Broke

Film Gorillas

Watch Broke - Film Gorillas on Dailymotion

Transcript

00:00:00I-22?

00:00:02BINGO!

00:00:19Ah, shit.

00:00:30Phone ringing.

00:00:34Phone ringing.

00:00:36What the?

00:00:38Phone ringing.

00:00:40Hello? Hello?

00:00:42Phone ringing.

00:00:48Hello?

00:00:50Marshall, where the fuck are you?

00:00:52Ah, shit, I'm right.

00:00:54You were supposed to be here 15 minutes ago.

00:00:56What time is it?

00:00:58Ah, fuck it, man. Alright, hold on, I'll be right over.

00:01:00Hurry up, man. I don't want to ruin my perfect attendance record on the last day of school.

00:01:04Alright, chill out, man. I'll be over in like five minutes.

00:01:08Good morning, Chicago.

00:01:10Coming up on a quarter past seven in the a.m.

00:01:12The skies are blue and the temperature is a snunky 92 degrees with a slight breeze.

00:01:18I'm Bob Sanders, your morning DJ here on WKQZ Oldies 101.3.

00:01:22Ah, shit.

00:01:24When I get up in the mornin'

00:01:26With the jeep so fast

00:01:28You know I like the best

00:01:30Until the sun comes down

00:01:34Baby

00:01:36When it gets too late

00:01:38I got to do my job

00:01:40I got to do it fast

00:01:44I won't leave a damn place

00:01:54I got to do it fast

00:01:58That's what I give to you

00:02:00And I like to take my time

00:02:02I got to ease my

00:02:06Baby

00:02:08When it gets too cold

00:02:10I got to do my job

00:02:12I got to do it fast

00:02:16I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:18I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:20I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:22I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:24I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:26I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:28I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:30I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:32I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:34I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:52I'm gonna rip that beat

00:02:54I'm gonna rip that beat

00:03:22Uh

00:03:24Ok

00:03:32AAAAH

00:03:36AYAH

00:03:40I'd say well

00:03:42What about you? Is your AP physics project done?

00:03:44Hey I've had that done for like a month

00:03:46Over achiever

00:03:48It's crap

00:03:50Be gentle, this car's a classic.

00:03:52A classic? It's an 85.

00:03:54Now move faster. We can't be late on the last day of school.

00:03:57My parents will kill me.

00:03:59And I won't have you screwing up my chances at the Enzer Academic Achievement Award!

00:04:02Dude, chill out. I'm going as fast as this car can go.

00:04:08Sorry, sorry. I might have been overreacting.

00:04:15No! You do not slow down! Do not slow down!

00:04:21What are you doing, dude?

00:04:23What? I wasn't picking my nose. I had an itch.

00:04:26No, man. Why are you honking? You know he's not ready.

00:04:29Yeah, I guess you're right. You should go up there and get him.

00:04:32I'm not going up there. You go.

00:04:34I'll play for it.

00:04:36Alright, fine. Bring it on, Cochise.

00:04:38Paper, scissors, rock!

00:04:40Shit! Fuck!

00:04:42Dude, just come with me.

00:04:44Alright, fine.

00:04:50Alright.

00:04:59Aldo?

00:05:01Anybody here?

00:05:06There's a sorry sack of shit.

00:05:08Wake up, asshole. We're going to be late for school.

00:05:11No, no, no. It's Sunday. It's cool. Go back to bed.

00:05:14Well, it's Friday, but close.

00:05:17I knew that.

00:05:19Then why aren't you up and ready to go? We're going to be late for school.

00:05:22Dude, it's not my fault the fucking alarm clock didn't go off.

00:05:25Yeah, there's a lot of that going on today.

00:05:27Man, are you sure this thing even works?

00:05:29I don't know. Are you?

00:05:31Would you just throw some clothes on? We're going to be late.

00:05:34Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on.

00:05:36Dude, those are my boxers.

00:05:38What? What the fuck, man?

00:05:40Hold this.

00:05:42Alright, let me just get something to eat and then we'll go.

00:05:47Alright.

00:05:55Are you going to drink that?

00:05:57Yeah, I wish we had apple juice, too.

00:05:59Let me grab my books. Hold on to this.

00:06:10Shotgun.

00:06:12What? Are you getting called? That's not fair.

00:06:14Why isn't it fair?

00:06:15You can't see my cereal. It's against the rules.

00:06:17What rules?

00:06:18The shotgun rules.

00:06:20One, you can't call until you're outside and you can see the car.

00:06:23Two, you can only call five minutes before you're about to leave.

00:06:26None of that hour before bullshit.

00:06:28And four...

00:06:29Three, dude.

00:06:31Three what?

00:06:33Whatever. Just get in the car.

00:06:35Fine.

00:06:38Hey, backseat, bitch.

00:06:40Come on, Marshall. The clock is ticking.

00:06:42What do you do with the club and this piece of shit anyways?

00:06:44I mean, it's still the same as being blind or retarded.

00:06:46No, man. If that was the case, they wouldn't be able to drive.

00:06:49I don't know, man. One time I saw a retarded kid on a moped.

00:06:55You'd be surprised at what they could do.

00:06:57Is retard the preferred term?

00:06:59For me, it is.

00:07:01Hey, so I was thinking about that road trip that we've been planning.

00:07:03Hey, is that Fleming?

00:07:07Hey, Vern.

00:07:08Oh, hey, guys. What's up?

00:07:10Vern, what are you doing on that heinous-ass bike?

00:07:12I got grounded from the car again.

00:07:14What did you do to get grounded from the car?

00:07:17I don't really want to talk about it.

00:07:29Hi, sir.

00:07:30Hello.

00:07:31Are you happy with your current religion of choice?

00:07:34Let's talk about the Lord.

00:07:43Vernon?

00:07:45Vernon, what happened here? Where'd everything go?

00:07:47I know what you're thinking.

00:07:51And they said they'd be back.

00:07:53Yeah, that happened to me once with a door-to-door knife salesman.

00:07:55How'd they get in your house?

00:07:57You know they're kind. They have their ways.

00:08:09Uh, no thanks. I'm happy with my religion of choice.

00:08:12Hi, sir.

00:08:14Can I interest you in a 45-piece butter knife set?

00:08:18Uh, no.

00:08:20Wait.

00:08:22I have a knife that can cut through a shoe.

00:08:26Why didn't you say so?

00:08:28Step in. Come on.

00:08:31What kind of shoe are we talking about here?

00:08:33Wait, you let a guy wielding knives into your house?

00:08:35Dude, it can cut through a shoe.

00:08:37How many knives do you have that can cut through a shoe?

00:08:39Yeah, well, that sucks about the car.

00:08:41It's for the best, though, you know?

00:08:43Get the fresh air, the exercise.

00:08:45I don't know, man. That looks like a lot of unnecessary work to me.

00:08:47All work is unnecessary to you, Waldo.

00:08:49You butthole.

00:08:51If you were my kid, I'd beat you.

00:08:53If I was your kid, I would beat myself.

00:08:55Whatever. I'll see you guys at school.

00:08:57See you at school, Vernon.

00:09:05Dude, did you see that?

00:09:07Did you see that shoe? Vernon just fell off his bike.

00:09:09He fucking ate shit. I think his face is bleeding.

00:09:11He'll be fine. He had a helmet on.

00:09:13No, he didn't.

00:09:15Well, he should have.

00:09:17It's really not safe to ride a bike without a helmet.

00:09:29I love the smell of education in the morning.

00:09:31No, you don't.

00:09:33Don't what?

00:09:35I'm going to be late. I'm going to ruin my record on the last day of school.

00:09:37What record?

00:09:39My track record. You're not even on the track team.

00:09:41Neither are you. Let's go.

00:09:43Oh, I hate you. Die.

00:09:45Think you can hurry up with that?

00:09:47Yeah, get it under control. What are you doing?

00:09:49Just get your book out.

00:09:51Don't worry about it. It's the last day of school. What are you freaking out about?

00:09:53That's not what I'm freaking out about.

00:09:55You completely wrecked my chances at the Anzri Academic Excellence Award.

00:09:57And there's an opportunity to get a shiny plaque and free complimentary car window stickers.

00:09:59My son's a friendless loser if he gets to school on time.

00:10:01Yeah, fuck you. I also get gift certificates from Bennegan's.

00:10:03Bennegan's?

00:10:05Yeah.

00:10:19Mr. McCormick.

00:10:21Button it kind of like a freaking communist.

00:10:27Hey, Mr. Brown. Get over here.

00:10:29What now, D?

00:10:31You refer to me as sir.

00:10:33Understood?

00:10:35Sir.

00:10:37I didn't do a tour in the Gulf to be condescended by some smart-ass little hippie like yourself.

00:10:39Wait.

00:10:41So you're saying you did a tour in the Gulf War

00:10:43so you can gain respect among high school students some ten odd years later?

00:10:45I have an idea.

00:10:47Why don't you meet me after school

00:10:49and we'll talk about Operation Desert Storm

00:10:51while you're in detention?

00:10:53Oh, come on.

00:10:55Are you serious?

00:10:57Dude.

00:10:59Sir.

00:11:01Sir, it's the last day of school.

00:11:03Come on. Can't you make an exception?

00:11:05Is that the pesky voice of insubordination

00:11:07I hear whispering in my ear about exceptions?

00:11:09Did the Iraqis make an exception

00:11:11when they threw that grenade into our tent?

00:11:13Was it an exception that took off my commander's legs

00:11:15and left him in a puddle of piss and blood

00:11:17and swam during desert heat?

00:11:19Go ask his wife and little Johnny

00:11:21about exceptions, Mr.

00:11:23Hardiman.

00:11:25Spit that gum out.

00:11:27Hey, man. What's up?

00:11:29Oh, hey, Vern. Where you been, man?

00:11:31Dude, what happened to your arm?

00:11:33Oh, this? Eh, I fell off my bike on the way to school.

00:11:35No big deal.

00:11:37I got a hall pass.

00:11:39Eh, I probably got one behind gym class, too.

00:11:41That's always a plus.

00:11:43Coach Peters is a fucking psycho.

00:11:45Remember, he used to make us play dodgeball with medicine balls.

00:11:47Come on. Let's go. Come on. Get out there. Let's go.

00:11:49Come on, handsome. Move it. Let's go.

00:11:51Come on, guys. Move it. Let's go.

