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Scams.&.Scandals.S2024E07.Are.We.Dating.the.Same.Fraudster
Transcript
00:00I met him on Plenty of Fish.
00:06He was very complimentary.
00:08Seemed really nice.
00:10That's when he started with his charm.
00:13People normally think dangerous is somebody who can physically hurt you, make you bleed.
00:19I wasn't used to people treating me like this.
00:23It was new, it was special.
00:26But Raymond is dangerous in a way he hurt people emotionally.
00:32The impact on victims is akin to the impact, the psychological impact of rape.
00:38I was potentially going to ruin Mel's life.
00:41She said, I need to show you something.
00:44Burst this bubble that she had, she was in with this man.
00:48You don't have to say anything but it may have made a difference if you do not mention one question,
00:51something which you later are lying in court, something you do see and maybe given an evidence.
00:54What kind of man was I living with? What kind of man had I married?
01:00Mel is a successful businesswoman.
01:20She's owned hairdressing salons in the North East.
01:23She was single, following a previous long-term relationship.
01:27When she met Ray, he seemed to be the perfect guy.
01:31And she thought she'd met the man of her dreams.
01:37Came across as a lovely, genuine man.
01:40Had a spark.
01:41Got on really, really well.
01:43Made us laugh, which is really important to me.
01:46What attracted you to him?
01:49Just his whole persona.
01:51I mean, we laughed because he asked us actually what I thought of him.
01:55And I said, your shoes.
01:56You've got nice shoes.
01:58He said that he was ex-army.
02:00Worked in like private security.
02:03Just seemed a genuine person.
02:07He just said that he was financially secure.
02:10He told us he had a villa out in Cyprus.
02:12Just his whole presence came across as somebody who was comfortable.
02:19It was kind of just like a whirlwind.
02:22Everybody said it was, just go for it.
02:25Go with it.
02:26He's a lovely guy.
02:27People who met him, they were all like, it's about time you met someone like this.
02:32That was going to treat you right.
02:35Less than two months after they met, Ray popped the question.
02:41Logham and beautiful inside champagne flowers, chocolates, hot tub.
02:47And he came out with a bag, with an engagement ring in.
02:51Got down on my knee.
02:53He said, will you marry me?
02:56He said I was his everything.
02:59What did you say?
03:01Yes.
03:04Well, I had a really nice time.
03:06Got up the next morning, had breakfast, which he cooked.
03:09I wasn't used to people cooking and treating me like this.
03:13It was new, it was special.
03:19But what Mel didn't know was that Ray was dating another woman
03:23and posing as a high-ranking military officer.
03:27And according to the police, he'd scammed thousands of pounds from her
03:32to pay for his and Mel's sham wedding.
03:35We went to the airport.
03:40Again, he was, you just stand and look pretty princess while I checked us in.
03:45He told us that possibly they might put like a code name when he travels because of his army job.
03:52Said that he was kind of secret service.
03:55I was oblivious to it.
03:57I was standing, chatting to a couple behind us when we checked in.
04:01He put my bags on.
04:02He said, let me deal with all the paperwork because you're not used to this.
04:06Let me treat you right.
04:08I was under the impression once we got to Dubai we had to go to the law courts the following day
04:14to get the paperwork before we could have like a ceremony.
04:17I questioned him.
04:19I said, Ray, I went to this law courts.
04:21We're going to have to try and find it.
04:24He was like, don't worry about it princess.
04:26I've arranged for a wedding planner to do all the legal paperwork site for us.
04:31It was all kind of a whirlwind.
04:34I think it was around about 11 o'clock in the morning when we were on the beach and he said
04:40the paperwork's been done.
04:42We're actually officially now married.
04:45It was nice, but it didn't feel like a wedding day.
04:50But then we went off and had a lovely day out in the desert.
04:55We went off in jeeps across the safari.
04:59I even joked at him at one point and went, who even does this to the wife on the wedding day?
