment

00:26:06from the white man.

00:26:07What the fuck are you talking about?

00:26:09What is that for?

00:26:10You fightin'.

00:26:11Hi, y'all.

00:26:13How's everybody doing?

00:26:16I'm fine, but, uh, Roach was saying something

00:26:20about the sound system.

00:26:22Ah.

00:26:23Only that it's fabulous.

00:26:25That we love performing in this cheap.

00:26:28And we love having you, too, Roach.

00:26:31Terry.

00:26:32Terry, I need to talk to you for a minute.

00:26:35Y'all excuse us.

00:26:37Okay.

00:26:38All right.

00:26:39Come here.

00:26:40I'll tell you something.

00:26:41Come on, Terry.

00:26:42Right over here.

00:26:43Y'all gonna have to get out my doorway, now.

00:26:45Move.

00:26:46Let's move.

00:26:47Ah.

00:26:48Oh, Terry.

00:26:51You were fabulous tonight, yeah, baby.

00:26:53Oh, well, thank you, Roach.

00:26:54I'm glad you liked it.

00:26:55I did.

00:26:56But, look.

00:26:57That call with, uh, Dookie was a little too close.

00:27:00I keep tellin' you, Dookie don't care nothin' about me.

00:27:02And I keep tellin' you.

00:27:04What?

00:27:05What?

00:27:06I do.

00:27:08Oh, ho, ho, ho.

00:27:10Look, look, look.

00:27:11Look, look.

00:27:12You talk to him about gettin' me some more spots yet?

00:27:14Will I be seein' a little bit more of you?

00:27:16Hey, hey, hey.

00:27:17Spots?

00:27:18As much as you want.

00:27:19Ah!

00:27:20Well, in that case, I'll take care of those spots right now.

00:27:23Thank you, baby.

00:27:25Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:27:26Don't go too far now.

00:27:28Ha, ha, ha.

00:27:33Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:27:35Whoa.

00:27:37Ah!

00:27:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:27:42Ah, I feel like I'm gonna get that.

00:27:43No way.

00:27:44Hey.

00:27:45Hey.

00:27:46Hey.

00:27:47Oh, pinch me so I really know it's you.

00:28:05Well, I'm here and it's way past my bedtime.

00:28:21Oh.

00:28:22Yeah.

00:28:23Explain that.

00:28:24How can you explain feelings?

00:28:27Does it feel good?

00:28:30Yeah.

00:28:31Yeah.

00:28:32It feels real good to me, too.

00:28:39Jackie.

00:28:42Ah.

00:28:43You talking to me, Jackie?

00:28:46Mm-hmm.

00:28:47Yes, I am.

00:28:48I just wanted to tell you how much I love your work.

00:28:52And everything about you.

00:28:55Everything?

00:28:58Uh, look, look, let me, uh, let me introduce you to my date.

00:29:01Uh, this is Kimmy, and, uh...

00:29:03Maybe I should leave the two of you alone to talk.

00:29:05Oh, no, no, no, no.

00:29:06Uh, no.

00:29:07Look, look, I don't know this woman.

00:29:09I wanna be a comic.

00:29:11Look, uh, see, I'm here with my date, all right?

00:29:15And I have a show to do tonight, and if you won't work, you should talk to the owner.

00:29:20Well, if that's the way you want it, but I'm very, very persistent.

00:29:31If you want this cherry, come and get it.

00:29:37Yeah!

00:29:38Does this kind of thing happen all the time?

00:29:43Uh, no.

00:29:44No, no, no, no.

00:29:46Not at all.

00:29:47No, never.

00:29:48Uh, see, look, look, I hate cherries.

00:29:50I'll bet.

00:29:52No, no, Kimmy, seriously.

00:29:53Look, look, this never happens.

00:29:56Never.

00:29:57Arriving in Hollywood, all off for Hollywood.

00:30:14So, here we are in L.A.

00:30:16You gettin' up here?

00:30:17Yeah.

00:30:18Yeah.

00:30:19This is me.

00:30:20Hey, hey.

00:30:21Oh, yeah.

00:30:22On the west coast.

00:30:24Yo, Rob, killin' with your mother.

00:30:26L.A.

00:30:27City of angels, that's where I dwell.

00:30:29When I'm on the light, I do rock well.

00:30:31Anyway, what more can I say?

00:30:33Today, there's no time to...

00:30:34That's off.

00:30:35You want it?

00:30:36Never!

00:30:37Oh, I'm gonna get you later.

00:30:39Come on, that's curious.

00:30:40I outrage.

00:30:41I sleep sometimes.

00:30:42Come on.

00:30:43So, I'm takin' out MCs one by one alphabetical.

00:30:46Till it seems to be quite pathetic.

00:30:48But in that time, if they still spy them all the time.

00:30:51I hope they're covered by health no medical.

00:30:53See, it's quite unethical.

00:30:54Two bites runs from another...

00:30:56What's up, man?

00:30:57Oh, it's a little more.

00:30:58Oh, it's a little more.

00:30:59Oh, it's a little more.

00:31:00Oh, it's a little more.

00:31:01Oh, boy.

00:31:13Hello?

00:31:14Uh, hello?

00:31:15Hello?

00:31:16Can you speak up?

00:31:17I can't hear you.

00:31:18Uh, yeah.

00:31:19Can you hold on for a second?

00:31:20Too slick for Hollywood.

00:31:21Oh, boy.

00:31:22Car phones can be such a headache, can't they?

00:31:23Listen, uh, I'm drivin' past the, uh, bus station in Hollywood.

00:31:25And I was wonderin' if you could give me directions to the club, cause I'm supposed to audition tonight.

00:31:27Yes.

00:31:28Yes.

00:31:29Ah, yes.

00:31:30They'll melt for this.

00:31:31Come on, lady.

00:31:32Hey.

00:31:33Hello?

00:31:34Dookie's no-funny-ass comedy club.

00:31:35Dookie's no-funny-ass comedy club.

00:31:36Is my woman there?

00:31:37Dookie's no-funny-ass comedy club.

00:31:38Is my woman there?

00:31:39No.

00:31:40No.

00:31:41No.

00:31:42No.

00:31:43No.

00:31:44No.

00:31:45No.

00:31:46Dookie's no-funny-ass comedy club.

00:31:48Is my woman there?

00:31:49Yo, who?

00:31:50Come on, man.

00:31:51Don't play with me.

00:31:52You know who she is.

00:31:53Put her on the phone.

00:31:54Hello, Dookie's no-funny-ass comedy club.

00:32:03Is her woman there?

00:32:05Yo, who?

00:32:06Come on, man.

00:32:07Don't play with me.

00:32:08You know who she is.

00:32:09Put her on the phone.

00:32:10I don't know who she is.

00:32:11It's 400 people down here, and 350 of them is ugly.

00:32:14Is she ugly?

00:32:15Homie, I don't play that.

00:32:16Put my woman on the phone right now, Pa.

00:32:18This is some prank-ass call.

00:32:21Why you do that?

00:32:23You know black people have high blood pressure.

00:32:25Now why you wanna do that, piss me off?

00:32:28I'd like for you to put your hands together,

00:32:30and please welcome all the way from Oakland, California,

00:32:33ladies and gentlemen, Antonio!

00:32:35Antonio!

00:32:36Antonio!

00:32:53How you doing?

00:32:55All right.

00:32:56No wild women sitting over there.

00:32:57I always do wild women in the club.

00:32:58This is the kind of women you take to a really nice restaurant,

00:32:59and they walk in like this.

00:33:00They got nachos in here.

00:33:01I'll give me some nachos.

00:33:02Give me some nachos.

00:33:03It's good to see some nice smiling women though.

00:33:04I went out to a club last night,

00:33:05asked this woman to dance.

00:33:06It was real nice.

00:33:07I said, excuse me, would you like to dance?

00:33:08He said, no.

00:33:09No, stupid.

00:33:10I'm looking for somebody to tweet me off my feet.