00:11:53Oh, my leg!

00:11:55Oh, walk it off, you pussy. Come on.

00:11:57Come on, guys. Game on. Let's go.

00:11:59Man, it seems like I'm really missing out.

00:12:01Yeah, I think one broken appendage is enough for one day.

00:12:03Yeah, tell me about it.

00:12:05Hey, thanks a lot for that paper. Mrs. Elfman really loved it.

00:12:07Yeah, she loved it last year, too, when I handed it in.

00:12:09Man, that woman's so senile.

00:12:11I remember one time she thought she was back at the home.

00:12:13She made one of the kids in my class give her a sponge bath.

00:12:15Did he do it?

00:12:17Well, he had to. He was being graded.

00:12:19Man, I thought that final was hard.

00:12:21Anyway, thanks for that paper.

00:12:23I totally got an A.

00:12:25Don't thank me, man. Thank Wedge.

00:12:27Wedge? That dude's like 30.

00:12:29Did he ever refer a teacher?

00:12:31No, but he had to write a personal story for his 12-step program.

00:12:33Oh.

00:12:35That explains a lot.

00:12:37No longer will I be a slave to magic-breathing dragons of addiction

00:12:39or befriend mystical little tree gnomes of temptation.

00:12:43Instead, I shall ride high

00:12:45on the tall horse of sobriety.

00:12:49All right, man. We'll get you going back to class.

00:12:51Lunch, fifth period.

00:12:53All right. Same as seat.

00:12:55All right.

00:12:57Your mom, right?

00:12:59All right, class.

00:13:01Settle down. The bell rang.

00:13:03Now, as we all know,

00:13:05the final papers are due today

00:13:07and they're worth

00:13:0986% of your grade.

00:13:11Now, if you don't have your final paper,

00:13:13I'm sorry to be the one

00:13:15to inform you,

00:13:17but you've failed.

00:13:19That being said, please pass forward

00:13:21your final papers now.

00:13:25Yes, Nick?

00:13:27Yeah, my printer

00:13:29last night ran out of ink, but I mean,

00:13:31the paper's done. I just don't really have any...

00:13:33You've failed.

00:13:37Are there any other questions?

00:13:43Now, if there are no other questions,

00:13:45I've got a treat for all of us today.

00:13:47I have a movie we can watch

00:13:49that'll take up the rest of the class period.

00:13:51Aren't I the dopest teacher?

00:13:57Therefore, the surface area of the cube

00:13:59divided by pi is equal to the slope

00:14:01of the triangle's hypotenuse squared,

00:14:03which brings us to the obvious conclusion

00:14:05that x equals 9.

00:14:09Well done, Paul. Excellent presentation.

00:14:11You certainly do have an apt understanding

00:14:13for the Pythagorean Theorem.

00:14:15I love your little quip about the quadratic formula.

00:14:17Pure genius.

00:14:19Well, that will be a hard one to top.

00:14:21Okay, now, who's next?

00:14:23Ah, Mr. Brown.

00:14:25I hope your presentation will be as delightful

00:14:27as Mr. McGovern's.

00:14:33And that is how my invention

00:14:35turns ordinary household urine

00:14:37into perfectly drinkable H2O.

00:14:39I got the idea from Waterworld.

00:14:41Now, allow me to demonstrate.

00:14:45...

00:15:01Observe.

00:15:07Now I'll need a volunteer from the audience.

00:15:11Chuck, come on up.

00:15:15Now, don't be fooled by the color.

00:15:17I assure you, this is water.

00:15:25That's water.

00:15:27That's really water.

00:15:31Dang, Chuck! You've done it again!

00:15:33A+. You are the man!

00:15:45Hey!

00:15:49Let's go! Come on, you jaggy balls!

00:15:51Let's move it!

00:15:53Come on! Hustle!

00:15:55Coach, I have a broken arm.

00:15:57Walk it off! Come on, let's go, guys! Hustle up!

00:15:59But, Coach, how am I supposed to play dodgeball?

00:16:01What if I get hit by a ball?

00:16:03That's where dodging comes into play. Go on and get out there. Come on.

00:16:05But, Coach, they gave me this note.

00:16:07I don't care. Go on and get out there. Let's go!

00:16:09Come on, you Marys! You jaggy balls!

00:16:11I told you to run! Stop running!

00:16:13Let's go! Come on!

00:16:21So what are you doing tonight?

00:16:23Well, it's the first day of work.

00:16:25Oh, shit, that's right. You've got to go to the video store, don't you?

00:16:27Yep. I've got to go in for training.

00:16:29Yeah, that's not going to last long.

00:16:31What are you talking about?

00:16:33Well, you don't exactly have a good resume.

00:16:35Remember the time you wanted to be a caddy?

00:16:43So what are you doing today?

00:16:45What? Who's gay?

00:16:47What?

00:16:49No, I asked what he's doing today.

00:16:51What does that got to do with being gay?

00:16:53What?

00:16:55Nothing. What's with all these pastries here, Betty Crocker?

00:16:57I don't care about the fucking program, man.

00:16:59It's the bake sale.

00:17:01They're not pastries. They're baked goods.

00:17:03You can't sit here.

00:17:05This is the junior table. No sophomores allowed.

00:17:07Fuck off, man. You can't even read at a sophomore level.

00:17:09You're not getting any of this.

00:17:11Highlights magazines do not count.

00:17:13Hey, Jimmy makes fucking scavenger over here.

00:17:15Maybe you shouldn't have blown your wad on the bake sale

00:17:17and got a beverage to drink.

00:17:19Dude, what happened to your arm?

00:17:21I broke it.

00:17:23I don't know, man. That cast looks pretty haggard.

00:17:25Fucking HMOs.

00:17:27What about homos?

00:17:29Hey, man, you want some help with that?

00:17:31Yeah.

00:17:33Oh, Aldo, before I forget, man,

00:17:35here's the answers to that geography final.

00:17:37Oh, cool, man. Thanks.

00:17:39So, uh, how was the test?

00:17:41Well, fuck the final.

00:17:43I got the answers from Elisha.

00:17:45We got them from Graham.

00:17:47We got them from Zephyl.

00:17:49And he got them from Brickwell.

00:17:51I don't know. To be honest, I have no idea who took the damn test,

00:17:53but the answers are right.

00:17:55That's all that really matters.

00:17:57Oh, and be warned, man.

00:17:59Kaufman's showing a shitty-ass video today in history class.

00:18:01Dude, I can handle that.

00:18:03Oh, hey, that reminds me.

00:18:05I got the logistics planned out for that Canada trip.

00:18:07What if I get off work tonight?

00:18:09Wait, work? You got a job, man?

00:18:11That's lame, dude. Work's a four-letter word.

00:18:13I got another four-letter word for you.

00:18:15Lazy.

00:18:17Hey, man, what time do you get off work?

00:18:19Because I still have to help my parents pack for their vacation.

00:18:21Well, I figure we'll just meet over at Aldo's around ten-ish.

00:18:23I mean, his parents never even notice we're around.

00:18:25Yeah, her and Eugene have been gone for, like, three weeks anyways.

00:18:27So, basically,

00:18:29your mom and your step-dad completely abandoned you.

00:18:31That sucks.

00:18:33Dude, they didn't fucking abandon me.

00:18:35Whatever, Oliver.

00:18:37So we'll meet over at the Brown family orphanage at ten o'clock.

00:18:39Sounds good.

00:18:41What the fuck?

00:18:51Hey, if your number two's ready, we're going to begin.

00:18:55Hey, can I get your extra pencil?

00:18:57No.

00:18:59Let's get the bullshit out of there, guys.

00:19:05Shit.

00:19:19And that's why, from now on,

00:19:21I never buy socks at the flea market.

00:19:25Okay, boys,

00:19:27have a safe and fun summer.

00:19:29Don't do anyone I wouldn't do.

00:19:31All right.

00:19:35Hey, guys, wait up.

00:19:37Oh, hey, Vern.

00:19:39Can I get a ride home?

00:19:41Yeah, no problem.

00:19:43Where's Aldo?

00:19:45Yeah, he's in detention.

00:19:47On the last day of school?

00:19:49You know it.

00:19:51Figures.

00:19:53All right, well, hop in.

00:19:55Can you pop this trunk so I can put my bike in the back?

00:19:57Oh, just open the thing. The lock's broken.

00:19:59Is there anything that's not broken in this car?

00:20:01You want to walk home?

00:20:03Yeah.

00:20:05Hey, guys, thanks a lot.

00:20:31Hey, guys, thanks a lot.

00:20:33You're going to Aldo's tonight, right?

00:20:35Yeah, we have to go over details with Project Canada.

00:20:37You do know that we leave tomorrow.

00:20:39Yeah, I'll be there. I might be a little late, though.

00:20:41You know my parents. Take a long time to pack.

00:20:43Where are they going?

00:20:45I don't know, some religious retreat.

00:20:47That sounds like a cult to me.

00:20:49It's not a cult.

00:20:51Yeah, well, don't forget your bike, man. It's in my trunk.

00:20:53All right, later.

00:20:55All right, see you later.

00:20:57See you, Vern.

00:21:03Thanks.

00:21:21Hi, can I help you?

00:21:23Uh, yeah, I, um...

00:21:25Do you work here?

00:21:27No, I'm just a crazed customer who's wandered behind the desk.

00:21:29I'm kidding.

00:21:31Right, sorry.

00:21:33Um, I'm still searching.

00:21:35My name's Marshall. Marshall Tucker.

00:21:37So I guess I'm looking for the manager.

00:21:39Hi, I'm Kayla. I work here, too.

00:21:41I'll go get Dale. You can come around the desk here.

00:21:43Okay.

00:21:47Excuse me, young man.

00:21:49Hey, can you tell me what Letterbox is?

00:21:53Oh, it's, um...

00:21:55There's the bars on the top and the bottom of the screen.

00:21:57Oh, I hate that. Why do they do that?

00:21:59Marvin!

00:22:01Get over here now, huh?

00:22:03Oh, Marshall.

00:22:05Come here.

00:22:07Kayla, go on to the front, please.

00:22:15What the hell do you think you're doing?

00:22:17What?

00:22:19Well, I just saw you talking to a customer.

00:22:21Did I tell you you could talk to the customers?

00:22:23No, no, I don't think I did.