05:04Because I was terrified.
05:05Hanging on for my life.
05:07Yeah, it was just a really nice day.
05:10My mum was over the moon.
05:12She'd gotten photographs that I'd sent, put into frames and things.
05:17People had started sending wedding cards and presents.
05:20It was all just kind of caught up in the moment.
05:23Just a really nice feeling.
05:26The sham wedding was a money-making opportunity for Ray.
05:31Mel's parents chipped in hundreds of pounds for a celebration event which never materialised.
05:38And then, just days into her new life, Mel's world was about to fall apart.
05:45Ray was scamming a third woman.
05:48She wants to remain anonymous.
05:51We're calling her Eileen.
05:53I went onto a dating website called Badu.
05:56He messaged us on there and he asked if I wanted to meet up.
06:00So I agreed to meet him.
06:01But he only wanted to meet really early in the morning, like half seven in the morning,
06:05because he was going to work.
06:07He said he worked for probation services.
06:09He didn't.
06:10He was on probation.
06:11And he even had the audacity to turn up in Mel's car.
06:22So we arranged to meet just for a cuppa.
06:26And he turned up and he was not in the car.
06:31He said he was going to be in.
06:32He said he was going to be in a posh car.
06:35He told Eileen he could get high-end goods at knock-down prices.
06:42She gave him the money to buy them, but received nothing.
06:48Within a case of the month, I think he'd had about 2,500 offers.
06:52I was buying a watch for my son's birthday and bits and pieces.
06:57And he kept saying, we'll meet tomorrow.
07:02And I says, I'm at work.
07:03And he goes, well, he says, it's not just, I says, I haven't got any more money.
07:07I can't get any more money on my card and everything.
07:10And he was like, are you sure you can't get, like, just enough to get your such and such?
07:14And I was like, oh, no.
07:15And he was like, I just want to see you, he says.
07:17It's not just about the money coming to get that.
07:19He says, I want to see you.
07:20And I was like, all right.
07:22So I got my last money out and that was as much as I could get.
07:26By now, Ray had emptied Eileen's bank account
07:30and her niece was becoming suspicious of the new man in her life.
07:35She went on Facebook to appeal for information about him.
07:39She'd put on, does anybody know of a guy called Ray?
07:43Because me aunt's involved with him.
07:46And then she got a private message from one of the women, Maria, saying,
07:55I think my friend's just married him.
08:00When I read the first couple of lines, I knew it was Mel's alleged husband.
08:08I was potentially going to ruin Mel's life, burst this bubble that she had.
08:13She was in with this man who had let out believe all these things
08:17and the stuff I was reading just wasn't the person she thought he was.
08:29Now, Maria doesn't normally ring us, she normally texts.
08:32And it was a case of, I need to talk to you.
08:36Are you on your own?
08:37And I was like, no, no, I went, but go ahead.
08:38I went, Ray's just, yeah, we're just sitting watching TV.
08:40She went, no, Melanie, I need to talk to you in private.
08:44Now, if I'm already getting to do this, I knew it was something serious.
08:49I didn't know what.
08:50I was like, what nurse going on?
08:52I thought maybe she had a problem.
08:55I went upstairs in the bedroom and she went, I've seen something on Facebook.
09:00And I could just tell in her voice that was just, I want to say fear,
09:07but that's probably not the right way to use.
09:11She said, I need to show you something.
09:16So that was when she sent us across on a message, a Facebook post.
09:25And it was basically someone saying that they'd met a guy called Ray,
09:29or that Annie had met a guy called Ray,
09:31and had given him some money for some goods.
09:35It's six o'clock in the morning.
09:37Erm, does anyone know anything about it?
09:41And then Maria sent us a post underneath.
09:46That was a newspaper article.
09:49His face, not his name.
09:52Not his name.
09:56I felt sick instantly.
10:00And I said, I need to tell you.