00:33:11Can you tweet me off my feet?

00:33:12Yeah, bitch.

00:33:13I said, DJ, you want to play Get on Up for her please?

00:33:14You have a new attitude?

00:33:15I couldn't get no sleep.

00:33:16My roommate, every time he make love to his girlfriend,

00:33:18I got all no Whats in here.

00:33:19I preparation for a new hat to do want to throw it.

00:33:20Ticket.

00:33:21Give me some nachos.

00:33:22Give me some nachos.

00:33:23It's good to see some nice smiling women though.

00:33:24I went out to a club last night,

00:33:25asked this woman to dance.

00:33:26He was real nice.

00:33:27I said, excuse me, would you like to dance?

00:33:28He said, no.

00:33:30No stupid,

00:33:31I'm looking for somebody take me off my feet.

00:33:33Can you tweet me off my feet?

00:33:34Yeah bitch.

00:33:35I said, DJ, and you wanna play Il up for her please?

00:33:36After that play, I got a new attitude.

00:33:38My eyes already. I couldn't get no sleep.

00:33:40My roommate, every time he make love to his girlfriend,

00:33:43I swear she sounds just like an ambulance.

00:33:45I'm serious. He's like,

00:33:46Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:33:54Shit, I looked out the window. Cars had pulled over it.

00:33:57I hear it. I just don't see it. I don't know.

00:34:02You know what the scariest thing when you're making love is?

00:34:05I'm almost there.

00:34:06When a woman says that, it's like, oh, shit.

00:34:08That means you know you got two more hours to go.

00:34:10Woman like, that's it, I'm almost there, keep going faster, that's it, baby, faster, that's it, come on, that's it, I'm almost there, come on, that's it, faster, come on, baby, that's it, go, go, baby, this is it, here it is, this is it, here it is, here it is, no, that's not it, it's not.

00:34:20Shit, man, the fuck are you going, shit?

00:34:23I'm going to the kitchen, get me some Gatorade, it's gonna kill my ass in here.

00:34:26You wait for that oxygen mask to drop down.

00:34:28Shh, fuck it.

00:34:31Women complain, always complain, and men fall asleep after they make love, don't you ladies, just complain that?

00:34:36Ladies, that's a compliment to you when men fall asleep after they make love, it is, think about it, if you made love to your man, he went out and washed his truck, something wrong.

00:34:45Go out and wash the truck now, baby, thank you.

00:34:49Whatever you do, never call a woman a bitch, never call a black woman a bitch, I said it once, called my ex-girlfriend a bitch, I didn't say it to her face, I wasn't that man enough, I mumbled it, and she picked it up with that woman hearing, I was in the basement, I said, shut up, bitch.

00:35:03She started to do the extra stuff, it's like, what the fuck did you call me, motherfucker?

00:35:12Thank you, guys.

00:35:18All right, pick up these wings.

00:35:23Here you go, darling.

00:35:24Mm, thank you.

00:35:25You know something, I just had a revelation.

00:35:28What about if people ate people like we eat animals?

00:35:32I think that'd be terrible.

00:35:34Yeah.

00:35:36Because animals love their children like we love our children.

00:35:39I think they love them a little more because they're not on welfare.

00:35:42I think that'd be a bitch if we go into a nightclub and you'd ask the waiter, say, pardon me, waiter, can I have some titty and rice?

00:35:49A little extra order titty?

00:35:52Or you'd go to a buffet, be a big nigga laying on the table with potatoes and grains all around his ass.

00:35:59I'd probably be a vegetarian.

00:36:01You and me both.

00:36:03Yeah, but it would be bad, though, when they went to the supermarket.

00:36:07They said, pardon me, butcher, can I have one of those pussies over there in the corner?

00:36:11Yes, this one right here.

00:36:13No, don't wrap it up.

00:36:14I'll eat it here.

00:36:15Rudy!

00:36:16Hey, hey, you all stepping up on them all today?

00:36:18You know hard people can get about their food.

00:36:20There you go.

00:36:22Listen, our people, you know what the fuck do you think I am, Chinese?

00:36:27Rudy Ray, I swear, if you wasn't my mama's second cousin, you'd be out of here.

00:36:32You ought to be glad you got a job.

00:36:34No, I was making more money when I was robbing and stealing, and plus the hour was shorter.

00:36:39And let me tell you something, I never did like your mama and all your old dog-ass cousins.

00:36:42As a matter of fact, I don't even think I'm no kidding to y'all.

00:36:45I don't even look like y'all.

00:36:46And you got me in this old ragged-ass kitchen.

00:36:49I'm up to my ass in grease.

00:36:51I done fucked up my last pair of shoes.

00:36:54There's shit all around here.

00:36:55Y'all won't clean up a goddamn thing.

00:36:56Shoes!

00:36:57Cook muscle shoes like you got shoes.

00:36:58You ain't got but one pack.

00:37:00Them raggedy at Goodwill's you got on your feet.

00:37:03Well, the food show is better since Rudy Ray got here.

00:37:05Yeah, and I better get a raise, too, because that's another thing.

00:37:07If I don't get a raise, I'm gonna raise my ass on out of here, too.

00:37:11Ooh, I take pride in my kitchen.

00:37:15And the rule is, stray cats can't eat in here.

00:37:19Stray cats, girl, you better ask Dookie who I am.

00:37:21You about to work on my nerves, yeah, Aretha.

00:37:23I'm sick and tired of Dookie making exceptions for you.

00:37:24I'm not gonna have that.

00:37:25Wait, wait, wait a minute.

00:37:26Dookie ain't got to make no exceptions for me.

00:37:28He knows that.

00:37:29Hmm.

00:37:30He's the only reason I'm here.

00:37:31Honor, what you talking about now?

00:37:33Just what I said.

00:37:34I'm here because of what I do for Dookie and what Dookie does for me.

00:37:37And what we do to and for each other, we do it real good.

00:37:40You get my parents?

00:37:41You know what?

00:37:44I never thought you was funny till just now.

00:37:48But let me tell you one damn thing.

00:37:50There ain't but one woman in this world who mean a damn thing to Dookie.

00:37:54One woman.

00:37:55You got that?

00:37:56Yeah, the one woman, the woman who makes the money and the heifer who spends it.

00:38:01See, you're gonna make me hurt you.

00:38:03Don't make me hurt you.

00:38:04Get the hell out of my kitchen right now.

00:38:06Listen, why don't you water your ass on out the front and look in that box.

00:38:10And if my picture is still there and yours not, I will eat anywhere I want to.

00:38:15I will eat on the stage if I feel like it.

00:38:17Now, you better get out of my face while I'm trying to finish off my chicken bones.

00:38:20Oh, no, you didn't say that.

00:38:21Oh, yes, I did.

00:38:22Mm-hmm.

00:38:23Mm-hmm.

00:38:24You ain't heard the last word on this, you little barbill witch, you prehistoric hoe.

00:38:28Oh, I don't have to take this.

00:38:29I own this place.

00:38:30You own an attitude.

00:38:32Girl, you almost made me sweat.

00:38:34Where's Dookie?

00:38:35You need some sweat.

00:38:36Go get Dookie.

00:38:37Where's Dookie?

00:38:38Where's Dookie?

00:38:39Where's Dookie?

00:38:40Where's Dookie?

00:38:41Where's Dookie?

00:38:42That is the problem with these ugly people around here.

00:38:44They're causing all this problem.

00:38:45Cause they mad cause they ugly.

00:38:47It ought to be a law against two ugly people fucking.

00:38:50Cause they'll bring another ugly person in the world.

00:38:53And if you don't believe me, follow the ugly person home.

00:38:56Somebody ugly gonna open the door.

00:38:58We either want nobody open the door because don't nobody wanna live with an ugly motherfucker.

00:39:03Yes!

00:39:04You gonna give me some money and you gonna give me more time.

00:39:13Who is it?

00:39:16Terry.