00:22:25You don't talk to customers

00:22:27until you've been properly trained.

00:22:29You are not ready

00:22:31to address the questions and concerns

00:22:33of the movie going public yet.

00:22:35But she just wanted a widescreen one.

00:22:37Aspect ratio.

00:22:39We in the business

00:22:41refer to it as aspect ratio.

00:22:43Remember that.

00:22:45I think you need to watch the video.

00:22:49Excuse me,

00:22:51you got any more copies of this back there?

00:22:55Hey, do we have any more Laundry Babes of Summer back there?

00:23:03Cut.

00:23:05Sometimes you have to put yourself in your customer's shoes

00:23:07and take things from their perspective.

00:23:15Somebody order a 12-inch sausage?

00:23:19Yeah, you can't handle this damn bitch.

00:23:21Oh my god.

00:23:29Yeah, suck that shit.

00:23:31Chew a little bit.

00:23:33Chew it up.

00:23:35Chew it up a little bit more.

00:23:47So Marvin, how'd you like the video?

00:23:49Well, actually it's Marshall.

00:23:51I know, I was just joking.

00:23:53Right, sorry.

00:23:55Well, it was informative yet erotic.

00:23:57Yeah, the guys did that.

00:23:59As you can see, we have a lot of time on our hands here.

00:24:01Obviously.

00:24:03Well, should we begin the training process?

00:24:05I don't think you're quite ready yet,

00:24:07but we'll give it a try.

00:24:09First you need your login name.

00:24:11And then you need your password.

00:24:13Do you know what your password is?

00:24:15Yeah, just a minute.

00:24:19What?

00:24:21We're all done out here.

00:24:23Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow then.

00:24:25Actually, no.

00:24:27I'm going to Canada for vacation for a couple days,

00:24:29so I'm going to need a couple days off.

00:24:31Okay, yeah, that's fine.

00:24:33Alright, well, thanks a lot.

00:24:37Okay.

00:24:45Okay.

00:24:57Wedge?

00:24:59Just go in, man. It's open.

00:25:07Whoa, man.

00:25:09I just dropped a mean-spirited deuce, man.

00:25:11You guys got an aroma candle or an incense?

00:25:13No, man.

00:25:15Well, actually, yeah, here, man.

00:25:17Oh, well done, man.

00:25:19Christ, yeah.

00:25:27So what are you guys up to today, man?

00:25:29Nothing.

00:25:31Going over to all those places,

00:25:33planning on our trip to Canada.

00:25:35Canada, eh?

00:25:37You know, my brother told me it's a great place to visit.

00:25:39He was there dodging a draft during the Gulf War.

00:25:41You have an older brother?

00:25:43Scratch that, man. I probably saw it on a travel channel or something.

00:25:45Anyways, man, when's this venture going down?

00:25:47We're leaving tomorrow morning.

00:25:49Yeah, ready to take off work.

00:25:51Work, man? Where are you working now?

00:25:53Village Video.

00:25:55Oh, Village Video? That place is bogus, man.

00:25:57You should come work for me, bro-hem.

00:25:59Yeah, dude, you can be an Aqua Avenger.

00:26:03Yeah, uh, thanks, but I'll pass.

00:26:05You know, the offer's always standing under the table, man.

00:26:07So what are you about up to, Wedge?

00:26:09I've been waiting for Aldo all morning,

00:26:11but that little shit never showed up, man.

00:26:13Yeah, he got out of detention today.

00:26:15Detention? I thought today was the last day of school.

00:26:17Yeah.

00:26:19Oh, that is righteous, man. You gonna see him tonight, man?

00:26:21Yeah.

00:26:23I'll tell you what, man, you gotta give him this mixtape, man.

00:26:25It's got some great Van Halen on it, Eris Amy Hagar.

00:26:27Even though Diamond Dave's a frontman of choice.

00:26:29But tell him only listen to Side B,

00:26:31because Side A's my mom's workout tape, and she's a pretty fat bitch, you know?

00:26:33She'll need it back.

00:26:35Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll get it to him right away.

00:26:37So what are you guys doing in Canada, man?

00:26:39You know, I never really thought about that.

00:26:41I don't, I don't know.

00:26:43Hey, you wanna put that in the glove box?

00:26:45Sure.

00:26:47Whoa, you got a lot of these.

00:26:49Wedge keeps giving us these kick-ass mixtapes,

00:26:51but none of us have a fucking tape deck,

00:26:53so we can't listen to him.

00:26:55Why don't you just tell him that you don't have a tape player?

00:26:57Well, it's gone too far to fess up now.

00:26:59You think that's bad? You should see the trunk.

00:27:07Hey, do you have any clean cups?

00:27:09Oh, no, they're all dirty. Just grab a bowl.

00:27:15Hey, can I make this za?

00:27:17Yeah, go for it.

00:27:27Dude, this oven's not working.

00:27:29Oh, right. I forgot.

00:27:31They shut the gas off last week.

00:27:37Hey.

00:27:39Hey.

00:27:41Hey.

00:27:49I'm the water, too.

00:27:51So how have you been taking showers?

00:27:55At the neighbor's house.

00:28:01What about washing your clothes?

00:28:03Have you ever been camping?

00:28:05Hey, Aldo, there's like a half-naked dude

00:28:07roaming around your kitchen.

00:28:09Do you have blonde hair or brown?

00:28:11How many half-naked dudes you got in this place?

00:28:13They come and they go.

00:28:15It's probably just my cousin.

00:28:17He's staying here for a little while.

00:28:19Did you bring me some?

00:28:21No.

00:28:23Well, why don't you grab me a bowl?

00:28:25I don't need my energy to fight these asteroids.

00:28:27They're not going to blow themselves up.

00:28:29I'm not going to.

00:28:31Then get the door wire up there.

00:28:33Who rings the doorbell at my house?

00:28:35Probably one of them damn knife salesmen.

00:28:37Yeah, very fun.

00:28:39I think I have the final numbers worked out for this trip.

00:28:41It's going to be about $150

00:28:43for this three-day expedition.

00:28:45Fuck that, dude.

00:28:47I can make $30 play out for like two weeks in Canada.

00:28:49With their exchange rate at $30,

00:28:51I'll look like a king.

00:29:03Hey, guys.

00:29:05Hey, Vern.

00:29:07What's up?

00:29:09Nothing.

00:29:11Hey, uh,

00:29:13what's a wedge doing here?

00:29:15I don't know, man.

00:29:17It just kind of showed up.

00:29:19All right.

00:29:21It works for me.

00:29:23You know,

00:29:25I don't know.

00:29:27I don't know.

00:29:29I don't know.

00:29:31All right.

00:29:33Works for me, I guess.

00:29:35Stop pushing.

00:29:37Well, can you move over?

00:29:39No, I can't.

00:29:41Come on, kids, settle down.

00:29:43Whoa, man, you don't look so good.

00:29:45Yeah, I feel kind of sick.

00:29:47I think it was that damn microwave pizza.

00:29:49I'm not sick.

00:29:51Yeah, neither am I.

00:29:53We all ate the same pizza.

00:29:55Yeah, not for breakfast.

00:29:57On that note, let's let Project Canada begin.

00:29:59Wedge, you know Canada's not a state, right?

00:30:01It's a continent.

00:30:03Whatever, man.

00:30:15Now what the hell are we gonna do?

00:30:17Wait, wait, wait.

00:30:19I got it. I got it.

00:30:21What?

00:30:23So Vern's parents are gonna be gone for a week and a half.

00:30:25We can just grab his minivan, take it to Canada for three days...

00:30:27...and nobody will even notice.

00:30:29No. No. No.

00:30:31Absolutely not. No.

00:30:33No!

00:30:47What the hell was that?

00:30:49What was that?

00:30:51I think it was a llama.

00:30:57Marshall. Marshall.

00:30:59What?

00:31:01Listen, brother, I gotta get going.

00:31:03You gotta get going?

00:31:05That's right.

00:31:07What do you mean?

00:31:09Gotta go to work.

00:31:11You gotta go to work?

00:31:13Yeah. Another day, another pool to clean.

00:31:15How do you have work?

00:31:17We were supposed to be gone for three days.

00:31:19Three fucking days.

00:31:21That's not what he said.

00:31:23Who?

00:31:25Who?

00:31:29No service?

00:31:31Come on. This is ridiculous.

00:31:33Just give me one bar.

00:31:35All I need is one bar.

00:31:39Well, Wedge is gone.

00:31:41I found the tire.

00:31:43Oh, good. You get a star for the day.

00:31:45How's he doing?

00:31:47He's fine. He's just a little passed out.

00:31:49Do you have any water back there?

00:31:51Actually, no. I got a pop.

00:31:55That'll work.

00:31:57How you feeling, buddy? You alright?

00:31:59You okay?

00:32:01My van.

00:32:03Yeah, it's all fucked up.

00:32:11Shoveled snow all winter to buy a cell phone.

00:32:13The damn thing doesn't even work.

00:32:15You know,

00:32:17it's really not that bad.

00:32:19Let me look at it from back here.

00:32:21What are you talking about?

00:32:23It's completely trashed.

00:32:25Yeah, it is, isn't it?

00:32:27What is this?

00:32:29Is this hair?

00:32:31It looks more like fur.

00:32:33I've never seen hair on the grill before.

00:32:35That's definitely not supposed to be there.

00:32:39It could be worse.

00:32:41Technically, it could be worse.

00:32:43This isn't that bad.

00:32:45How could it be any worse?

00:32:47Good point.

00:32:53Hey, man. How you feeling?

00:32:55You've been out for a while.

00:32:57God, that was just a dream.

00:32:59What was just a dream?

00:33:01I had this awful nightmare

00:33:03that we hit a camel with my parents' car

00:33:05on the way to Canada.

00:33:07No, dude, that didn't happen.

00:33:09Thank God.

00:33:11It was the llama.

00:33:13We didn't wreck the car, see?

00:33:15It was the llama.

00:33:17We didn't wreck the car, see?

00:33:19It was the llama.

00:33:21See?

00:33:27Ha! Dude, that's four. I told you.

00:33:29Come on, pay up.

00:33:31So how the hell are we gonna pay for this?

00:33:33We could have a bake sale.

00:33:35Wait, why don't we just have the insurance money

00:33:37pay for it?

00:33:39No, that's out of the question.

00:33:41It's too messy.

