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00:00Piano music
00:30There's all the difference in the world between a real gambler and someone who just has an
00:39occasional flutter. The real gambler either doesn't mind losing his money or he's able to
00:45forget about his losses by the next day. I'm a mad gambler. I'll bet on anything. I once got 25 to
00:521 against my wife having twins and five minutes later I called up the bookie again and said,
00:57hey about that bet I just made I'd like to make another one. Certainly he said. I'd like to bet
01:03you I'll lose it I told him. He didn't mind in the least and we made a second wager. I write stories
01:10about betting because I'm fascinated by how people behave when there's a big bet on. Here's one of
01:16them. For two days the Atlantic Voyager had been sailing through a storm but on the morning of
01:24the third day the sea calmed. Even the most delicate passengers, those who had not been
01:29seen around the ship since sailing time, emerged from their cabins and crept onto the sun deck
01:34where the steward gave them chairs and tucked rugs around their legs and left them lying
01:38in rows. Their faces upturned to the pale, almost heatless October sun.
01:44Good morning. My name is Renshaw. This is my wife.
01:55Bada ball. I'm sorry? Bada ball. B Brooklyn, O Oliver, T Tommy, I Idaho, B Brooklyn, O Oliver,
02:06Mr. L as in love. I'm glad to meet you. Mr. Bada ball, dear. Hello.
02:13Hmm, this is the sun simply heavenly. I thought if that storm had gone on another minute they
02:20just could have dropped me over the side and I would have said thanks, fellas.
02:24I told her to take her a couple of days before she got her sea legs.
02:29Oh, come on now, hon. I mean, you make it sound as if it's the first time I've ever been aboard a ship.
02:36Which, as a matter of fact, just happens to be the truth.
02:40Uh, are you a good sailor, uh, Mr. Bada ball?
02:44Just average.
02:47Uh, I guess the captain's table's by invitation only, right?
03:02Oh, yes, sir. But, uh, there's also the first officer's tables.
03:09Uh, I guess the captain's table's by invitation only, right?
03:14Yes, sir. But, uh, there's also the first officer's table, sir.
03:17And the person's.
03:18Purser.
03:19Yes, sir.
03:21Purser.
03:25I'd like to be at the person's table.
03:28Let's drink to the hope expressed by Mr. Renshaw.
03:31Calm seas from now.
03:33Calm seas.
03:34Calm seas.
03:35Pardon me.
03:39Hey.
03:40Would you mind telling me how much was in the ship's pool last night?
03:45What was that about a pool?
03:47Oh, I'm not going swimming until it gets really warm.
03:51No, dear, it's not a swimming pool. It's an auction pool.
03:55Oh, what's that?
03:57Ah, well, highly exciting.
03:59Each evening there's an auction in the smoking room.
04:01The captain estimates how many miles he thinks the ship will do by midday tomorrow,
04:05and we auction numbers either side of the captain's estimate.
04:08Hey, this sounds like a lot of fun.
04:10Mr. Bottibault was asking me about the prize money.
04:13It's always roughly the same.
04:14Last night the pool was worth about $7,000.
04:17Good.
04:18Perfect.
04:21I figured that should be about $12,000.
04:24Are you, uh, thinking of bidding on a ticket, Mr. Bottibault?
04:27I'm not quite sure yet.
04:28Huh?
04:29Uh-oh.
04:30Uh-oh.
04:31Oh, my God.
04:32Going to be a very dirty night.
04:34Steward, I should serve the next course at once.
04:37I'm not quite sure yet.
04:38Uh-oh.
04:39Uh-oh.
04:40Uh-oh.
04:41Uh-oh.
04:42Uh-oh.
04:43Uh-oh.
04:44Uh-oh.
04:46Uh-oh.
04:47Uh-oh.
04:48Uh-oh.
04:49Uh-oh.
04:50Uh-oh.
04:51Uh-oh.
04:52Uh-oh.
04:53Uh-oh.
04:54Uh-oh.
04:55Uh-oh.