10:02But I didn't want to tell you at the same time.
10:04Why not?
10:12Stop it.
10:13Stop it.
10:18I knew it was going to hurt you.
10:28My world just fell.
10:29It burst me bubble.
10:30Yeah, and I did that.
10:43But you saved me life.
10:44Yeah, but I still did that, didn't I?
10:46It's probably one of the hardest things I've done in my life.
10:51What kind of man was I living with?
10:54What kind of man had I married?
10:56Mel made an excuse to leave and Maria picked her up.
11:00I knew I had to be the best actress in my entire life that I could be
11:05to get out of that house.
11:10We tried to get into the police station, it was closed,
11:13because it was after nine o'clock at night.
11:16I rang 999 and we reported it.
11:20Maria and Mel stayed in the car and waited for the police to arrive.
11:25They said, don't go home.
11:27No matter what you do, do not go home.
11:30I kept ringing them, because he was keeping texting us,
11:32going, is everything all right?
11:34I then said, my phone, my battery was dying.
11:37I sat in the car with Maria.
11:38I think I rang him or sent him a tick.
11:40I can't remember.
11:41It was such one of those nights where you don't know what's what.
11:43I basically asked him if the door was open, unlocked,
11:47because it was raining.
11:49I watched him on my dog's camera that I've got in my sitting room,
11:52get up and unlock the door.
11:55Then he went and sat back down.
11:58The police went in and cuffed him and arrested him.
12:02Did you just come in?
12:03Offering call?
12:04Yeah.
12:06Right.
12:07Raymond, I'm going to place you into a right story.
12:09On suspicion of fraud by police representation.
12:12You don't have to say anything, but it may harm your defence
12:14if you do not mention one question,
12:15someone would you later rely on in court.
12:16Anything you do say, it may be given an evidence.
12:18OK?
12:19It was a shock.
12:20I was just...
12:22I can't even remember how I felt.
12:24I was in so much shock.
12:28Well, it's policy because obviously I don't want you to run off
12:30now that you're in my custody.
12:32Did you see his face when they brought him out?
12:33I did.
12:34They had him in handcuffs and he just wasn't faced by it at all.
12:38It was like he was expecting it.
12:42Ray was back in custody and faced questions over scamming Mel
12:46Mind your head.
12:47And the two other women.
12:53So who is Ray MacDonald?
12:57He's 51 years old and was raised in East Durham.
13:01His last known address is here in Trimden,
13:04a county Durham pit village and a far cry from the homes he claimed he had.
13:10He also uses a variety of fake names.
13:16He's been legally married five times and has at least 10 children.
13:22After leaving school, he joined the army,
13:24but was given a dishonourable discharge for scamming fellow soldiers.
13:31People normally think dangerous.
13:33There's somebody who can physically hurt you, make you bleed.
13:37But Raymond is dangerous in a way he hurt people emotionally.
13:40Saad Shaban is the detective who questioned Ray about his serial offending.
13:49He was in denial.
13:53He did not think he'd done anything wrong.
13:56He believed everything he'd done was right in his own ways.
14:00He did not believe he scammed anyone.
14:04He kind of said that he was not in a relationship with the other victims.
14:09They were just friends.
14:11And the money he took, he was supposed to give them back.
14:15Before we start, I love Melanie, so I'll never ever do anything to hurt her.
14:18This has just been a case of my face has appeared on Facebook.
14:24She's seen the past.
14:26And this is where it's all come from.
14:27It seems weird that three women have all congregated together
14:30and they've got the stories straight before they came in as well.
14:35Women.
14:36Women lie throughout the interview.
14:41And I think that's what the scary part is that he did not believe what he's doing is wrong.
14:47And what were you in prison for?
14:50Fraud.
14:52That's why my face has popped up on bloody Facebook.
14:55Because if I hadn't done this before, then these three women, none of this, I wouldn't be sat here now.