00:33:43I'd have to leave a paper trail a mile long.

00:33:45If you didn't use the insurance money,

00:33:47how'd you pay for the tow truck?

00:33:49We could pool the Canada money together.

00:33:52Yeah, I guess we could do that.

00:34:01Alright, what about the rest of Vern's money?

00:34:03He's only got like $10 left.

00:34:05So then how much do we got?

00:34:06$300. We still need over $600. And quick.

00:34:10Vern's parents are going to be home in less than a week.

00:34:12Wait, I got it.

00:34:13Uh, any other takers? How about Marshall?

00:34:15Vern, you got anything over there?

00:34:17Hear me out, dude. I got an idea.

00:34:18It's a good business venture. We just need someone to fund the company first.

00:34:21We supply the product. We cover the advertising.

00:34:24We cover all expenses. All you gotta do is be our vendor and we'll cut you in for 25%.

00:34:28What do you say?

00:34:48Vern!

00:34:59Well, now that I've solved that little problem, what do you guys want to do today?

00:35:02You didn't solve anything.

00:35:04I mean, it's only like 30 bucks here and it's mostly nickels.

00:35:07Yeah, and how much is the estimate?

00:35:08A thousand.

00:35:10Shit, that's almost a grand.

00:35:14Dude, I thought your water wasn't working.

00:35:16No, it's not, but the neighbor says I hooked up his hose to our faucet, so it's working.

00:35:22Shit, what time is it?

00:35:23Uh, eight, no, nine, twenty-three.

00:35:27Are you serious?

00:35:29No, no, no. It's only 4.45.

00:35:32Ah, whatever. Can't read the analog shit. This is the digital age.

00:35:37I'm going to work.

00:35:39What? How are you getting there? Your car broke down this morning.

00:35:42I'm taking my dad's Camry.

00:35:43Whoa, whoa. Your dad's letting you take the Camry?

00:35:45I thought he, like, rubs that thing with a diaper.

00:35:47No, that's Ferris Bueller's friend's dad.

00:35:49Cameron.

00:35:50Huh?

00:35:51Wait, how are you going to work? I thought you'd take the day off.

00:35:53Well, yeah, but we need money and sitting around here is not paying me minimum wage.

00:35:57I thought our friendship was worth more than $5.50 an hour.

00:36:00We need money. End of story.

00:36:02What about my kick-ass bake sale idea?

00:36:04Bye.

00:36:05I think it was a goldmine.

00:36:07Dude, that guy just told me he rewound his DVD.

00:36:10Dumbass. Put a late fee on his account.

00:36:14Customer, dude. That's all you.

00:36:16Hi, what can I get for you?

00:36:18Hi, I'm Marshall Tucker. I'm supposed to work here at 5.

00:36:21Marshall? Well, man, can't you see it's 5.03?

00:36:24Your lateness isn't going to be tolerated here at Village Video.

00:36:27You can take a long, hard ride down the street to Popcorn Movies

00:36:30where you can go in and out 24 hours at a time as you please.

00:36:33Hey, you're playing with fire on the mountain, man.

00:36:35Get out of my face.

00:36:37Okay.

00:36:39No, come back here, dude. Just kidding.

00:36:41Dale, there's a hot chick here for you.

00:36:44Is her name Amber?

00:36:46What the...

00:36:48Get back to work, you two.

00:36:50Hey, Marvin, come here.

00:36:57What are you doing here?

00:37:00What are you doing here? I thought you took the day off.

00:37:02What, sir? I took the day off.

00:37:04It's my first day. Why would I take off my first day?

00:37:06I don't know. I thought you said you were going to Canada.

00:37:08What's in Canada?

00:37:10I don't know.

00:37:12Me neither. There's another one on the same page.

00:37:14I think I should get back to work.

00:37:16Yeah.

00:37:18Good idea.

00:37:25Well, I'm impressed.

00:37:28Though I don't really understand why someone would want to con their way into working.

00:37:31I'm Mitch.

00:37:33Hey, how's it going?

00:37:35Hey, man. Chance Rackwell. You're fitting pretty nicely here.

00:37:37So I take it it was you two that spliced in the lovely pornography into the training video?

00:37:40Good old pizza slots.

00:37:42But doesn't Dale know about that?

00:37:44Why would the manager ever watch the training video?

00:37:47I guess that's true.

00:37:49All right, I'm going. I'll be back at ten to close out.

00:37:52And you guys keep an eye on Marvin, eh?

00:37:57See you later, Dale.

00:37:59Later, man.

00:38:01Finally. So what are we going to watch?

00:38:04Well, didn't Dale say we can't watch movies? Only the preview tapes?

00:38:07Dale's a huge wiener. So what do you want to watch?

00:38:10Uh, I don't know.

00:38:12Better pick something or I'll just put on Weekend at Bernie's 3.

00:38:15They made a Weekend at Bernie's 3?

00:38:17Yeah, Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman accidentally kill a prostitute in New York,

00:38:21and then they have to pretend that it's Bernie's wife. It's awesome.

00:38:24It's a family movie.

00:38:26Oh.

00:38:35Hey, new guy, what are you doing, man?

00:38:37What, are we not allowed to have this? I thought Dale said we get a discount.

00:38:41You have much to learn, man. We don't need to pay for stuff.

00:38:44Are you sure?

00:38:46Think about it, man. They have us working here for five straight hours.

00:38:49The least they can do is give us free food.

00:38:51And they don't care?

00:38:52They don't know.

00:38:53And we can rob this place blind and no one will know.

00:39:17Hey, make sure you lock it, man. This is my mom's ride.

00:39:20It's locked, man.

00:39:24Yo, yo, Ed.

00:39:25Marshall.

00:39:26What up, dude?

00:39:28You guys want to buy a town?

00:39:30No thanks, Blank.

00:39:32Are you sure, man?

00:39:33Pretty sure.

00:39:34Alright, alright.

00:39:36How about an industrial-strength vacuum, huh?

00:39:39Hey, actually, uh, you got that Linevaser UPLA?

00:39:44Oh, shit, man! Those are vacuums!

00:39:46Yeah!

00:39:47Yeah! No, I don't have that.

00:39:49Tell you what I do got, man.

00:39:50I got a ProStream Everest 2800.

00:39:53I'll hook you up, dude. A hundred bucks.

00:39:55Nah, man. Can't do it.

00:39:56What?!

00:39:57How are you turning down the ProStream?

00:39:59An Everest for a hundred?

00:40:01You gotta be kidding me.

00:40:02What do you got, like a Hoover? Wet bag?

00:40:04It's a Hoover.

00:40:05Yeah, yeah. What are you fucking around with Chinese tinker toys for, alright?

00:40:09You want American-made, ProStream, born in the USA.

00:40:13You cut the cord open, it bleeds red American blood.

00:40:16What's your price, man?

00:40:18Uh, let's start at a hundred. I'll knock it down to 75.

00:40:21Alright, man. Since you're making a deal for me, I'll make a deal for you.

00:40:24Awesome. Hardcore. There you go.

00:40:26And you're buying the dime bag.

00:40:27Awesome.

00:40:28I'll pick that up from you, uh, Tuesday.

00:40:30Alright, man. Your house is gonna be spotless. Spotless!

00:40:33This is gonna be great, man. Thank you so much.

00:40:35Awesome. Always a pleasure, my friend.

00:40:37Appreciate it, man.

00:40:38Always be closing.

00:40:39Take it easy.

00:40:40See you, dog.

00:40:43So, you think you need to try anything with that girl from work?

00:40:45I don't know, man.

00:40:46I don't know, man.

00:40:47She's a little out of my league, if you know what I mean.

00:40:49Carpe diem, my friend.

00:40:50Better to do something and regret it than not do anything at all.

00:40:53You know what, man? That's a good point.

00:40:55I might as well just give it a shot, and if I fail, then at least I tried.

00:40:58That's right, man. Try it and fail.

00:41:00It's the prune of the thing that matters.

00:41:02Prune?

00:41:03Yeah, it's like a, try it on plum?

00:41:05Big raisin? I don't know.

00:41:10Hey, check it out. Extra tender.

00:41:13No, put that, I don't want Kipper Beefsteak Nuggets. Put that down.

00:41:18Oh, shit. You hear that?

00:41:20So what? It's just a little music.

00:41:22No, you know whose song that is?

00:41:25No.

00:41:26Eddie Beach.

00:41:33Hey, guys. What's the haze?

00:41:36Hey, Eddie.

00:41:37Nothing, Eddie. What are you doing?

00:41:39I'm about to enjoy a delicious frozen beverage like you two gentlemen.

00:41:42Cool. I guess we'll be seeing you later, then.

00:41:45So I'll give you guys a call later? D&D? Yeah?

00:41:47Yeah, later. Bye, Eddie.

00:41:49All right. Enjoy your slurpees, guys.

00:41:51Yeah.

00:41:53So how are we going to raise $1,000 by next week?

00:41:55I don't know.

00:41:56Guess maybe slinging drugs like our buddy Blake out there.

00:41:59Oh, shit. That's what I just did.

00:42:04So let me get this straight.

00:42:06Twelve speeds, four, double-edged, diamond-cut, rotating blades?

00:42:12You're not going to find any fucking thing hotter than this blender right now.

00:42:16Chicks drop panties over this blender, man.

00:42:19Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about.

00:42:23Hmm.

00:42:24So, Blake, how did you get into the drug dealing slash home appliance black market business?

00:42:30I'm a pharmaceutical vendor and a rare appliance distributor.

00:42:36I got into it because I was watching that movie Rec Real, you know,

00:42:40where they're fucking making fat stacks of money, man, and fucking mad bitches.

00:42:44And I'm like, fuck that shit, yeah, man.

00:42:47I'm not going to fucking Mrs. Wilson's history class anymore.

00:42:50I'm sitting at home. I'm going to make my fat stacks and fuck my mad bitches and then just hang out.

00:42:55Dude, are you kidding me? The movie ended terribly.

00:42:58Everybody's life was ruined by addiction.

00:43:02Fuck, man. I never watched the end.

00:43:05Shit.

00:43:06Yeah, Jared Leto got his arm cut off.

00:43:08Oh, dude, the guy from My So-Called Life?

00:43:11Yeah.

00:43:12Oh, I saw it was the fat stacks and mad bitches part, man.

00:43:15Which arm?