04:56Uh-oh.
04:57Uh-oh.
04:58I have a saw here.
05:00You will enjoy the fish, Mrs. Wrenchall.
05:01It's turbot with holidays sauce.
05:11And, next time we go by plane.
05:18You'll excuse me.
05:19I-I think she'll just see how she is.
05:23But excuse us, please.
05:42Pardon me.
05:47Could I ask you something?
05:48What's the trouble, Mr. Bottebol?
05:50What I want.
05:53What I want to know is,
05:56will the captain have already made his estimate on the day's run?
06:01You know, for the auction pool, before it got rough like this?
06:06I should say so, yes.
06:08About how long ago do you think he did it?
06:10Oh, sometime this afternoon.
06:11I imagine he usually does it in the afternoon.
06:13About what time?
06:16Around four o'clock, I should think.
06:20Well, it was calm.
06:23Well, you think the captain knew there was bad weather coming on this evening?
06:28I couldn't tell you, Mr. Bottebol.
06:31I wouldn't know.
06:32I mean, if it gets any rougher, if the ship slows down, then it'd be worth buying some low numbers.
06:40Wouldn't you think?
06:41Perhaps you will.
06:42I doubt whether the old man allowed for a really rough night.
06:46It was pretty calm this afternoon when he made his estimate, as you pointed out.
06:51Well, that means the storm could slow us down, doesn't it?
06:57Oh, come on.
06:58And the captain will have estimated too high a number, right?
07:02Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
07:22Well, it's time for the auction.
07:24Now, the captain's estimate for the day's run, ending at noontime tomorrow, is 515 miles.
07:30As usual, we take ten numbers either side of that to make up the range.
07:37So it's 505 to 525.
07:40And for those of you who feel that the true figure would even be further away,
07:44we have a low field and a high field sold separately.
07:47So let's take the first number out of the bucket.
07:53And remember, the captain's number is 515.
07:56And the first number is 512.
08:01$90.
08:02I have $90 to start with.
08:04$100.
08:05$350.
08:06$350.
08:08$400.
08:09Sold a man for $200.
08:10Let's take another number out of the bucket.
08:13Ah, it's the low field.
08:15Now, let me remind you that the low field covers every number below the smallest number in the range.
08:22Now, in this case, that means every number below 505 miles.
08:25So what have I bid?
08:27$100.
08:27$100.
08:29$100.
08:30That would bid for $100.
08:32$150.
08:32$150.
08:35$200.
08:36$200.
08:36Any advance on $200?
08:40$250.
08:40$250.
08:41Any advance on $250?
08:43$300.
08:44$300.
08:45I have $300.
08:47$350.
08:47$350.
08:49Any advance on $350?
08:52$400.
08:53$400.
08:54$450.
08:56Any advance on $450?
08:58$500.
08:59$500.
08:59$500.
09:00$500.
09:01Any advance on $500?
09:05$500.
09:06$500.
09:07$50.
09:08Any advance on $550?
09:09$600.
09:11$600.
09:12$600.
09:12$600.
09:12$500.
09:15$700.
09:16$700.
09:17I have a bid of $700.
09:18Any advance on $700?
09:24$750.
09:25A bid for $750.
09:26Any advance on $750?
09:28$800.
09:29$800.
09:30$800.
09:30$900.
09:32$900.
09:33$900.
09:34$900.
09:35$900.
09:36I've got a bid for $900.
09:37Any advance on $900?
09:41$950.
09:42$1,000.
09:43$1,000.
09:46I have a bid for $1,000.
09:47Any advance on $1,000?
09:49Going once at $1,000.
09:52Twice.
09:52Sold to the man for $1,000.
10:05Beers in Brooklyn.
10:09Oh, good.
10:11It's great to see a friendly face.
10:13All right.
10:13So, what are you looking so happy about?
10:16Lowfield.
10:17That's me.
10:18Lowfield.
10:19Can't lose.
10:21I heard.
10:21It's a pretty good-sized pool, too.
10:23A little over, what?