15:00And then because she's seen my face on Facebook, because she's given me a tenner,
15:03it's now I've robbed her when I haven't.
15:07I think that's what makes him more, more dangerous than any other offender.
15:11Because once you think what you're doing is absolutely right, then you don't stop.
15:17It's, you know, I'm not going to sit here and play a sob story, but I've been to jail.
15:22I've come out and it's just, it's easier in jail than it is outside of jail.
15:26It's hard work out here.
15:27So, I mean, for them, for me to say it's a probation,
15:31say I'm in a relationship with yourself,
15:34she's going to say no, she's then going to contact you saying,
15:36you know Raymond's done A, B, C, ten years ago,
15:39then that person then not going to be in a relationship with you.
15:42And if you actually fall in love with somebody,
15:45and there isn't actual things falling in love for her,
15:46like they did with Melanie,
15:48then that relationship's gone straight away because of your past.
15:51You can never get past your past.
15:53One of the tactics Ray uses to scam women is to tell them that his mother has died.
16:01He told Mel he'd lost his mum to cancer in early February 2024.
16:07Raymond, your mum's still alive, I'm not DJ.
16:16I am Raymond McDonald's mum.
16:20And he's even told his victims he's gone to her funeral several times.
16:26I've had some beautiful send-offs, mind.
16:28I asked Pauline if any of Ray's claims were true.
16:36He says he's got a villa in Cyprus.
16:38No.
16:39A BMW.
16:40No.
16:41A log cabin in the Lake District.
16:43Ah, ah.
16:45Millions in the bank.
16:46Oh, I wished.
16:48I don't know where he's hiding the bugger then.
16:52He hasn't got naff at all, he's a bloody big liar.
16:55He's my son and I love him to pieces and I wouldn't let anybody hurt him.
17:04But I don't like what he is and what he has done.
17:08Because it's backlash on all of my family.
17:13I do nervous breakdowns with him.
17:16Because of people coming to the house and threatening to bomb me house
17:20and petrol bomb me house.
17:21He's heard the women that he stole off and promised to marry and wasn't going to marry.
17:31It was a full shaman.
17:32He took the money for receptions and all this and he spent that.
17:37That's how he got into big time.
17:39And then after that he just kept going and going and going and going.
17:47And he's still going now.
17:49I can't tell you how many times he's been in jail.
17:51In fact, Ray has been in and out of jail for the past two decades.
17:58In 2000, Raymond was thrown out of the army.
18:02He was first jailed for fraud in 2003 after posing as an off-duty police officer.
18:09In 2007, he was given a suspended sentence.
18:12He pretended to be a property agent to rip off women looking for rental homes.
18:19In 2009, he was jailed for three years after trawling for women to con via dating sites.
18:26In 2011, he was jailed for four years for stealing thousands of pounds from two women he'd met online.
18:32In 2016, Ray was back behind bars again.
18:37He was given a seven and a half year sentence for fleecing five women he'd met on dating sites.
18:42Out of around £100,000.
18:45And in 2019, he was jailed again after absconding whilst on day release from prison.
18:55We told his mom about Mel and the sham wedding in Dubai.
19:02If she was here, all I could do was squeeze her and hug her and tell her,
19:08I'm sorry but I can't make him something he's not going to be or want to be.
19:15He is, he's doing what he is, I don't know what to say to her.
19:20Really, what can I say to her but I'm sorry.
19:24Because, I mean, I didn't do it.
19:27He wasn't brought up like that flower.
19:29I've met with some of Ray's past victims.
19:34They didn't want to go on camera, so their words are spoken by actors.
19:39I met him on Plenty of Fish.
19:42He was very complimentary.
19:44Seemed really nice.
19:46He said how much he'd fallen in love.
19:49You know, he'd never felt like this before.
19:51And that's when he started with his charm.
19:55I guess I fell for it.
19:57He met my family, met my dad, my dad's partner, my brother, my son.