00:39:17Come in.

00:39:18Hey, uh.

00:39:19Oh!

00:39:20Terry, come here!

00:39:22Look, look, I didn't do nothing, Mr. Sinclair, alright?

00:39:26I just came in here to get the, um, the money for my phone, that's all.

00:39:29You sure I don't have no reason to shoot your little narrow black ass off?

00:39:32Listen, man!

00:39:33I didn't do nothing!

00:39:34Oh!

00:39:35I don't understand.

00:39:36What's with the gun, anyway?

00:39:37It's my judge and my jury.

00:39:39Somebody might try to rob me.

00:39:40Somebody might try to break in my house.

00:39:43I just might have to shoot somebody for trying to steal my wife against her will.

00:39:48Oh!

00:39:49Oh, Phil!

00:39:50Why, man?

00:39:51Why?

00:39:52I don't...

00:39:53I don't...

00:39:54Oh, Phil!

00:39:55Why, man?

00:39:56Why?

00:39:57I don't...

00:39:58Man, I ain't dead.

00:39:59I'm just cleaning the motherfucker, boy!

00:40:00Oh, Lord!

00:40:01Somebody give me the number for 911!

00:40:02Rub it in!

00:40:03Rub it in!

00:40:04Shut up!

00:40:05Everything's alright in here.

00:40:06Yeah, yeah, Mr. Sinclair, everything is alright.

00:40:07Everything...

00:40:08That's my boy.

00:40:09Everything is alright, okay?

00:40:10Oh, okay.

00:40:11You didn't try to kill him.

00:40:12Terry's alright with me.

00:40:13Oh, alright.

00:40:14All right, alright.

00:40:15Here.

00:40:16Ask him for some more spots.

00:40:30Um, Mr. Sinclair, you think I could get some more spots?

00:40:34Now, Rub the Lee mentioned that.

00:40:36Yeah.

00:40:37You can have some more spots.

00:40:38You were funny tonight.

00:40:40And, frankly, I haven't seen my wife this excited about anybody in a long time.

00:40:46Really? Wow.

00:40:48Mm-hmm. Long, long, long time.

00:40:53Shit had me thinking for a while.

00:40:56Um, um, thank you for the spots. I ain't gonna lie.

00:41:00Thank you so much, um, Ms. Sinclair.

00:41:02Um, I'll talk to you later about the phone money, remember?

00:41:05Um, yo, bang! Got you.

00:41:08Oh, Tara, before you leave, I want you to check with me,

00:41:11because I'd like to give you some notes on your routine.

00:41:14Um, well, I'm gonna watch some more comics and I'll be down in the club.

00:41:17Okay. Bang!

00:41:20Come on, man. Yo, let's do some drinks.

00:41:22Nah. Bye now.

00:41:24Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:41:32Oh.

00:41:34Oh.

00:41:36Whew.

00:41:37Got those spots.

00:41:39Rubalien, what the hell's going on with you, that little young boy?

00:41:41Oh, Duke, it be real for a minute.

00:41:42I am real.

00:41:43Real interesting to find out what the hell's going on around here!

00:41:44Ah, ha, ha, ha!

00:41:45You wanna know what's going on?

00:41:46You wanna know what's going on?

00:41:47What's going on is I'm sick and tired of that silly slut with her name on the outside

00:41:49of our building disrespecting me.

00:41:50That's what's going on.

00:41:51What the hell are you talking about?

00:41:52What's going on? You want to know what's going on?

00:41:54What's going on is I'm sick and tired of that silly slut with her name

00:41:57on the outside of our building disrespecting me.

00:42:00That's what's going on.

00:42:02What the hell are you talking about?

00:42:03I'm talking about Aretha.

00:42:04Now you cuss her ass out, let her know who I am around here

00:42:07before I have to put a fix on both of y'all.

00:42:11Baby, it ain't that easy.

00:42:14She's our castro.

00:42:15Dookie, you ought to never let another woman get control over your mind.

00:42:18Unless, unless, uh-oh.

00:42:22Uh-oh. Dookie, are you blanking Aretha?

00:42:27No. It's sickly business.

00:42:30Well, then, then I...

00:42:32If it makes you feel better, Ribley, I'll go tell Aretha and talk to her.

00:42:36All right? I'll talk to her.

00:42:37Well, I'm glad you see it my way.

00:42:39I don't see it your way.

00:42:43Dang dookie.

00:42:46Aretha don't have no claps.

00:42:49The people...

00:42:50Aretha, can I talk to her a minute?

00:43:00That's my Mr. Boss, ma'am.

00:43:03Now, Aretha, I hate to bring this up.

00:43:05Uh-oh. I never saw this space before.

00:43:07It's Ruby Land.

00:43:08Oh, come on. Now, look. You've got to be married to her.

00:43:10But you tell that ingrown toenail's yours to stay away from me.

00:43:13Well, how can I tell her to stay away? She's my wife.

00:43:15Ruby Land owns half of everything I own, including this club.

00:43:18Well, excuse me, but old Thunderbond's does not own half of me.

00:43:21I am here for you and you only.

00:43:23For me?

00:43:24Only me?

00:43:25What are you talking about?

00:43:27Just what I said.

00:43:28Now, you know, we met two years ago. It was like magic.

00:43:31I knew we were going to be together for a long, long time.

00:43:33You did? Long time. I mean, long, long time.

00:43:36How did you know, baby?

00:43:38Look, I know it's been hard.

00:43:39It still is.

00:43:41But it's been sweet, and you've been real good to me under the circumstances.

00:43:45I've been as good as I could.

00:43:47Dookie, I mean, we're not married, but we're partners.

00:43:51Like, you and Ruby Land are tied, tied, tied together.

00:43:54But me and you, we're not tied.

00:43:56What kind of tied?

00:43:57What the hell are you talking about? You're trying to mess with my head.

00:43:59Look, you can have more than one partner.

00:44:01If one partner does a thing better than another partner does a thing.

00:44:06Oh, yeah. I understand that. I dig that. Uh-huh.

00:44:09Dookie, you've always known what I like.

00:44:12A man. A real strong man.

00:44:16Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. You talking about me now, baby?

00:44:19Now, you just think about me and you and our bank accounts.

00:44:23We are going to grow rich and old together.

00:44:26Yes, we are.

00:44:27Ruby Land will survive.

00:44:28What? Sure she will.

00:44:30You put her out of your mind and concentrate on our success.

00:44:34Dookie, you are the man, the main man.

00:44:37You got that? The man.

00:44:39Yes, I'm the man.

00:44:41I'm the man.

00:44:42I feel it. I feel it all through my bones.

00:44:45I'm the man. I tell you what, you take care of that being funny thing,

00:44:47and I take care of the rest.

00:44:49I'm the man.

00:44:50I feel like a black John Wayne.

00:44:52Go get him, cowboy.

00:44:54I mean, cowman.

00:44:58Cowman.

00:44:58You mean you don't want me no more?

00:45:04Uh-uh. I'm out here cheating on my husband, and now you going to talk some amnesia shit?

00:45:08Oh, no. Uh-uh.

00:45:09What's wrong with you?

00:45:11Roo, roo, roo, roo.

00:45:12Don't make me get physical on you, huh?

00:45:14That's exactly what I want, baby.

00:45:17Whoa.

00:45:18But you're going to live up to your end of this bargain, Mr. Love Machine.

00:45:22Love?

00:45:23Who the fuck said anything about love?

00:45:26Nah. Nah. That was business.

00:45:29Let's see. Now, he shot James because he said I saw him three times a week.

00:45:35Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:45:36Who's James?

00:45:37My late hairdresser.

00:45:39Ah! Gotcha.

00:45:42Girl, you know I'm just playing with you.

00:45:44Oh, you just playing with me.

00:45:46Yeah.

00:45:48Yeah, but you know, sometimes it just, well, it just gets a little noisy in there.

00:45:52I don't mind the noise.

00:45:54It's those two women.