10:25$13,000, right?
10:27$14,000.
10:29I bet you had to pay plenty for it, though.
10:32$1,000?
10:34That's some lowfield ticket.
10:39Want to add something else?
10:40What?
10:41It was my last $1,000.
10:44It was all I had in the world.
10:48Yeah, well.
10:49Was that smart?
10:50Smart?
10:51Smart?
10:53Smart?
10:54Are you kidding?
10:55I just got through telling you.
10:57I can't lose.
10:59I mean, I...
10:59I can't lose.
11:03You see, the captain figured in a good, calm sea,
11:07but then...
11:08Slowed us right down.
11:11Blow, blow, blow, thou winter wind.
11:19Wind?
11:19Wind?
11:19Wind.
11:21Wind is more poetic, old boy.
11:24Poetic.
11:25Ah, yeah.
11:28My love is like a red, red rose
11:32that's newly sprung in June.
11:35Robert Burns.
11:39My love is like a red, red rose.
11:43Yes, sir.
11:45And my love, sir, is my wife.
11:49And my wife, sir, is Ethel.
11:51Now, now that, that, sir, that, that is unusual, don't you think?
11:57My love is my wife, and my wife is my love.
12:03And Ethel is her name, sir.
12:04And have I got a surprise for Ethel.
12:11Oh, boy.
12:13A surprise?
12:14When I get the $14,000 in my hand from the auction pool,
12:18all in crisp $100 bills,
12:21you know what I'm gonna do?
12:23What?
12:24I'm gonna buy the finest car I can find.
12:26I'm gonna pick it up on the way from the ship,
12:29and I'm gonna drive it all the way home,
12:30just, just for the pleasure of seeing Ethel's face.
12:34When she walks out the front door and looks at it.
12:38Now, wouldn't that be something?
12:40Mm-hmm.
12:43Hello, Ethel, honey.
12:45I have a little present for you.
12:49Yeah, I saw it in the windows.
12:50I was passing by, and I said to myself,
12:53that's the car you always wanted.
12:55You like it, honey?
12:56You like the color?
12:57Mm-hmm.
13:02And you know what I'm gonna do?
13:04What?
13:08I'm just gonna stand there and watch your face.
13:11I'm just gonna stand there and watch your face.
13:11I'll see you.
13:20I'll see you next time.
13:23Oh, my God.
13:53Oh, my God.
14:23Oh, my God.
14:39Come in.
14:41Good morning, sir.
14:49And a very nice day it is, too.
14:53When did the weather change?
14:55Just before dawn, sir.
15:02But it's only nine o'clock.
15:04Yes, that's right, sir.
15:05We'll make up for all the time we lost last night.
15:08We're fair bowling along now, sir.
15:09Oh, my God.
15:17What am I going to do?
15:20Dear God, what am I going to do?
15:23Oh, my God.
15:24What's Ethel going to say?
15:29I can't tell her I spent six months savings on a bed in the ship's pool.
15:33I can't keep it a secret.
15:35Well, I'll just have to tell her to stop drawing checks.
15:39What about those monthly installments?
15:43Oh, that look when she gets really mad.
15:46The eye's gray instead of blue.
15:49Oh, my God.
15:53What am I going to do?
16:04Morning.
16:04Well, there's no telling about the weather, is there?
16:13You can't win now unless this ship turns around and starts to go backwards.
16:18Hey, that's an idea.
16:20Why don't you go up and ask the skipper to put the ship in reverse and go full steam astern?
16:24You can offer him 10% of the profits.
16:29Hey, now that's better, old buddy.
16:31You've just got to face it.
16:33There's nothing you can do to slow this ship down, so you've just got to grin and bear it.
16:37Yeah, I guess so.
16:41Good man.
16:48You know, I was kind of worried when I saw you standing that close to the ship's rail.
17:03Good morning.
17:12Oh, Mr. Butterball.
17:13Good morning to you.
17:14All right.
17:14I guess I might as well tear this up now, huh?
17:16Yes, bad luck.