00:43:16His left.

00:43:17Oh, crap!

00:43:22Shit.

00:43:23Yeah, well, we got to get going, man.

00:43:25It was good seeing you, though.

00:43:26Sorry to creep you out.

00:43:27A little bit.

00:43:28We'll see you later.

00:43:29Anyway, take it easy.

00:43:30Peace.

00:43:31See you later, man.

00:43:32Hey, lawnmower, 215.

00:43:35Vacuum.

00:43:36Sorry, lawnmower's the other guy.

00:43:40I'm going to go watch that movie.

00:43:43Oh, shit.

00:43:44What?

00:43:45You locked the keys in the car.

00:43:50Car trouble, boys?

00:43:51No, we're fine, Eddie. Thanks, though.

00:43:53You know, my uncle's a mechanic.

00:43:55Is he a locksmith?

00:43:56Well, no.

00:43:58Bye, Eddie.

00:43:59See you, guys.

00:44:00Oh, this is my gym?

00:44:02Hey, guys.

00:44:03What's up?

00:44:04I got this coat hanger.

00:44:05Do you know how to do that?

00:44:07Dude, where do you think I get most of my merchandise?

00:44:10All right, man, have at it.

00:44:16Hey, Lucas!

00:44:17Nope.

00:44:18Oh, shit.

00:44:19Cops.

00:44:20Anyone by?

00:44:24I don't see any cops.

00:44:26See, that's what drugs will do to you.

00:44:28That's what drugs will do to you.

00:44:38Back was open.

00:44:39I still don't see it.

00:44:41What? How could you not?

00:44:42I mean, it's got everything you could possibly ask for in a good movie.

00:44:45It's got comedy and action and drama and sci-fi.

00:44:49I mean, it's all right there.

00:44:52I still fail to see how Ghostbusters is one of the best movies ever made.

00:44:56It's one of.

00:44:57It's the best.

00:44:58I mean, the acting, the special effects, the directing, it's all top-notch.

00:45:03I mean, don't get me wrong.

00:45:04It's a good movie.

00:45:05It's just not great.

00:45:07Okay, how's this for proof?

00:45:09A good friend of mine had cancer, and he watched Ghostbusters every day.

00:45:13And now he's cured.

00:45:14I mean, what other movie can you honestly say cures cancer?

00:45:18Some time.

00:45:23Like crazy Rick Moranis, I tell ya.

00:45:25I still don't see how that's the best movie ever made.

00:45:27Well, you know, I guess you're entitled to your own opinion, no matter how wrong it may be.

00:45:31Funny.

00:45:32So, how was your first day of work yesterday?

00:45:34Did the guys give you a hard time?

00:45:36No, it wasn't that bad, actually.

00:45:37We, um, we set up a domino rally with the VHS tapes.

00:45:40That was fun.

00:45:41And so, basically, I got paid to dick around with the guys for like five hours.

00:45:44Well, don't get used to it.

00:45:45Because on the weekdays, you work alone, and it gets a little boring.

00:45:48Well, I don't work until, like, Tuesday.

00:45:50So, like, what do you say we, like, do something tomorrow?

00:45:53Sure.

00:45:54Why not?

00:45:55What do you have in mind?

00:45:56I don't know.

00:45:57Whatever.

00:45:58Just something, like, just the two of us, I guess.

00:45:59You mean, like, a date?

00:46:01Well, you can call it that if you want.

00:46:03I mean, I don't, you know, I don't want to put any pressure on you, but...

00:46:06Here, give me your hand.

00:46:08Dude, come here, quick.

00:46:09What?

00:46:10Dude.

00:46:11Just come here.

00:46:14Dude, can't this wait, man?

00:46:17Dude, no.

00:46:20Wedge is dead.

00:46:21Is this, like, the time you guys were the Russian mail order bride to my house?

00:46:25No, no, dude, I'm dead serious.

00:46:26What?

00:46:27When did this happen?

00:46:28I mean, how did this happen?

00:46:29I don't know.

00:46:30I don't know.

00:46:31I don't know.

00:46:32I don't know.

00:46:33I don't know.

00:46:34I don't know.

00:46:35I don't know.

00:46:36I mean, how?

00:46:38Yesterday while I was at work.

00:46:59Didn't you know how to swim?

00:47:00No, no, we tried that before.

00:47:01We couldn't figure it out.

00:47:03That's pretty ironic.

00:47:05Not really, though.

00:47:06The autopsy showed that he was also high from huffing pool cleaner.

00:47:08I stand corrected.

00:47:21Dude.

00:47:25Say something.

00:47:26Okay.

00:47:27Bow your heads.

00:47:29Okay.

00:47:34Wedge.

00:47:36You are our friend.

00:47:38Our brother.

00:47:40And our pool boy.

00:47:43We're all going to miss you.

00:47:45Things just aren't going to be the same without you.

00:47:58To me.

00:48:02All the places I'd ever seen.

00:48:08I had to leave them too.

00:48:14It won't be long till I'm somewhere new.

00:48:20Far away from this life.

00:48:23Yeah.

00:48:25We're going to miss you, buddy.

00:48:28Keep on rocking the afterworld.

00:48:32Hey, you guys think I can commit it alone?

00:48:34Yeah, sure.

00:48:36We'll meet you back at the car.

00:48:38Shotgun!

00:48:39Damn it.

00:48:49Wedge, I can't believe you're gone, man.

00:48:52All the good times we've had.

00:48:54All the places we've been.

00:48:56All the things we've done.

00:48:57It's just like yesterday, we got pulled over for

00:48:59mooning that undercover cop.

00:49:02Actually, that was last Wednesday.

00:49:05Wedge?

00:49:06The one and only.

00:49:07But how?

00:49:09I'm here to teach you how to be cool, you know.

00:49:11Like the Fonz.

00:49:12What? That's ridiculous.

00:49:14If you're going to come back from the dead,

00:49:15you might as well do something worthwhile.

00:49:17Like what?

00:49:18Spying on girls?

00:49:20In the locker room?

00:49:21No.

00:49:23Well.

00:49:25Wow.

00:49:29Marshall.

00:49:31Marshall, the coast is clear, man.

00:49:32Come on.

00:49:38Check out them keys, man.

00:49:40Wow.

00:49:42You ain't never seen nothing like that

00:49:43in grammar school, man.

00:49:45This totally rocks, dude.

00:49:46It's so good to have you back.

00:49:47Look at that kid, man.

00:49:49I bet he's on drugs.

00:49:51Most likely ecstasy.

00:49:52Damn kids and their designer drugs.

00:49:56So what are we going to do about the car?

00:49:58I don't know, dude.

00:49:59I know I'm your mentor and stuff,

00:50:00but that crash was wicked cool.

00:50:03I mean wicked cool.

00:50:04Yeah, good mentoring job so far.

00:50:05You fled the scene of an accident.

00:50:07How are we going to raise the money?

00:50:08Well, did you try a big sale?

00:50:10We've only got a week to raise over 600 bucks.

00:50:13Dude, they got big sales in heaven all day.

00:50:15What are you talking about?

00:50:16I need an idea to raise money.

00:50:17Well, it's like they say, man.

00:50:19Where there's a will,

00:50:21there's a way.

00:50:22Huh?

00:50:23They told me when I came down here,

00:50:24I had to speak in riddle.

00:50:26It's like a rule or something.

00:50:28You know, I own some pretty cool shit, man.

00:50:32I'm willing to bet you get some good use out of it.

00:50:36Oh, I get it.

00:50:37We can sell your stuff to raise the money.

00:50:38Great idea.

00:50:39Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:50:40You ain't selling any of my shit.

00:50:42Just check the fucking will, dumbass.

00:50:44Oh, I get it.

00:50:45Thanks.

00:50:47You see?

00:50:48Now they're getting pissed at me.

00:50:50So, what's it like being dead?

00:50:52It's kind of like a Def Leppard concert.

00:50:54Circa 1986.

00:50:56I can see that.

00:51:00I can't believe we gave this company to you.

00:51:02I can.

00:51:03I mean, who's going to give it to you?

00:51:05I was way cooler with Leonard.

00:51:07Dude, get it under control.

00:51:09This thing is just a little juicy.

00:51:12Oh, dude, that's fucking disgusting, dude.

00:51:14Hey, five second rule.

00:51:16How about a ten second rule?

00:51:18We all have our own standards.

00:51:19Yeah, we do, but we don't all have our own companies.

00:51:21Oh, wait, I do.

00:51:23No, but you don't even have your driver's license.

00:51:25So what?

00:51:26So, the whole company basically consists of this van.

00:51:29Yeah, and a cell phone.

00:51:31You got one of these?

00:51:32No.

00:51:34But, I mean, in all fairness,

00:51:35I have way more experience driving the Avenger than you do.

00:51:39Oh, shit, that's a juicy one.

00:51:41Auto-grab the wheel.

00:51:42What?

00:51:43I don't have a license.

00:51:44You don't need a license when you're sitting in the passenger seat.

00:51:46Grab the fucking wheel.

00:51:47Nice, my dad used to do this shit all the time, man.

00:51:50But maybe if you're lucky,

00:51:52I'll hire you as my driver.

00:51:54I've never even had a job.

00:51:56How do you expect to run an entire company?

00:51:57Yeah, last time anyone gave you any responsibility,

00:51:59you ended up flushing it down the toilet.

00:52:02Oh, squeaky.

00:52:04I love that damn fish.

00:52:06Dude, do you realize what this means?

00:52:08Yeah, oh my god.

00:52:10We'll hate the Avenger until we can hurt his parents' van.

00:52:13We'll switch and they won't even notice.

00:52:14That's brilliant.

00:52:15I'm glad I thought of that.

00:52:16I didn't know you were here.

00:52:18We can make money by cleaning pools

00:52:19to pay for the car repairs.

00:52:21Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second there, Kyler.

00:52:22Are we?

00:52:23This isn't one of a bunch of slackers

00:52:24like you guys working for me.

00:52:25This is legitimate business.

00:52:27Dude, where's Vern at home?

00:52:29I left him in the car.

00:52:30Uh-oh.

00:52:32Don't worry.

00:52:33I left the windows down.

00:52:34Oh, okay.

00:52:37I think.

00:52:39Get on your knees, bitch,

00:52:41and suck on these, bitch.

00:52:43I ain't saying please.