00:45:56Oh, Kimmy, come on now.

00:45:57Forget about them.

00:46:00Hey, look.

00:46:01I don't know them.

00:46:02I don't like them.

00:46:03And I hope they never show up again.

00:46:06Hmm?

00:46:08Hey, you believe me, don't you?

00:46:10Hmm?

00:46:12Hmm?

00:46:14Don't you have to get back inside for the show?

00:46:19Um, no, no, no, not for another ten minutes.

00:46:22Look, why don't we, uh, sit in the car, okay?

00:46:25Okay.

00:46:26All right?

00:46:26Okay.

00:46:27Okay.

00:46:28Yeah, we can sit in the car and, uh, maybe we can listen to some music and then look at the stars.

00:46:35Or, uh, maybe I can, uh, just inhale some more of that killer perfume of yours, huh?

00:46:48Mm.

00:46:50Mm.

00:46:51Mm.

00:46:52Yeah.

00:46:52Ah.

00:46:54Ah.

00:46:55Ah.

00:46:56Mm.

00:46:59Mm.

00:47:00Mm.

00:47:01Mm.

00:47:02Mm.

00:47:04Yes.

00:47:05Ah.

00:47:06You look so silly.

00:47:07Oh, come on.

00:47:09I mean, look, you call it silly, call it anything you like, but it's you.

00:47:13Girl, just turn me on Girl, I just can't wait

00:47:36Give me some of that, baby!

00:47:39Come on, baby, give me some of that.

00:47:43Come on, don't wrap me up.

00:47:46He's coming to get busy with me now.

00:47:49Baby, open the door.

00:47:51Baby, get out of this car.

00:47:53Let's get busy, baby.

00:47:55Ooh, baby, come on.

00:47:57I can rough beat me, baby.

00:47:59Look at her.

00:48:00Jackie, Jackie, look at her.

00:48:04Don't look at her.

00:48:06Jackie, Jackie, come on now.

00:48:09Look, baby.

00:48:11Get around.

00:48:12Uh, uh, uh.

00:48:14What's up?

00:48:15Yeah, what's up?

00:48:16What's up?

00:48:17I said you gotta talk to the brothers now, you know, all that hand action, you know.

00:48:19What's happened, man?

00:48:20You know, because we went to my crib, right?

00:48:22Then we came back, you know what I'm saying?

00:48:23Because after she came to me, right, she was drinking, right?

00:48:25I know what she was, she was drunk, right?

00:48:27Come on, what you talking about, man?

00:48:29You know, I went to my crib, back to your crib, back to my crib, right?

00:48:31Do we have these other crib, you know?

00:48:32What you saying, you know?

00:48:33Right?

00:48:34Well, it sounds like they're bringing in planes.

00:48:36I know after a hard day of being black, I'm poop.

00:48:41Baby, let's just be Lithuanian tonight, because, uh, my arms are sore.

00:48:50Yeah, this is a nice club, you know, got it fixed up real nice, you know.

00:48:55Used to be a chitlin factory.

00:48:57Uh, you know, I like a club with mirrors, man.

00:49:01That's where they should have mirrors in a club, you know.

00:49:03They shouldn't have mirrors.

00:49:04I don't get this.

00:49:05People who have mirrors in their bedroom, right?

00:49:07So they can watch themselves having sex.

00:49:10What the hell is that?

00:49:11Are you so vain that you got to check yourself out while you're here like...

00:49:18Help!

00:49:27I feel they good!

00:49:30Man, so, glad to be here at Dookie's.

00:49:34I don't know why a hella grown man would name himself Dookie.

00:49:38You know, I guess somebody told her, hey, man, you full of shit.

00:49:46Oh, shit.

00:49:47Just call me Dookie.

00:49:50This is my white turd wiener.

00:49:51Yeah, I like this, though.

00:49:52I like the fact they got a black club, black folks trying to get it going on with each other.

00:50:03You know.

00:50:04You know, that's a good thing, right?

00:50:05You see, because you don't see too many positive images of black people, right?

00:50:08Especially on TV.

00:50:09Only time you get to see black folks on TV is, like, on the 10 o'clock news.

00:50:13You know, walking like this.

00:50:16To the squad cop.

00:50:19I hate that, man.

00:50:20The thing I hate is that then the news truck will come to the scene of the crime

00:50:24to interview people to find out what happened, right?

00:50:27And it'll be, like, plenty of well-dressed, well-spoken black folks standing around,

00:50:32you know, waiting to tell the story.

00:50:34They always go right past them.

00:50:37Straight to the brother with the pink rollers in his head.

00:50:41Yeah, I saw the whole thing, right?

00:50:43You know, it happened right in front of my kids, you know.

00:50:45Well, I was in bed when it happened, right?

00:50:48With my woman.

00:50:49You know, we was getting witted, right?

00:50:51So, I'm in bed with my woman.

00:50:53We getting witted.

00:50:54I'm on top.

00:50:56And she starts saying, I said, ask her.

00:50:59Ask her.

00:51:00And I start laughing.

00:51:01That just ain't all, baby.

00:51:02I ain't going that fast.

00:51:10Does he have another woman?

00:51:12No.

00:51:14Two.

00:51:16Two?

00:51:18Honey.

00:51:20Don't waste your time.

00:51:21No man's worth that much trouble.

00:51:23He doesn't really know them.

00:51:25Does he care about you?

00:51:29He says he does.

00:51:30Well, now, wait.

00:51:31If he cares about you, and you care about him, and he doesn't know them?

00:51:36Girl, you better get ready to compete.

00:51:40Compete?

00:51:41What do you mean?

00:51:42You're a beautiful sister.

00:51:44Put it to good use for yourself.

00:51:46Here, let me show you.

00:51:47Let me stress start with this.

00:51:49Ooh, this will never do.

00:51:50Never do.

00:51:53Oh, man.

00:51:54What am I going to do?

00:51:59Son, let your heart lead the way.

00:52:04Let me tell you something, honey.

00:52:06Your dick needs daily exercise and nightly, too.

00:52:10A stiff dick ain't got no conscience.

00:52:13Your dick got a mind of its own.

00:52:15Oh.

00:52:17Oh.

00:52:18So, uh, Dookies, I love this club, it's a nice club, you know, it's not the best audience

00:52:47in the world, though, is the Apollo Theater in Harlem.

00:52:54If you don't get booed off, you get booed off, you'll be like, they ain't shitting.

00:53:01The Apollo ain't shitting, man, no, no, wait, no, no, wait, you think I'm mad because they

00:53:05booed me off?

00:53:07You think that, Bobby?

00:53:08Oh, wait, no, no, let me tell you something.

00:53:10I was doing comedy long before the Apollo, okay?

00:53:13And I'll be doing comedy long after the Apollo mysteriously burns down.

00:53:27So I see, but I see a lot of beautiful black African sisters in the audience.

00:53:32You started moving when I said that, huh?

00:53:34That's right, I said, I want a black woman, a beautiful black African princess with something

00:53:40going on in her head, something in her mind, you know, plus a big-ass booty.

00:53:48Not that big, though.

00:53:52Tell me how to get to Dookies Comedy Club.

00:53:56Dookies?

00:53:56Dookies.

00:53:57Yes, yes, it's about two miles from here.

00:54:00Dookies.

00:54:00I wouldn't try to walk there if I was you.

00:54:02It's by Newby's.

00:54:03Newby's place.

00:54:04They have chicken there, very good chicken.

00:54:06You go out the driveway, you take your second right, and then you come to a shopping center.

00:54:12It's about two miles from here.

00:54:13I wouldn't try to walk it if I was you in this neighborhood, in that outfit.

00:54:17You understand?

00:54:18Then you come to a recreation center, and then you come to a rehabilitation center.

00:54:24Then there's a church.

00:54:25You take a right, your third left.

00:54:28You go about three miles.

00:54:29If you don't see it, then you have obviously passed the motherfucker.