17:18Ships picked up a lot of speed.
17:20Hey, could you tell me something?
17:21How close do you think I got?
17:23I mean, how long would the storm have to have blown before I had a chance of winning?
17:28Oh, about an hour, I suppose.
17:31Yes, if the storm had lasted for another hour, we'd never have made up the time.
17:35Well, why not?
17:48Why ever not?
17:50Sea's calm, and I won't have any trouble keeping them flown until they pick me up.
17:54Sea, the ship will have to stop, and the lifeboat will have to go back maybe a half a mile to pick me up,
18:01and then it's still got to return to the ship.
18:04Now, all of that has to take at least an hour.
18:08It'll knock 30 miles off the day's run, and that will do it.
18:20The sooner, the better.
18:21Do it now and get it over with.
18:26Have to do it soon, because the time limit's at noon.
18:32Yeah, she'll probably do.
18:35She would probably give the alarm just as quickly as anyone else.
18:39But wait a minute, wait a minute.
18:42Take your time, will you, Bada Ball?
18:44Take your time.
18:46Check her out.
18:47Make sure.
18:53Hello.
18:54Hello.
18:56My name's Bada Ball.
18:58B Brooklyn, O Oliver, T Tommy, I Idaho, B Brooklyn, O Oliver, L as in love.
19:05Mr. Bada Ball.
19:07You heard.
19:09I was barely speaking above a whisper.
19:12Oh, yes, I have excellent hearing.
19:14I'm often told I hear things I shouldn't.
19:17Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
19:20I'll bet you have 20-20 vision, too.
19:2420-20 vision?
19:25Well, I mean, I'll bet you could see the tiniest speck at sea.
19:34Well, maybe I could.
19:36What I mean to say is, you don't have to use glasses, do you?
19:41Oh, only for reading, but then I really don't like reading.
19:45In the evenings, Maggie, we travel together.
19:48She reads to me before I sleep.
19:50I find it so restful.
19:52Do you have any interest in the ship's auction?
20:00Auction?
20:01Oh, what auction?
20:02You know, that funny old thing after dinner?
20:06They sell tickets for the bet on the ship's daily run.
20:11How about if you had a ticket, a high number?
20:14You'd be very pleased if we would make up some time.
20:16Oh, well, you see, I'm very lazy.
20:19I always go to bed early.
20:20I have my dinner with Ben.
20:21So restful to have dinner in bed.
20:26Well, I have to do my morning exercises now.
20:29You'll forgive me.
20:31I never like to miss my morning exercises.
20:34It was nice meeting you.
20:36Very nice to see you.
20:38Goodbye.
20:40Bye-bye.
20:40Bye-bye.
20:41Bye-bye.
21:07Bye-bye.
21:08Oh, my God.
21:38Oh, my God.
22:08Oh, my God.
22:15So there you are.
22:17I've been searching for you everywhere.
22:19Hope you've been behaving yourself.
22:21It's very odd.
22:22A man jumped overboard just now with his clothes on.
22:26Whatever will you think of, Nick?
22:28He wanted to get some exercise,
22:30so he jumped in and didn't bother to take his clothes off.
22:33He called out, too.
22:35You're hearing things again.
22:37No, I'm not, Maggie.
22:39Well, you'd better come down now.
22:41And please, don't go wandering about on deck without waiting for me.
22:46Come along.
22:46It's time for your clothes.
22:47Yes, Maggie.
22:48I think he took a liking to me.
22:54Yes, yes, I expect he did.
22:55He wanted to know all about me.
22:58I do believe he was flirting.
23:00Whatever you say, dear.
23:01Oh, such a nice man.
23:03He waved to me, you know.
23:05He waved to me from the water, he did.
23:08He did.
23:08That wasn't that kind.
23:11Yes.
23:11He waved.
23:13He waved.
23:15Waved and he played.
23:17Such a freak.
23:18He's a freak.
23:38God, God.
23:46God, God.
23:54God.
23:58God.
24:04God.
24:04God.
24:07God.
24:07God.