20:00Suddenly there was like bang, bang, bang on the door and there was three CID officers come round the back, come into the house on their own.
20:12So I ran down the stairs saying what's going on and there he was there and they said we're arresting him.
20:20Google Raymond McDonald.
20:23And there it was.
20:26Serial fraudster.
20:27Well like, of course my whole world just fell apart.
20:34At the time things were like a blur.
20:37I wouldn't get out of bed.
20:39If I didn't have my family to support me I wouldn't be here now because I didn't want to be here.
20:45I was suicidal.
20:46I was just a wreck.
20:49I just hit rock bottom really.
20:52I had no job.
20:54I had no money.
20:56Didn't want to get out of bed.
20:58Didn't eat.
21:00Cried all the time.
21:02I just didn't know what to do with myself.
21:05Take me brain out.
21:07Take it away.
21:09Fix it, erase it and then give us it back.
21:12Because I wish I'd never actually met.
21:15I didn't deserve to meet this man.
21:26Elizabeth Carter is an expert on so-called romance fraud.
21:31She advises the police on convicting scammers like Ray and the methods they use to groom their victims.
21:37The impact on victims psychologically with romance fraud is akin to the impact, the psychological impact of rape and other types of sexual abuse and assault.
21:50This is because the person who's a victim of the crime has not only lost their money but they've also lost it at the hands of someone they believe that they absolutely love.
21:59This isn't someone asking for money out of the blue.
22:03In this particular case, the person has been physically right there in front of them and lied to their face purely to try and abuse their trust and get the money out of them.
22:13After they realise that they're a victim of a crime, which is psychologically harmful in itself, they also have that grief to deal with.
22:21You know, they've lost the love of their life.
22:22I believed I had a future with this man. He built up my confidence and self-esteem, yet it's lower than it's ever been.
22:33I let my guard down with him because he's the first man I've trusted and believed in in a long time.
22:37As a result of this, I'm broken and don't know how to start a repair. Question myself daily. My only answer is, all I need to do is get through one more day.
22:51Ray pleaded guilty to three charges of fraud. Today is Mel's chance to look him in the eye in the dock and tell him the damage he's done to her.
23:00Ray was jailed for four and a half years. The judge said the emotional impact of his actions was much greater than just the financial loss and added whatever sentence he imposed, he didn't think it would be enough for some of the victims, even if it was life.
23:22There are previous victims of Raymond who wanted to be here today, but they just couldn't as they're still so affected by him many years on.
23:32I understand and I carry their pain with me and suffering too. I'm Raymond's conviction number 61.
23:39There are more victims out there who have been scammed by Raymond. All they wanted was a genuine relationship with a person they believe was generally nice.
23:49Raymond took advantage of that.
23:53Face-to-face romance fraud is seriously underreported. Current statistics put it around 15% of all victims that will report it.
24:01And the reasoning behind that is that there is this shame around being a victim of fraud.
24:08It's torture what he's done to me for his own gain and I will never trust anyone again that I don't know.
24:13I slept with a man who I didn't even know. In my head I feel like this makes me some kind of rape victim.
24:20They have been groomed and manipulated just like a victim of coercive control or domestic abuse.
24:26And we would never, ever talk about the victims of those kinds of crimes in the ways in which society talks about victims of romance fraud.
24:33Raymond's actions and behaviour will no longer destroy me. I won't let it, but it will empower me and strengthen me.
24:42If he'd come and knocked on my door, Melanie, I want 10 grand and I'll walk away otherwise I'm going to cause you so much mental trauma.
24:49I'd have got him the 10 grand to run a mile.
24:52Basically when I met Raymond I wanted to tell the world about him and I'm going to do that in a different perspective now.
25:02The world will know who he is, what he is and what he does.
25:11He's an absolute prick.
25:13If you have been affected by some of the issues raised in this film.
25:34Details of help and support are available at bbc.co.uk forward slash action line.