00:54:35Clarity ain't one of your finer points.

00:54:46Try it till you smell the chicken.

00:54:54Compliments of the gentleman over there.

00:54:56Girl, it's a cold beer, and you know it ain't nothing like Dookie's deep-fried chicken.

00:55:10Thanks.

00:55:11What did you do to yourself?

00:55:24Not much.

00:55:26No, no, no.

00:55:26Yes, you did.

00:55:27You want something to eat?

00:55:31Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:55:32Look, I thought you said you didn't eat greasy food.

00:55:35Well, you see that nice man right over there.

00:55:39He sent it to me.

00:55:40Look, I don't like this.

00:55:45How do you think those two pesses made me feel?

00:55:47Kimmy, come on.

00:55:48Now, look, I told you I didn't even know them.

00:55:51So?

00:55:51I don't know wingman.

00:55:53Kimmy, look.

00:55:54This is our first date, and I wanted it to be something special, and now it's turning into some date from hell.

00:56:03Wingman, yes.

00:56:07I'd like to be with my husband and I.

00:56:12Just want to take that lady while she has another lady's brother.

00:56:14Yeah, I appreciate it, brother.

00:56:15One brother up another brother.

00:56:17You know how it is.

00:56:19Yeah.

00:56:19Everything be all right, but I'll always be around you.

00:56:23Have a nice day.

00:56:25Thanks, brother.

00:56:26Bye.

00:56:27Bye.

00:56:27Yeah, boy.

00:56:49You got my cookies.

00:57:02Got plenty of cookies.

00:57:04Chips.

00:57:05Chips.

00:57:05Chips horns.

00:57:06You got plenty of cookies over there.

00:57:08You go look.

00:57:08Pay me.

00:57:09I know one trouble.

00:57:09Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

00:57:15Come on, y'all.

00:57:16Come on.

00:57:16Hello, Dookie's Comedy Club.

00:57:28Catch me, D'Aretha.

00:57:29Man, D'Aretha can't come to the phone right now.

00:57:31She's busy.

00:57:32Busy?

00:57:33With whom?

00:57:34With about 400 people.

00:57:35And they're having a good time.

00:57:37Are you one of them?

00:57:39Yep.

00:57:40And she's a lot of fun, too.

00:57:42Oh, really, huh?

00:57:43What's your name?

00:57:44Who is this?

00:57:45This is bad.

00:57:46We're the jealous man straight out of Compton.

00:57:48That's who this is.

00:57:50Shit.

00:57:52Shit.

00:57:54Ah!

00:57:55Ah!

00:57:56Ah!

00:58:04Your babysitter.

00:58:05Just imagine if I was your babysitter.

00:58:09People used to trust me with their children.

00:58:11But see, I understood, because I had a mother.

00:58:13Everybody here have mothers, even if you don't claim them.

00:58:17You know them mothers that give you that nook,

00:58:19stop you in the dead middle of your track.

00:58:22Right on you, Bobby.

00:58:25And the ones that really get upset and can't finish the sentence when they get reamed.

00:58:28Don't let me.

00:58:29I bet your girl up and them threats they give you.

00:58:31I will beat you into bad health.

00:58:32I will beat you like you stole something.

00:58:33I will beat all the black off you.

00:58:34Now, in my case, they were doing some serious beating.

00:58:37Y'all remember that dance you made up, right?

00:58:38Y'all remember that dance you made up, right?

00:58:39Y'all remember the dance you made up when your mama was tearing them little legs up, right?

00:58:41Yeah.

00:58:42And I will beat you like you stole something.

00:58:45I will beat all the black off you.

00:58:47Now, in my case, they were doing some serious beating.

00:58:49Y'all remember that dance you made up, right?

00:58:51Y'all remember the dance you made up when your mama was tearing them little legs up, right?

00:58:54Yeah.

00:58:55Y'all remember that dance.

00:58:56Okay, mama.

00:58:57Okay, mama.

00:58:58You didn't want her to get that belt on your leg.

00:59:01And y'all all got that retarded crap.

00:59:04Lost your mind.

00:59:10Lost all power of speech after she beat that butt.

00:59:17We need to do some more butt beating these days.

00:59:20You know what I'm saying?

00:59:22Change somebody's mind.

00:59:24You know, because these kids in our days, you know, they be going crazy.

00:59:28That's right.

00:59:29They need to be raised by my mama now.

00:59:32There is power in the booty.

00:59:37That's right.

00:59:38The booty will set you free.

00:59:41Now, you just remember that.

00:59:45Talk about that booty.

00:59:47You have power in your booty.

00:59:49Just don't misuse the power, ladies and gentlemen.

00:59:53Thank you so much.

00:59:54I was looking for some new fabric for my drapes.

01:00:06Please.

01:00:07I am so glad that you brothers and sisters seem to have such a good time tonight.

01:00:21And now we would like to thank the owner of the club, the man, Dukie Sinclair.

01:00:26Dukie Sinclair.

01:00:27And last but not least, the dumpy, frumpy, little white movie land.

01:00:41Bye.

01:00:42Hello, my sisters.

01:00:43No, no, no, no.

01:00:44No, no, no, no.

01:00:45My sisters.

01:00:46I'm going to give y'all some African names.

01:00:47I'm going to call you Cleopatra and you Bonita.

01:00:48So now I know y'all are here to see me, right?

01:00:49Normally that'd be true, brother, but I believe they looking for a man, am I right?

01:00:50Yeah, that's right.

01:00:51We're looking for Jackie.

01:00:52Um, is there anything I could do for you?

01:00:53Jackie?

01:00:54Now, he's fine.

01:00:55Bye.

01:00:56Bye.

01:00:57Bye.

01:00:58Bye.

01:00:59Bye.

01:01:00Bye.

01:01:01Bye.

01:01:02Bye.

01:01:03Bye.

01:01:04Bye.

01:01:05Bye.

01:01:06Bye.

01:01:07Bye.

01:01:08Bye.

01:01:09Bye.

01:01:10Bye.

01:01:11Bye.

01:01:12Bye.

01:01:13Bye.

01:01:14Bye.

01:01:15Bye.

01:01:16Bye.

01:01:17Bye.

01:01:18Bye.

01:01:19Bye.

01:01:20Bye.

01:01:21Bye.

01:01:22Bye.

01:01:23Bye.

01:01:24Bye.

01:01:25Bye.

01:01:26Bye.

01:01:27Bye.

01:01:28Bye.

01:01:29Bye.

01:01:30Bye.

01:01:31Bye.

01:01:32Bye.

01:01:33Bye.

01:01:34Bye.

01:01:35Bye.

01:01:36Bye.

01:01:37Bye.

01:01:38Bye.

01:01:39Bye.

01:01:40Bye.

01:01:41Bye.

01:01:42Bye.

01:01:43Bye.

01:01:44Bye.

01:01:45Bye.

01:01:46Bye.

01:01:47Bye.

01:01:48Bye.

01:01:49the entrepreneur the next time you want to talk to me you can just call about them false lawyers

01:01:54because i'm not going to be a other woman

01:01:59no more busting them razor bumps

01:02:03no more chickens out thanksgiving and no more heads while you're watching them in vogue videos

01:02:11she stays oh all right i'm washing my hands of this you can forget you ever know me

01:02:18just forget i have existed but you better not forget my alimony jack

01:02:28there's no good right to slam it nothing ain't a second kept wearing

01:02:32nuts you ain't out looking down

01:02:37give me some ice

01:02:41where's carrie i haven't seen him maybe he's in a dressing room

01:02:45what do you see in brother jackie it's so romantic who is

01:02:53stukey's wife man i gotta answer the door

01:02:57roach i need to talk to terry alone all right that's cool because uh we were just leaving

01:03:04huh huh let me ask you huh wasn't it listen ruby lynn this is no time listen

01:03:13damn girl

01:03:18shit terry i'm leaving dookie what for you

01:03:25kwami you

01:03:25oh hi jackie oh uh mrs sinclair you know mrs sinclair i was just telling terry you know if

01:03:35anyone could teach him the politics of this business it would have to be you yeah i'm

01:03:40teaching him all right oh yes and well you're doing a great job too yes yeah terry you devil you

01:03:47are you

01:03:49my man

01:03:49my mind

01:03:52ain't no doubt about it

01:03:55yo what are you doing

01:03:56i just wanna be with you

01:03:57it's hard to find

01:03:59get down get down get down

01:04:00get down

01:04:01you can hurry on with the motherfucking tech man

01:04:04get your way

01:04:05damn

01:04:06i just wanna be with you

01:04:08get up get up get up

01:04:10yo

01:04:11or

01:04:15come on what about my career don't worry about that we can start all over baby and all that money

01:04:21i'm gonna hand back the divorce um about you your own club sugar

01:04:26um

01:04:28um terry your kisses are cold ruby we're in a damn freezer

01:04:33oh uh-oh i'm gonna have to warm you up

01:04:39You know what?

