• 8 years ago
Comedy (2003) 90 minutes ~ Color

Making a movie in Hollywood looked easy, especially when you're a sexy aspiring film maker. Sarah Wilder arrives in Hollywood ready to start her career by making her first picture. Sarah's only contact is her Uncle Lou who was a screenwriter in the old days of the studio system. With his guidance and connections, she embarks on a wild journey into the world of Hollywood, where she encounters crazy studio executives, insane producers, and a gangster who agrees to finance her film ... for a price.
Music by The Black Eyed Peas (right before they became real famous!!!)
Director: William Tannen
Writer: David Pasquesi
Stars: Linda Black, Alan Blumenfeld, Carmine Caridi, Mike Myers, Janeane Garofalo, Ben Stiller
Transcript
00:00What do you want?
00:20Well, I wanted to see you.
00:23And I figured you'd want to see me too.
00:25Why would I want to see you?
00:28Because, you know, he told me to get my shit together, and I have.
00:32You've been here five months. You're in jail.
00:34I don't call that getting your shit together.
00:38I'm a professional.
00:41And I wrote you a poem.
00:44Oh, no, don't. You're not going to read it, are you?
00:46Jimmy, Jimmy. You have sunk to new depths, Jimmy.
00:49Jimmy, if you read that, we are both going to be so embarrassed, okay?
00:54No, we won't.
00:55You won't?
00:56Yes, I will.
00:57So, if you want to give me something, just make me a license plate or something.
01:02My Miranda.
01:04By Jimmy Cookie.
01:08Poor sweet thing.
01:10I've put you through so much.
01:12I want nothing more than just to feel your touch.
01:15Okay, please don't do this, Jimmy. Jimmy, please.
01:17When I'm thinking of you and my heart is breaking,
01:21they tell me to shut up, get back to raking.
01:24Oh, God.
01:27So, for the state in my filth I've wallowed,
01:31and for you, my love, my pride, I've swallowed.
01:36Okay, that's just darling.
01:38I think this can't be true.
01:40I shouldn't be here.
01:42I should be at home.
01:44Protecting you.
01:48But I'm not.
01:50Oh, my God. I've got to get out of here.
01:52Sorry.
01:53Thanks for listening and making the long drive.
01:55I really appreciate it.
01:57Careful on the drive home.
01:59People are nuts out there.
02:07Okay.
02:09I love you.
02:11This summer, Virus comes over, and he's, like, helping me paint the kitchen, right?
02:14And Jimmy gets in his head that I want to sleep with Virus,
02:19which would fucking kill Virus, right?
02:21I mean, he's just so pathetic.
02:28Hey, Virus?
02:30Virus?
02:31Can you help me out here?
02:33There's something I'm not clear on.
02:35Let's hear it.
02:36Was that me that was always thinking about us getting caught,
02:39or was I the one who said, if you think it, it'll happen?
02:42See, because I remember hearing it.
02:45I just don't remember if that was me saying it to you or you saying it to me.
02:49Oh, right, right.
02:51Now I remember, right, right.
02:53I was the one who said, nothing exists, thinking makes it so,
02:57you were the one who kept willing us to get caught.
03:00That's right.
03:02Now I got it, right.
03:04And did we get caught?
03:06I forget.
03:08Sure, sure we did, right.
03:10We're raking because we have to, not because we enjoy it, right.
03:16We're in prison right now, that's right.
03:19So I was right, and you got us caught, right.
03:24That's right.
03:25Okay, right.
03:27Hey, Virus?
03:29Do me a favor, would you?
03:31Do not think about us dying a slow, painful death in prison, okay.
03:35And above all, don't think about what's in your heart of hearts.
03:39Your heart of hearts.
03:41Because that's where us getting caught lives.
03:43Admit it, Rockstar, you got us caught.
03:46Yeah, I guess so.
03:49Oh, what's that, son?
03:51I can't hear you.
03:53What are you deaf, son?
03:55No, I'm not deaf.
03:56I was just thinking.
03:58About fucking Miranda.
04:00You asshole.
04:02I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.