00:52:44Man, owning your own company is so kick-ass.

00:52:47Not that you would know.

00:52:49Although, it's a shitty pool-cleaning service.

00:52:51Oh, yeah, as opposed to that awesome

00:52:52pool-cleaning service that you own.

00:52:54We've had this company for like a day.

00:52:56We've got this butthole van.

00:52:58And what's up with these shirts?

00:52:59They're not shirts, they're uniforms, right?

00:53:00And they make us look more professional.

00:53:02You want to get fired on your first day?

00:53:03Keep that attitude up

00:53:04and you're not going to get invited

00:53:05to the company picnic.

00:53:07God, fire me?

00:53:08Who's going to drive the van, huh?

00:53:09Vern?

00:53:10He's passed out in the van.

00:53:11Whatever, you're just naysaying

00:53:12because you know this business

00:53:13is going to bag me all the hotties.

00:53:15Oh, yeah, for sure.

00:53:16But unfortunately, it's also going to,

00:53:18you know, attract all the undesirables.

00:53:20It's good that you got this

00:53:21new rejection hotline number.

00:53:22What is that?

00:53:24That's my way of putting down the uglies

00:53:25without having to deal with the guilt

00:53:26that's a result of telling them

00:53:27that I'm just not interested.

00:53:29Oh, so you give them a fake number.

00:53:30So what?

00:53:32Guys have been giving out fake numbers

00:53:33since like the dawn of time.

00:53:34Yeah, but when they call it that number,

00:53:35they get a personalized, pre-recorded message

00:53:36that lets them down easily.

00:53:38Although, you'd be lucky

00:53:39if a girl wanted your number.

00:53:41When was the last time you were on a date?

00:53:42I think it's about time

00:53:43to give those young hopefuls

00:53:44another stab at the Aldo.

00:53:45Whatever, you know,

00:53:46I'm going to do all the work

00:53:47for this company anyway,

00:53:48so it doesn't matter.

00:53:49Well, that's what I pay you for.

00:53:50You don't pay me!

00:53:51And not with that attitude.

00:53:54Whoa, whoa, watch.

00:53:55Watch what this guy,

00:53:56what's he doing, what's he doing?

00:53:57Get the fuck out of my way, Grandpa!

00:54:13Bitches toss my salad in my mouth.

00:54:27Is it supposed to smell like this?

00:54:29Yeah, because every pool that I swim in

00:54:30smells like straight bleach.

00:54:32I don't know,

00:54:33I've never cleaned a pool before.

00:54:34Didn't you go with Wedge

00:54:35one time to clean a pool?

00:54:37Yeah, let's just say

00:54:38I wasn't ready for what that internship

00:54:39entailed that day.

00:54:40Listen up, Aldo.

00:54:41A couple quick things

00:54:42you need to learn

00:54:43about cleaning dead squirrels

00:54:44out of a pool.

00:54:45First off,

00:54:46you got to drain the pool completely.

00:54:47Even though a little chlorine

00:54:48will wash that stink right out,

00:54:50it's just considered

00:54:51bad form in the industry.

00:54:52There's an industry?

00:54:53Industry, man.

00:54:54Fuck yeah, and it's huge.

00:54:56That's the squirrel

00:54:57if I've ever seen one.

00:54:58Oh, dude, I don't know,

00:54:59it looks like a cat.

00:55:00That's a squirrel.

00:55:01How are we going to get it out?

00:55:03Like so.

00:55:05Oh, dude, man,

00:55:06that's not sanitary, is it?

00:55:08Woo, she stinks too, man.

00:55:09Take a smell of that.

00:55:10Oh, somebody get the diesel.

00:55:12I don't know

00:55:13what the hell I'm doing.

00:55:14I've never cleaned a pool.

00:55:15Maybe it'll just go away

00:55:16when it's done cleaning itself.

00:55:18Ah, it tingles.

00:55:23Um, well,

00:55:24we're all done out here.

00:55:26Is it supposed to be

00:55:27cloudy like that?

00:55:28You know, I have no...

00:55:30Um, yeah, you know,

00:55:31it's called an after clean.

00:55:33We in the business

00:55:34call it an after clean.

00:55:35After clean, it's a

00:55:36standard procedure.

00:55:37But, um, yeah,

00:55:38I'd say it just

00:55:39run the filter for two,

00:55:40maybe three days

00:55:41until it clears up.

00:55:43But, yeah,

00:55:44it should be safe

00:55:45to swim until then.

00:55:47Okay, so how much

00:55:48do I owe you?

00:55:49Uh, your total comes

00:55:50to $103.12.

00:55:53All right.

00:55:54There you go.

00:55:56All right, looks good, eh?

00:55:57And I, uh,

00:55:58left my phone number on it

00:55:59in case you wanted

00:56:00to give me a call sometime.

00:56:01Oh, yeah, you did.

00:56:03Okay, well, um,

00:56:04yeah.

00:56:05Well?

00:56:06Well, what?

00:56:08Well, aren't you

00:56:09going to give me

00:56:10your phone number?

00:56:11Um, yeah, uh,

00:56:13I got a new cell phone.

00:56:15Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:56:16Um, I don't know

00:56:17the number off hand.

00:56:18I think I got it here.

00:56:20Yeah, here we go.

00:56:21It's, uh,

00:56:22here you go.

00:56:23It's 773...

00:56:24Okay.

00:56:25Uh, 445...

00:56:2849...

00:56:3059.

00:56:33And that chicken

00:56:35Man, that chick

00:56:36is creeping me out.

00:56:40Although at this rate,

00:56:41it doesn't look like

00:56:42we're going to be able

00:56:43to get enough money

00:56:44to fix her aunt's van.

00:56:45I mean, we'd need to rob

00:56:46a liquor store

00:56:47for that kind of money.

00:56:48Let's hope that Marshall's

00:56:49making good cash

00:56:50over at Village Video.

00:56:51Village Video, huh?

00:56:54Does it have to be

00:56:55a liquor store?

00:56:57Don't worry, man.

00:56:58You look kicky.

00:56:59What the fuck, man?

00:57:00You've got to stop

00:57:01doing that to me.

00:57:02Sorry, man.

00:57:03It's just fun as hell.

00:57:04You look fly, though.

00:57:05What are you doing here, man?

00:57:06I've got a date.

00:57:07Dude, I'm here to help you

00:57:08out on your date, remember?

00:57:09Yeah, thanks, man,

00:57:10but I think I got it

00:57:11under control.

00:57:12Oh, man, come on.

00:57:13Let me just give you

00:57:14a hand, man.

00:57:15I'm really bored.

00:57:16There's nothing to do

00:57:17when you're dead.

00:57:18What have you been doing

00:57:19since you died anyway, man?

00:57:20Dude, I don't know.

00:57:21Nothing.

00:57:22I've been working

00:57:23for a while now.

00:57:24I've been working

00:57:25for a while now.

00:57:26Dude, I don't know.

00:57:27Nothing really.

00:57:28Just made this kick-ass

00:57:29mixtape for you

00:57:30on your date, man.

00:57:31Yeah, all right.

00:57:32What's on it?

00:57:33Man, only some

00:57:34of the greatest

00:57:35rock ballads

00:57:36ever made, my friend.

00:57:37You put on

00:57:38Heaven By Warrant

00:57:39and she'll melt

00:57:40like butter

00:57:41in a frying pan.

00:57:42Dude, get out of here.

00:57:43She comes, man.

00:57:44Aw, dude,

00:57:45she can't see me.

00:57:46Just get out.

00:57:47I'm not even joking.

00:57:48Get out.

00:57:49I'll kill you.

00:57:50Fine, dude.

00:57:51Besides, I'm about

00:57:52to touch your cleavage

00:57:53with my dead hand.

00:57:54Oh.

00:57:59Sorry.

00:58:00It does that sometimes.

00:58:01Oh, that's okay.

00:58:02So where are we going?

00:58:03You'll see.

00:58:05Little Jones

00:58:06is attending

00:58:07a coffee shop.

00:58:08He's about to be him.

00:58:09Got his face buried deep

00:58:10into the notebook

00:58:11he's been writing in.

00:58:12Got a couple

00:58:13of friends around.

00:58:14They ask him

00:58:15what you're writing about.

00:58:16But he gets up

00:58:17not having heard

00:58:18anything they said.

00:58:19He says,

00:58:20I don't know.

00:58:21I don't know.

00:58:22I don't know.

00:58:23I don't know.

00:58:24I don't know.

00:58:25I don't know.

00:58:26I don't know.

00:58:27I don't know.

00:58:28I don't know.

00:58:29I don't know.

00:58:30I don't know.

00:58:31I don't know.

00:58:32I don't know.

00:58:33I don't know.

00:58:34I don't know.

00:58:35I don't know.

00:58:36I don't know.

00:58:37I don't know.

00:58:38I don't know.

00:58:39I don't know.

00:58:40I don't know.

00:58:41I don't know.

00:58:42I don't know.

00:58:43I don't know.

00:58:44I don't know.

00:58:45I don't know.

00:58:46I don't know.

00:58:47I don't know.

00:58:48I don't know.

00:58:49I don't know.

00:58:50I don't know.

00:58:51I don't know.

00:58:52I don't know.

00:58:53I don't know.

00:58:54I don't know.

00:58:55I don't know.

00:58:56I don't know.

00:58:57I don't know.

00:58:58I don't know.

00:58:59I don't know.

00:59:00I don't know.

00:59:01I don't know.

00:59:02I don't know.

00:59:03I don't know.

00:59:04I don't know.

00:59:05I don't know.

00:59:06I don't know.

00:59:07I don't know.

00:59:08I don't know.

00:59:09I don't know.

00:59:10I don't know.

00:59:11I don't know.

00:59:12I don't know.

00:59:13I don't know.

00:59:14I don't know.

00:59:15I don't know.

00:59:16I don't know.

00:59:17I don't know.

00:59:18I don't know.

00:59:19I don't know.

00:59:20I don't know.

00:59:21I don't know.

00:59:22I don't know.

00:59:23I don't know.

00:59:24I don't know.

00:59:25I don't know.

00:59:26I don't know.

00:59:27I don't know.

00:59:28I don't know.

00:59:29I don't know.

00:59:30I don't know.

00:59:31I don't know.

00:59:32I don't know.

00:59:33I don't know.

00:59:34I don't know.