01:04:40Mama called Daddy.

01:04:41Oh, Rue, Rue, Rue.

01:04:43Whoa, come on now.

01:04:44You know I'm weak, all right?

01:04:46Come on.

01:04:47You know I'm weak, Rue.

01:04:49A little to the left, all right?

01:04:51Terry.

01:04:52Huh?

01:04:53Terry, I can't.

01:04:54I can't, Terry.

01:04:55What?

01:04:56I can't get the zipper down and stuff.

01:04:58Come on.

01:04:59You got me all excited, girl.

01:05:00Do that shit.

01:05:02How many people out there still believe in love?

01:05:06God fucking love, all right?

01:05:08No, no, no, seriously.

01:05:11You see, I need all of you to help me.

01:05:16See that lady back there?

01:05:18Right over there.

01:05:19No, no, no, brother.

01:05:20A little further up.

01:05:21Yeah, right there.

01:05:23That's my date for the evening.

01:05:25And you see, I've been trying to get to that woman for the longest time.

01:05:31Well, ain't that sweet.

01:05:33I think I love her.

01:05:35Honey, if you know like I know, you better get in before those two implants do.

01:05:45Kimmy, Kimmy.

01:05:47Kimmy, Kimmy, wait now.

01:05:49Kimmy!

01:05:50Kimmy, wait.

01:05:51Kimmy.

01:05:52Kimmy, hello.

01:05:53I wasn't trying to embarrass you.

01:05:54Look at me.

01:05:55It's not a good issue.

01:05:56Daddy, baby, come on now.

01:05:57Shit!

01:05:58I forgot my pocketbook.

01:05:59My keys are in it.

01:06:00Kimmy, Kimmy, look.

01:06:01I just want to talk to you for a minute.

01:06:02All right?

01:06:03Jackie!

01:06:04Come on now, Mama.

01:06:05You just stay away from me.

01:06:06If you like a public spectacle, there it is.

01:06:08I'm sure they screw you on stage if it could go on stage.

01:06:10Well, I mean, we don't have to go on stage.

01:06:11There's nothing.

01:06:12I guess I can't do it.

01:06:13I mean, you can't do it.

01:06:15I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

01:06:16You're not.

01:06:17I'm sorry.

01:06:18All right, I'm sorry.

01:06:19I'm sorry.

01:06:20I'm sorry.

01:06:21I'm sorry.

01:06:22I'm sorry.

01:06:23I'm sorry.

01:06:24If you like a public spectacle, there it is.

01:06:27I'm sure they'd screw you on stage if it got them noticed.

01:06:30Come on, baby, come on.

01:06:32Jackie, why do you want that woman?

01:06:34When you know we are your two fantasies,

01:06:36and as you know, we got it going on.

01:06:41Hey, hey, hey. What's gonna happen, baby?

01:06:44What y'all doing?

01:06:45My beautiful, beautiful, beautiful African princess.

01:06:48Hey, what are y'all doing tonight?

01:06:50What you want me to bring?

01:06:51Well, I don't know.

01:06:53I don't know. I mean, it's all right with me, whatever it is.

01:06:56Yeah, but you have a party, right?

01:06:58Yeah, I don't know.

01:07:00Hello? Dukies?

01:07:02Who am I talking to?

01:07:03Percy.

01:07:04Percy, this is Big.

01:07:06Big? Why'd he call you Big?

01:07:08It's personal. I don't want to talk about it.

01:07:10Oh, oh, I see. You one of them secretive type of brothers.

01:07:13Well, with a name like Big, you either seven feet tall,

01:07:16you a midget, or you got a microscopic wee-wee.

01:07:19Percy, I didn't get my cookies, and I'm pissed off.

01:07:22Where's my woman?

01:07:23Oh, your woman? She's right here with me.

01:07:25She's getting my cookies.

01:07:26And in a minute, she's gonna get my ding-dong.

01:07:29I can tell tonight I'm gonna die.

01:07:37Have you seen Terry? I need the emcee.

01:07:41I think sometimes he goes in the freezer to rehearse his jokes.

01:07:44Okay.

01:07:46Excuse me. Are you the owner?

01:07:49Yeah, yeah. I'm busy now. Busy.

01:07:51Anything I can help you with?

01:07:52I lost my emcee. I'm looking for another comic to fill in.

01:07:56Look, I'm a comic. I can do it.

01:07:59What's your name, boy?

01:08:00My name's Percy.

01:08:01You ever emcee before?

01:08:02Yeah, yeah. I emcee all the time. Yeah, sure.

01:08:05You stay right here. I might need you.

01:08:07I won't move a muscle. I'm froze just like an Eskimo in the Winter Olympics.

01:08:11Look at that. I'm froze, stiff, mannequin style.

01:08:13Yeah, let's say green. Let's say green. Let's say green.

01:08:14Let's say green. Let's say green.

01:08:15Let's say green. Let's say green.

01:08:16Oh, you gonna give me my own club? Oh, my own club. Oh, my own club. Yeah, so you gonna give me...

01:08:34Terry! Oh, this is a clam! What the fuck you doing to my freeze?

01:08:40I wasn't doing nothing, man.

01:08:42He's in here with me.

01:08:44Ain't this a bitch in my favorite freezer with my wife?

01:08:47And what was Ruby Lynn doing on her knees? Painting her damn toenails?

01:08:51Ruby Lynn don't have no toenails.

01:08:54Well, anyway, Dukey, you don't want me.

01:08:56I don't either, all right?

01:08:58Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you wanna.

01:09:01No, no, I don't, man. My shit is the smallest, tiniest. It's gone, man.

01:09:07And you want her real, real bad.

01:09:10It was a professional, man.

01:09:12You wanna keep working at Dookie's?

01:09:14You wanna live, Captain Dick?

01:09:17I would love to, man. I would love to.

01:09:19Then you gonna boink Ruby Lynn or die.

01:09:22You understand?

01:09:23Boink Ruby Lynn or die.

01:09:26Oh, no!

01:09:27I'll tell her to kill you two in a fit of passion.

01:09:30Oh, Terry, Terry, I think he's serious.

01:09:32You better get it up, baby.

01:09:34Get it up! Get it up!

01:09:36When I get back, I wanna hear some oinkin' and boinkin'

01:09:39just like a bunch of pigs in here.

01:09:40Bang, bang, bang, bang!

01:09:42You hear me? Y'all better get busy.

01:09:44Go ahead, give her some cold dick.

01:09:47Do you want the lights off or on?

01:09:52On, please.

01:09:54Oh, no.

01:09:55Dookie. Dookie.

01:09:58Dookie.

01:09:59Mrs. Sinclair.

01:10:01Mrs. Sinclair.

01:10:02Uh-oh.

01:10:08Man, what do you know?

01:10:10This situation played right into my hands.

01:10:13Yeah.

01:10:14Yeah.

01:10:17My shit is fucked up for life, Ruth.

01:10:20This shit is dead.

