Sheltered introvert, Bobby, takes a bite out of the snobbish social hierarchy at his school. | dG1feEIyaFJIOVduUTg
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 These days, the end is always at the beginning.
00:07 This story has been told many times, but never by me, so I'll do my best.
00:18 You are looking at Bobby. He was a boy of few talents, unpopularity being the only thing
00:27 he excelled at. His lack of contact with the outside world had rendered him socially inadequate
00:34 and immature. His only friend, Lance, was confined to a wheelchair so their activities
00:43 were limited. One only needs to look at a typical Saturday night for Bobby.
00:53 Hey kiddo, you want some more Cool Ranch Doritos? No thanks, I'm okay. They're really good though.
01:00 Oh, can you scratch my back? Sure, sweetie. Like this? Yeah, that feels really good.
01:11 At school, he was teased and tortured by a group that called themselves the Fern.
01:22 Rhett McConaughey! Their leader was Rhett McConaughey. Rhett McConaughey! His girlfriend was Kelly
01:29 Cassett.
01:32 I can't do this trick.
01:49 Hey, what are you thinking? Guys like us don't belong at Rhett's party. You can't go there.
01:56 I wouldn't go there with a public enemy. And besides, what you're doing is disgusting.
02:02 You could get a disease or something. It's crazy and besides, Rhett will kill you.
02:08 But there was nothing Lance could say. There's nothing you can say to talk me out
02:12 of this. This is something I have to do. This was something Bobby had to do.
02:19 But how is eating your own shit going to make any difference in what they think of you?
02:23 It's disgusting and Kelly will think it's disgusting too.
02:27 I'm doing it. Well I guess that's not the stupidest thing
02:30 that you could do. That would probably be diving head first into
02:36 the shallow end of a pool. So that's what Bobby had to do. He was to
02:42 go to Rhett's party, whose parents were in Europe, and eat his own feces.
02:48 Why you ask? Three reasons actually. To spite the man he hates, to impress the woman he
02:55 loves, and to fulfill the dream that has been far too long coming.
03:01 [Music]
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04:01 What the fuck pussy lips? There's a bunch of people waiting on line.
04:05 She needs to fucking be here. Asshole.
04:07 Why the fuck are you here? Who the fuck invited you?
04:10 Why don't you go fuck your mother because I'm done with her.
04:12 Better yet, tell her to wait because I'm going to fuck her again.
04:14 She's probably still sore. What's going on honey?
04:17 Are you in line?
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04:46 Well, what an honor. Now that the king of nerds has entered my home, you fucking pussy.
04:52 My underwear is out of your mouth, so you got anything to say?
04:55 [Laughter]
04:58 [Laughter]
05:01 [Music]
05:04 [Applause]
05:25 [applause]
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05:45 [applause]
05:51 Bitch better have my money.
05:52 [music]
06:01 It ain't nothing like black pussy on my dick.
06:04 Word to the motherfucking DJ quick.
06:06 I play hoes like dominoes slapping balls.
06:08 AMGs on the motherfucking microphone.
06:10 I slang dick bitch, nothing more and nothing less.
06:13 You gotta see no hoes, you can take the test.
06:15 And bring big fat titties and lots of backs.
06:18 You got the woody and I got the ax.
06:20 I'm no joke when I stroke for a client.
06:22 Bitches need dick so they buying it.
06:25 G with the hot dog fade.
06:26 Open up your ghost bag bitch so I can get paid.
06:29 And take off your G-string drawers.
06:32 Bitch eats your Weedies cause I don't want one.
06:35 I always thought you were so cute.
06:38 Yeah, me too.
06:39 Me too.
06:40 Me too.
06:41 [laughs]
06:42 Thanks.
06:43 You guys are really cute too.
06:44 [laughs]
06:46 You're such a pioneer in the way you dress.
06:48 Yeah.
06:50 Thanks, I like your clothes too.
06:52 [laughs]
06:55 Yeah man, I think it's all about tolerance.
06:59 Dude, I couldn't agree more.
07:01 Yeah, I think you guys have nailed it.
07:03 Hey guys, can I have a little bitty hitty boom bitty?
07:07 Get your own sack faggot.
07:09 Fucking faggots, what the fuck?
07:11 [laughs]
07:14 [laughs]
07:17 Yo Bobby.
07:19 Hey, sorry about your floor.
07:21 I'll clean that up.
07:22 You don't ever have to clean that shit up man.
07:24 Excuse me?
07:25 That was the coolest shit I've ever seen anybody do.
07:28 You're officially in the firm.
07:30 Thanks Red.
07:31 Firm.
07:33 Wow.
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09:43 Bitch!
09:44 [BLANK_AUDIO]