00:59:35I don't know.

00:59:36I don't know.

00:59:37I don't know.

00:59:38I don't know.

00:59:39I don't know.

00:59:40I don't know.

00:59:41I don't know.

00:59:42I don't know.

00:59:43I don't know.

00:59:44I don't know.

00:59:45I don't know.

00:59:46I don't know.

00:59:47I don't know.

00:59:48I don't know.

00:59:49I don't know.

00:59:50I don't know.

00:59:51I don't know.

00:59:52I don't know.

00:59:53I don't know.

00:59:54I don't know.

00:59:55I don't know.

00:59:56I don't know.

00:59:57I don't know.

00:59:58I don't know.

00:59:59I don't know.

01:00:00Hey, I would like to rent all the fucking money now.

01:00:03I don't think we have that one.

01:00:10Oh.

01:00:12Now.

01:00:14Come on.

01:00:18Sometime this morning will be nice.

01:00:19Just wait.

01:00:20Although.

01:00:21How did you know it was me man.

01:00:22Because the only person that I know that thinks three thirty in the afternoon is the morning.

01:00:27Damn it. What the hell do you think you're doing?

01:00:30You said it yourself. We can rob this place blind. There's zero security.

01:00:34I'm at Still Candy and shit, not armed robbery.

01:00:37Well, it's too late for that now.

01:00:40No, it's not. And what's with this costume?

01:00:43It's not a costume. It's a disguise.

01:00:45From who? Me? And would you stop putting this gun at me?

01:00:48What? It's just a toy.

01:00:50Ah, what are you doing? It's my favorite shirt.

01:00:52No, it's not. Your favorite shirt's that blue one with the alligator and the little...

01:00:55Just shut up. Just shut up. How do you even expect to get away with this?

01:00:59What do you mean? How do I expect to not get away with it?

01:01:01You just give me the money, you call the cops, you give me a fake description of the perpetrator.

01:01:04Everybody wins.

01:01:05How does everybody win? The video store loses money, I run the risk of losing my job,

01:01:09we all run the risk of going to jail.

01:01:11Don't worry, dude. This plan's airtight.

01:01:14You do realize that this plan is flawed. Like, you don't even need this disguise.

01:01:18If anything, it's just going to make it worse. Someone's going to see you and call the cops.

01:01:21You're an idiot.

01:01:22Just put the money in the bag.

01:01:26You got a paper bag for that?

01:01:33Jackal to Gopher. Jackal to Gopher, what's your 20?

01:01:37What's that?

01:01:38Come in, Gopher. What's your 20?

01:01:39What's that?

01:01:40It's Derek in the getaway van.

01:01:43Copy that, Jackal. This is Gopher. The Hebrew deli is being cleaned.

01:01:46I repeat, the Hebrew deli is being cleaned.

01:01:48Gopher, hurry up!

01:01:49There's this homeless guy trying to clean the windows.

01:01:51We're still going to jail for this.

01:01:55Fuck yeah.

01:02:13You got it?

01:02:14Yeah, I got it. Go, go, go!

01:02:17Fuck yeah.

01:02:18Fuck yeah.

01:02:25Bad news, dude. Looks like the video store wasn't the lucrative business we thought it was.

01:02:30Oh yeah? How much did we get?

01:02:32$327.52.

01:02:34So how much is that total?

01:02:36Well, with the Canada money, that brief stint with the lemonade stand and the one pool that we cleaned,

01:02:41that's only like $800, give or take a few.

01:02:44Yeah, but Marshall's got that check coming from the video store, right?

01:02:47Although, when you have a real job, you get paid once every two weeks.

01:02:50And he only started working there like a week ago.

01:02:52Assuming that he doesn't get fired for that stunt that we pulled.

01:02:55Yeah, or arrested. I bet he ratted us out, that stool pigeon.

01:02:59Oh, we should get out of here.

01:03:01Probably put an APB out on the van.

01:03:03So where are we going to hide out?

01:03:05I don't know.

01:03:06I'm thinking someplace that the cops would never look to find us.

01:03:10The Aqua Garage?

01:03:12That works for me.

01:03:17Think you could help me out in here?

01:03:19Hey man, I'm in the office, alright? I gotta watch the phones in case a customer calls.

01:03:22So how about that girl the other day?

01:03:24I think there's something between you two.

01:03:26The only thing that's in between me and that girl is gonna be a leash.

01:03:29Luckily I dropped that fake-ass number on her.

01:03:31Man, you wonder why you can't get a date.

01:03:33Hey, I'm just picky when it comes to women, alright?

01:03:35Unlucky's more like it.

01:03:36Whatever.

01:03:38So did you talk to Marshall? Did he say anything about that girl from work?

01:03:41No, not to me. But you know him, he'll probably mess that up soon enough.

01:03:44Speak of the devil.

01:03:45Oh shit, how'd he find us here?

01:03:47I cannot believe you guys!

01:03:48I know, it was a good plan, right? Come on, my idea.

01:03:50I can't believe you didn't even go over this with me beforehand.

01:03:52We couldn't, you were at work.

01:03:54I thought the element of surprise would add to the realism of your story.

01:03:56Yeah, what'd you tell the cops anyway?

01:03:57Uh, he was tall, probably about 6'3", 200 pounds, black.

01:04:02He had a stocking over his face and a big gun.

01:04:05I think it was an Uzi, you know, like the one rappers use.

01:04:07Yeah, that's the guy. It's definitely that guy. Sketchy looking.

01:04:11See, we're fine.

01:04:12There's no way they're ever going to figure out that it was just a couple of incompetent teenagers.

01:04:16Yeah, I guess you're right.

01:04:17Bad news though, we still don't have enough money to fix the van.

01:04:20That's what I figured. The cops said the guy only made away with $300.

01:04:23So that means we're still $200 short.

01:04:25We got time though, right? Vern's parents aren't coming home for a while, right?

01:04:28No man, think about it. It's going to take a couple of days to actually fix the car once we get the money.

01:04:32So that means we have to get it done in like two or three days before Vern's parents even get home.

01:04:36We're so screwed.

01:04:37Hey brothers, what's going on?

01:04:39Uh, I gotta go take a piss.

01:04:42You're gonna leave fucking up my van, aren't you?

01:04:44Just use the alley, the plumbing's still shut off.

01:04:49Just stand there and get back to work. We got a business to run.

01:04:52Fucking slacker.

01:04:58Ah, shit. You gotta stop doing that, man.

01:05:01How you doing, brother?

01:05:02Fine. What the hell are you doing?

01:05:04Just coming to check out the Habs, see how things are going, man.

01:05:07How was that date with you and Kaylee the other night?

01:05:09It's Kayla. It was fine.

01:05:11Did you, uh, finger the twiddle?

01:05:14What dude? No.

01:05:16Did you, uh, gobble the goodies?

01:05:19No, man.

01:05:20Did you give her a goddamn hug for Christ's sake?

01:05:22What? Just drop it. You gotta help me out on this whole money thing, man.

01:05:26Money?

01:05:28Now I know I'm supposed to be your financial advisor and mentor and everything,

01:05:31but that goddamned robbery you guys pulled off the other night was phenomenal.

01:05:34You guys were in there like Judas Priest.

01:05:36Breaking the law, breaking the law.

01:05:42Wedge, focus. We gotta work together, man.

01:05:45That boy's got some deep-rooted psychological issues.

01:05:48I blame TV and video games.

01:05:51I got an idea, man.

01:05:53I'm gonna go home and watch Party of Five. Catch you later.

01:05:56Party of Five? They took that off the air like seven years ago.

01:06:00I know it's not your birthday,

01:06:02but that doesn't mean you can't party like it was your birthday.

01:06:06I get what you're saying.

01:06:08I should throw a party.

01:06:10Bet you will.

01:06:11Thanks, Wedge.

01:06:12Don't thank me, man.

01:06:14Thank Mexican music.

01:06:16A party?

01:06:17Dude, that's a bad idea.

01:06:18Why? Remember what happened last time we went to a party?

01:06:23I am a golden god!

01:06:27Marshall, man, come on. Get down from there.

01:06:31That wasn't me. It's from a movie.

01:06:33Oh.

01:06:34Wait, then who did I sing Tiny Dancer with on that bus?

01:06:49Are you sure that wasn't you?

01:06:51Pretty sure.

01:06:52How about this party?

01:06:53Now, you do realize we don't know the first thing about throwing parties.

01:06:56You're right. We don't. But the mayor does.

01:06:59Who's the mayor?

01:07:00Daley?

01:07:01He's the most popular kid in the 11th grade.

01:07:03He's known for his huge summer bashes.

01:07:05How'd he get the nickname The Mayor?

01:07:07Well, I think he gave it to himself.

01:07:14Oh, no, thank you, gentlemen.

01:07:15I'm currently satisfied with my religion of choice. Good day.

01:07:18No, wait.

01:07:19We're not trying to sell anything. We need your help.

01:07:21And I know you how?

01:07:23From school.

01:07:24Fag tag!

01:07:28Oh, man.

01:07:31Well, what do you fellas want with me?

01:07:33We need $200.

01:07:34See ya.

01:07:36We need you to help us throw a party.

01:07:42I'm listening.

01:07:43Well, it seems as though you fellas are in quite the predicament.

01:07:46But what's in it for me?

01:07:48Well, we'll throw a free pool cleaning.

01:07:51We'll give you all the money we make over the needed $200.

01:07:54Okay, I'll do it.

01:07:56But if we're gonna do it, we're gonna do it right.

01:07:58First, we're gonna need a theme.

01:08:00Beach party.

01:08:01Second, we're gonna need some capital.

01:08:03You know, for things like sand, tiki torches, fake palm trees, delays.

01:08:07Whoa, whoa, hold on there, Daley Warbucks.

01:08:09The whole point of this is to make money, not to spend it.

01:08:11Sometimes you gotta spend money to make money.

01:08:13Well, how much is it for the shitty high school keg party theme?

01:08:16Keg, cups, $75.

01:08:20Yeah, we'll take that one.

01:08:31It'll get better.

01:08:32Right?

01:08:33I'm sure it will. Cheer up.

01:08:35You guys did remember to actually tell people about the party, didn't you?

01:08:38No. Isn't that your department?

01:08:40That's what we're paying you for, isn't it?

01:08:42Great. The way this party's going, I ain't gonna sit and die.