01:10:21Oh, no.

01:10:22It can't be dead.

01:10:24If it is, I'll be able to be dead.

01:10:26You, me, and then Weenie.

01:10:29Oh, come on, Terry.

01:10:31Come on.

01:10:32Weenie, don't fail me now, man.

01:10:34Don't do this shit to me.

01:10:37Just tease it.

01:10:38Just like that a little bit.

01:10:41Are you lookin' at me?

01:10:42I'm blowin' on you.

01:10:43I'm blowin' on you.

01:10:44Like this.

01:10:45Like that.

01:10:46A little bit.

01:10:47No.

01:10:48Tease it.

01:10:49It's like that.

01:10:50Boom!

01:10:51Right on that.

01:10:52I'm right here, still frozen like a snow cone.

01:10:55My man.

01:10:56Come on, you about to get real busy.

01:10:58What you want me to do?

01:10:59Emcee.

01:11:00Emcee?

01:11:01Emcee.

01:11:05Here comes show business.

01:11:07Hey!

01:11:08Well, y'all know one thing, it's good to be here, doobies.

01:11:19And, uh, you know I'm standing backstage, and a doobie come up to me and say, look here, have you ever emceed before? And I said, no, but I BS all the time.

01:11:30You need to O-F-F your pompadour wearin' ass off the stage.

01:11:35Your jacket back on the stage lookin' like Morris Day.

01:11:37Yes!

01:11:38And that jacket looks like a jar of mustard.

01:11:41Get your tractor and ass off the stage.

01:11:44Thanks for the jet!

01:11:48Lookin' like Lloyd Rogers dipped in jar.

01:11:52Oh, Dookie a bonus for me.

01:11:56Yes.

01:11:57Oh, Dookie, that's so nut-

01:11:59It's a bonus tag.

01:12:01Uh, but, uh, Dookie, Dookie, do...

01:12:04Dookie...

01:12:05Uh, but, uh, do, do, do, do, do, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

01:12:24Duke, what are you doing?

01:12:27Everything's all right.

01:12:29I got Ruby Lane locked in a freezer with Terry.

01:12:32With Terry?

01:12:32Little Terry?

01:12:33Little Terry.

01:12:34He was just the excuse I needed.

01:12:35Excuse for what?

01:12:37To seem at my thing with you.

01:12:38What thing?

01:12:41The love partnership you were talking about.

01:12:43You and me.

01:12:44Making love.

01:12:46And making money.

01:12:48Dookie, I, I, I think you misunderstood.

01:12:53No, no, no, what about Big?

01:12:54Remember Big?

01:12:54I gave him a football contract in Canada, babe.

01:12:57Oh.

01:12:57Why are you backing off on me?

01:12:59I thought this was what you wanted.

01:13:01Yeah, the fame and the money part, yes.

01:13:02But what about the love and the man stuff?

01:13:05Dookie, Dookie, Dookie, Dookie.

01:13:06You, you, you are the man.

01:13:08The man who employs me, who launched my career.

01:13:11But you've got a wife, and I've got a 300-pound brother in my life.

01:13:15I don't care.

01:13:16I want some of that diva thing, baby.

01:13:18Give me some of that diva thing.

01:13:18Give me a little.

01:13:19Dookie, Dookie, come on.

01:13:19Go get the door.

01:13:20Dookie, go.

01:13:20Who is it?

01:13:21Dookie, hit the door.

01:13:22Dookie, hit the door.

01:13:23Dookie, hit the door.

01:13:23I need to speak to you for a second.

01:13:24Dookie, it'll only take a second.

01:13:27I, I should go.

01:13:28Dookie, dookie, dookie, dookie, dookie, dookie, dookie, dookie.

01:13:29No, no, Dookie, you know this is not right.

01:13:32Wait a minute.

01:13:41Mr. Dookie, Mr. Dookie, they love me downstairs.

01:13:44You got to give me more spots here at the club.

01:13:46We'll take it later on.

01:13:47Later on, okay?

01:13:48You two talk, I'll leave.

01:13:50No, no, no, no, Percy.

01:13:51Listen to me.

01:13:53We're going to talk about this later on, okay?

01:13:54I'll talk about this.

01:13:56I'm going to kill somebody.

01:13:58Does somebody be messing my woman know where he is now?

01:14:00Yeah!

01:14:02Big, don't kill him.

01:14:04Hey, bro, you don't want me to talk that shit as far as man.

01:14:06I ain't got no phone, brother.

01:14:07Don't get no blood on my carpet.

01:14:11Big, big, big, big, big.

01:14:13I don't even know your woman.

01:14:14Big, I have never seen this man before.

01:14:17And go, God, make sure she's right, go, God.

01:14:20All right, all right, all right, brother.

01:14:22All right.

01:14:22Now, you know I've been to Vietnam.

01:14:26And I'm about to go back.

01:14:31Help!

01:14:32Open up!

01:14:33Dookie, I'm going to go find your black ass.

01:14:42Terry, I guess I can get me a raise now, can't I?

01:14:45Yo, man, look.

01:14:46He cool, all right?

01:14:47He's dangerous right now.

01:14:48No, I'm going all up in his face, cheating on me all this time.

01:14:51He's crazy.

01:14:58Well, I'll be a motherfucker.

01:15:01You don't see no shit like this on cable.

01:15:03Yeah, my people come from a black Indian tribe outside of Detroit.

01:15:11You don't see no shit like this on cable.

01:15:14The slapper hole tribe.

01:15:17Help me!

01:15:19I'll shoot you.

01:15:20Frost, big, somebody's going to try it.

01:15:22Shut him down, shut him down.

01:15:23This is right over here.

01:15:25Oh, she's shut up.

01:15:26Help me!

01:15:30I'm not going to run.

01:15:31Okay, lemon down.

01:15:33Help me control the humongous elephant.

01:15:35Five minutes, about a minute, I can see more healthy.

01:15:37Hey, big, big, big, big, big, big, big.

01:15:41I'm going to take this right to the end.

01:15:43Did you make it a bad for business, big fella?

01:15:45Nobody messes with my woman.

01:15:46Nobody!

01:15:47It wasn't me.

01:15:48It wasn't me.

01:15:49I swear it wasn't.

01:15:50He's right, big.

01:15:51He's right.

01:15:52My woman wouldn't mess around behind my back unless somebody like you tempt her.

01:15:56Now, co-sign that.

01:15:58If it was my woman, I'd do the same damn thing and more.

01:16:02Oh, you know.

01:16:02See?

01:16:03I'm telling you, it wasn't me, motherfucker.

01:16:06That's right.

01:16:07It wasn't him.

01:16:09Look at that, motherfucker.

01:16:09Look at that.

01:16:10No.

01:16:11It was that low-down, rotten, cheap-ass, scumbag dookie.

01:16:17It's always the honey.

01:16:18Fuck this shelter.

01:16:20Oh, yeah.

01:16:22Yeah.

01:16:23Yeah.

01:16:27If I could control my arm, I'd kick you off my ass, boy.

01:16:30Back to the floor.

01:16:32Go ahead, Mr. Brick.

01:16:33Let me go.

01:16:34Oh, yeah.

01:16:35Oh, yeah.

01:16:36Oh, yeah.

01:16:37Oh, yeah.

01:16:38Claire, I hope this don't affect our relationship.

01:16:40Yeah.

01:16:41If it's gone for you, this shit's happening.

01:16:42Uh-uh.

01:16:43That's enough, dog.

01:16:44Take his hand.

01:16:45Let him go.

01:16:46Get off of me.

01:16:47I said I'll let him go.

01:16:48Go.

01:16:49Ah!

01:16:50Ah!

01:16:51Ah!

01:16:52Ah!

01:16:53Ah!

01:16:54Ah!

01:16:55Ah!

01:16:56Ah!

01:16:57Ah!

01:16:58That's a hell of a punchline.

01:16:58Ah!

01:16:59Ah!

01:17:00Don't you give me a motherfucker.

01:17:01I'm gonna let the hair out of you.

01:17:03Oh!

01:17:04Ah!

01:17:05Ah!

01:17:06Ah!

01:17:07Calm down, now. Calm down, now.

01:17:11Somebody give me a whip with a chair for this motherfucker.

01:17:25I'd keep $10,000 when that motherfucker woke up.

01:17:37Jacky! Jacky, where are you going, Jacky?

01:17:46Come on back here, baby! Don't go!

01:17:51Jacky! Jacky, you don't want her. Come here, baby.

01:17:55Jacky.

01:18:04No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:18:06Jacky!

01:18:07Jacky!

01:18:08Jacky!

01:18:09Jacky!

01:18:10Jacky!

01:18:11Jacky!

01:18:12Jacky!

01:18:13Jacky!

01:18:14Jacky!

01:18:15Jacky!

01:18:16Jack!

01:18:18Oh, my God.

01:18:19What do we have here?

01:18:22Look at you. Dirty, filthy, no self-respect.

01:18:26And we still want you.

01:18:27Oh!

01:18:28Jacky!

01:18:29Jacky!

01:18:30Jacky!

01:18:31Jacky!

01:18:32Jacky!

01:18:33Jacky!

01:18:34Jacky!

01:18:35Rude, this is dangerous. I shouldn't even be driving you home.

01:18:40What was I supposed to do? Why?

01:18:42Nah, you could have took a cab.

01:18:44As much as you put me through tonight, I oughta make you carry me to the door.

01:18:48Damn. Me and my politics.

01:18:52My shit is...

01:18:54My shit is dead, man.

01:19:05Damn.

01:19:18Yo, I'm sorry about the night, Ruba. I messed up.

01:19:22Come on, baby, come on. Try not to think about it.

01:19:25Uh-oh, that's Tukey, that's Tukey.

01:19:27Hey, look, talk to him, all right?

01:19:29He ain't gonna do nothing. That man crazy about me.

01:19:32Uh-oh.

01:19:33Bite him in the ass.

01:19:34Won't be no red tin-tins tonight.

01:19:35Bite him in the ass.

01:19:36I don't want those red tin-tins out of you.

01:19:38We're gonna bite some ass tonight.

01:19:40Come on.

01:19:41He wasn't worth all of this?

01:19:43All the motherfuckers won't stop.

01:19:45Come on.

01:19:46Bite that...

01:19:47We don't pay you.

01:19:48Bite him in the ass.

01:19:50Come on, bite, bite, bite, bite.

01:19:52Come on, Tyker.

01:19:53That's what you did, thank you.

01:19:57Come on, Tyker, go get him.

01:19:59Pack him, Tyker, bite him in the ass.

01:20:01Don't shoot.

01:20:02Don't shoot.

01:20:03Don't shoot.

01:20:07My dick!

01:20:08Where's my dick?

01:20:09What?

01:20:10What is it?

01:20:11Ah!

01:20:12You!

01:20:13That's who?

01:20:14Matt?

01:20:15It's because of you my shit is...

01:20:18My shit is gone!

01:20:20Ah, look, baby, look!

01:20:23My shit is back!

01:20:24My shit!

01:20:25My shit!

01:20:26My shit!

01:20:27My shit is...

01:20:28My shit is back, girl!

01:20:30Welcome home, man!

01:20:32Oh, baby, I'm so happy for us.

01:20:33Come here.

01:20:34Whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:20:35We got to rethink this us shit.

01:20:36Oh, come on, Tyri.

01:20:37No.

01:20:38Us is the problem.

01:20:39Hello?

01:20:40My shit is back.

01:20:41Who's that?

01:20:42Dookie, he's crying.

01:20:43Hello?

01:20:44No, Dookie, I don't wanna hear it.

01:20:45No, you must think I'm crazy.

01:20:46I'm not going back to you.

01:20:47What about us?

01:20:48You know, the benders?

01:20:49Okay, on two conditions.

01:20:50One, get rid of that mangy, flea bitten bitchiest animal.

01:20:58I'm not talking about your dog, I'm talking about your mama!

01:21:03I am through.

01:21:04I am through with politics, I am through with that shit.

01:21:16From now on, hey, I'm gonna use my talents.

01:21:21I'm gonna do just like Jackie and Kimmy.

01:21:24Fall in love, get up in the morning, go to church,

01:21:28and then we're going straight home.

01:21:30You know they didn't come out the house for four whole months

01:21:33looking at Kimmy.

01:21:35Would you?

01:21:38No, no, no, no.

01:21:40Not like Brother Roach and Brother Kwame.

01:21:43Brother still got their eyes on the Pussy Patrol

01:21:47instead of the ball.

01:21:52Now, as for Big and Percy,

01:21:55well, I hear they become best friends

01:21:57and went on the road as a rapping and wrestling tag team.

01:22:01Little Feet and Big Foots.

01:22:04I think the 20 jealous husbands will win.

01:22:07As for Aretha, well, she stopped working for a while.

01:22:11Yeah, to have a baby.

01:22:12Of course, Big was the daddy.

01:22:14And the damn baby weighed 18 pounds.

01:22:18Look at her.

01:22:20Well, as for Ruby, Lynn, and Dookie,

01:22:22well, fortunately, they hooked it up again.

01:22:24Without me and without the dog.

01:22:28Damn, that's a damn shame.

01:22:32Oh, well, I couldn't be happy.

01:22:34You know what?

01:22:35My shit is back!

01:22:37Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

01:22:43Sheadi...

01:22:44Ah-aah-aah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

01:22:46Ah-hah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

01:22:50Ah-ha-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah HAAAA, APAG and!

01:22:55Ant crucial.

01:22:57Oh my friend, talkin' dirty.

01:23:01Talk, talkin' dirty, out the door.

01:23:06Talkin' dirty, talkin' dirty, out the door.

01:23:09Ah, ah, ah, talk, talkin' dirty, out the door.

01:23:15Talkin' dirty, talkin' dirty, out the door.

01:23:18Woo, woo, woo.

01:23:20Each night I go up to my favorite spot.

01:23:24And I don't know why, but I'm extremely high.

01:23:28No, no, no, no, no, close to that.

01:23:34Oh, oh, oh, no, that's too close.

01:23:40Oh, here, baby.

01:23:44Have a breath, Ben.

01:23:50Yeah, see, that's better.

01:23:54Oh, oh, oh, now, now, now, now, we can talk dirty.

01:24:05You raise my cholesterol level.

01:24:09I want to make biscuits, and I can't even cook.

01:24:16Oh, oh, you make me want to get a divorce.

01:24:20Legal action turns me on.

01:24:23Oh, oh, oh, oh.

01:24:24Be my judge, baby.

01:24:27Bang me with your big gavel.

01:24:30Oh, oh, oh, oh.

01:24:34Oh, oh, oh.

01:24:39I'm a mother.

01:24:41I'm a mother.

01:24:42Oh, oh, oh.

01:24:44I'm a mother.

01:24:46Oh, oh.

01:24:47Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

01:25:17I bet you really don't see what you do to me

01:25:28Girl, your love feels fine

01:25:32The way your body moves me

01:25:34Makes me believe that my heart needs you

01:25:40I can tell by the look in your eyes

01:25:45Let you soon be mine

01:25:49Take your time, girl, it's not too late

01:25:54Your love is worth the wait

01:25:58I can't, I have your love

01:26:02It's meant for me

01:26:05I can't give you good love

01:26:11Girl, can't you see?

01:26:15I bet you don't realize

01:26:17Since you came in my life

01:26:19My whole world turned around

01:26:23The way you make me feel

01:26:26Girl, I can't believe

01:26:27That you don't feel the same

01:26:31You're right there

01:26:45You're right there

01:26:45I can't believe it

01:26:46You're right there

01:26:47You're right there

01:26:47For sure if you're not

01:26:47You're right there

01:26:49You're right there

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