01:08:46This is such a waste of money.

01:08:48Well, um, I got some places to be.

01:08:51I'll, uh, see you kids later. Have fun with this whole party thing.

01:08:54Wait, you can't just leave us here. Where are you going?

01:08:57Over to a keg in the cemetery.

01:08:59I'll go check out that scene, see what it's like.

01:09:01See you, kids. Uh, enjoy.

01:09:07I knew we should have went with the ghost in the graveyard theme.

01:09:11Alright.

01:09:13What the hell are we gonna do now? We only made like 20 bucks from this shitty party.

01:09:16Just try to have fun. Loosen up. We probably started an hour ago.

01:09:20It might get better.

01:09:22Yeah, I'm gonna grow a second nut.

01:09:24What?

01:09:25Huh?

01:09:27Hey, guys. What's going on? Mind if I join you?

01:09:30Um, this is Gretchen.

01:09:32Gretchen, this is, uh, Marshall, Kayla, Derek.

01:09:36Nice to meet you all.

01:09:38Hey, Gretchen, you want a drink? Cup's only five dollars.

01:09:40Oh, no, thanks. I brought my own.

01:09:44You know, the whole reason we have him at this party is so he can raise money for us.

01:09:47Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back, honey.

01:09:50Mm-hmm. Okay.

01:09:51Uh, yeah, it's, uh, right down there.

01:09:53Oh, thanks.

01:09:54Have fun.

01:09:56Hey, Studley Moore. Where'd you pick up that cutie? The playground?

01:09:59Why the hell is she here?

01:10:01She called me to go to a party and I couldn't lie to her because I knew I'd end up seeing her here.

01:10:04Why didn't you give her the fail-proof number? You know, the rejection hotline?

01:10:07Yeah, I did. And, lucky me, she lost it.

01:10:10So she called up the Aquavenger number, which was on the side of the damn van.

01:10:13That sucks.

01:10:15Good luck with that. I'm gonna show my love for that fine-looking young lady in the corner over there.

01:10:21Have at it.

01:10:26Hey, what's going on?

01:10:27Oh, hey.

01:10:29How about no?

01:10:30More.

01:10:31No?

01:10:32More.

01:10:33No?

01:10:34More.

01:10:37No?

01:10:38A little bit more.

01:10:39No?

01:10:40Okay, that's good.

01:10:43Hey, Kayla, you wanna join me outside for a smoke?

01:10:45Sure.

01:10:46You smoke?

01:10:47No, I'm just gonna keep her company.

01:10:51I mean, it's not like that girl from years. She knows how to get rid of people, I don't mind.

01:10:54How's it, uh, working for you two?

01:10:56Oh, pretty good. I helped her dad move a couch the other day.

01:10:59Oh, really? How'd that go?

01:11:01Lift it up!

01:11:02Hold on, let me get underneath. I don't have any footing.

01:11:04It's slipping!

01:11:05It's slipping!

01:11:07Don't do it!

01:11:08What are you doing?

01:11:09Push it up towards me.

01:11:10Can you lift it up? You're gonna cut my head off.

01:11:12I'm a little stuck here. Can you back up? Can you back up?

01:11:16I can't lift it.

01:11:21Pretty good.

01:11:22Yeah, so I'm thinking of attending Southern, because it's like a total party school.

01:11:26Oh my God. This girl is a total ditz.

01:11:29I bet she's one of those girls that watches Sex and the City and gossips about it with her bimbo friends.

01:11:33What a loser.

01:11:34I have to get out of here.

01:11:36I was thinking about attending Northwestern.

01:11:38They have a great pre-med program.

01:11:40Ew, he's like a total loser.

01:11:42He's all into science and shit.

01:11:44I bet he watches X-Files and gossips about it online with his nerdy geek boy friends.

01:11:49I really like the X-Files.

01:11:52Oh, I hope he doesn't ask for my number.

01:11:54Maybe if I give him a number, he'll go away.

01:11:57I think that I could excel in their advanced honors program.

01:11:59Wow, that's interesting.

01:12:01I think it's really cool that you're into medicine and drugs and stuff.

01:12:06Let me give you my number. Maybe we can do something this summer.

01:12:09Oh no, she wants to do something this summer.

01:12:11Quick, think of something.

01:12:13Sure, that sounds great. I'll give you my number too.

01:12:17Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

01:12:36Have no fear. Wedge is here.

01:12:40And he brought ghost beer.

01:12:42This party's fucking lame. I'm out of here.

01:12:49Shit, did you hear that?

01:12:52Hey guys, what about a party?

01:12:55Oh yeah, the best. Hey man, you want a cup? Five bucks.

01:12:59No, I have BMOP. I brought my own pot.

01:13:01Fuck, is anyone buying beer at this party?

01:13:04Eddie man, can you leave us alone for a little bit?

01:13:06We gotta figure out how to raise 200 more dollars to fix Vern's car.

01:13:10You guys know my uncle, he's a mechanic. He could probably do that real cheap.

01:13:14Wow, that's great Eddie. Could you just go away?

01:13:16Wait a second, what did you say?

01:13:18I said could you just go away, not you.

01:13:20Yeah, my uncle's Seymour. He runs an auto shop out of his garage.

01:13:25I'm just warning you guys, my uncle's from Vermont, so if he acts kinda weird, just ignore him.

01:13:30Oh yeah, and he's a vegetarian.

01:13:32Hey man, as long as he doesn't hit on me, I'm cool with it.

01:13:35I said vegetarian, not...

01:13:39I'm happy with my religion of choice, guys.

01:13:42Uncle Seymour, it's me, Eddie. Your nephew?

01:13:46Oh, Eddie! Right. Hey, hi Eddie.

01:13:50Hey, did you listen to that record I got you?

01:13:52No, not yet. I don't have a record player, but I'm gonna see if they have it on CD. The Evil Dead, right?

01:13:56Grateful Dead, Eddie. The Grateful Dead.

01:13:58Right.

01:13:59What are you guys doing here?

01:14:00Well, my friends are here to help with their car.

01:14:02Yeah, yeah, of course. Come on in, we'll see what we can do.

01:14:04Yeah.

01:14:17Would you just turn it off?

01:14:19Dude, there's a break in and we have to pay for it.

01:14:26Boys.

01:14:27Alright, I can fix this up no problem.

01:14:30Needs a radiator, that back bumper, front grill, some body work.

01:14:34I can probably go down to the scrap yard and get most of the parts.

01:14:37Hey, you guys want me to fix this up so it runs on water like my car?

01:14:40Your car runs on water?

01:14:41Yeah.

01:14:42Like tap water?

01:14:43Bottled water.

01:14:45Uh, no, that won't be necessary.

01:14:47Sure?

01:14:48Yeah.

01:14:49Alright, well I reset your preset, so check that out.

01:14:51I'm thinking, you guys are friends of Eddie's, we could do it for like 700 bucks.

01:14:56That's great. How long will it take?

01:14:58Get started now, Saturday, Sunday at the latest.

01:15:02If we could have it done by Saturday, that would be great.

01:15:04Yeah, Vern's parents are coming home around noon, noon-thirty.

01:15:07Okay, I can do that.

01:15:09Thank you so much, sir, we owe you one.

01:15:11Yeah, no problem. You don't owe me, you owe Eddie.

01:15:14So you guys owe me. Do you want to play D&D later?

01:15:17Fuck yeah, man.

01:15:18Sounds like it'll be a lot of fun. Um, I'm pumped.

01:15:21Yeah, I'll make some hummus and veggie burgers.

01:15:24Yay.

01:15:28Phone ringing.

01:15:32Phone ringing.

01:15:36Phone ringing.

01:15:40Phone ringing.

01:15:43Phone ringing.

01:15:44Honey, how long do I get until I press this button?

01:15:47Is this the button?

01:15:48Hi, this is the phone.

01:15:49Hello?

01:15:50We're not home right now, so please leave a message after the beep.

01:15:52Hello?

01:15:54Hello?

01:15:55Hello?

01:15:56Hi, Vernon. It's your mother.

01:15:58I just wanted to let you know that there was an accident during, um, one of the, uh, trust exercises.

01:16:06And that we, I mean, I will be coming home early.

01:16:09Fucking shit.

01:16:10So, see you in a bit, honey. Love ya. Bye.

01:16:13Derek!

01:16:15Hey, Derek!

01:16:19Shit.

01:16:21Shit, guys, wake up!

01:16:22We gotta wake up!

01:16:25Keep your fucking shirt on.

01:16:26Wake up!

01:16:27What?

01:16:28We gotta go.

01:16:29What?

01:16:30You guys, wake up. We gotta go.

01:16:31Vernon's parents are coming home early. They're gonna be here in less than an hour.

01:16:33Well, what are we gonna do?

01:16:34Um, okay, you go get the van, and I'll, no, I'll go get the van.

01:16:39You guys stay here and clean the shithole up, and try to wake Vernon out of his coma.

01:16:42Gotcha.

01:16:44Okay. Eddie, come with me.

01:16:52We gotta go!

01:16:55Fuck!

01:16:57Fuck!

01:17:15Let's go!

01:17:19Let's go!

01:17:21Let's go!

01:17:23Let's go!

01:17:25Here's the ticket, let's go, he just took it

01:17:29I'm ready to go, to see the show, ready to go check

01:17:32They said, please have some care for my coach

01:17:36When I got there, he took it and he gave it to me

01:17:40He had lost my, lost my coach

01:17:43Let's go, I'd like to have it, let's go

01:17:46Here's the ticket, let's go, he just took it

01:17:50Let's go, I'd like to have it, let's go

01:17:53Here's the ticket, let's go, he just took it

01:17:56Shit!

01:18:16Hey, uh, you're home

01:18:20Hey, honey, look who's home

01:18:24Come help your mother with her bags

01:18:26Hi, Ma

01:18:27Hey, why are you all wet?

01:18:30I just took a shower

01:18:32Okay, well, I see you didn't burn the house down

01:18:34Um, yeah, you know, everything's copacetic here

01:18:37The garage is coming up great

01:18:39Good

01:18:40So, everything's fine

01:18:42Where's, uh, Dad?

01:18:43Um, he's, uh

01:18:45Don't worry about it, honey, he's fine

01:18:48You know what, I'm going to get something to eat

01:18:50The food at the compound, the farm, was absolutely horrible

01:18:54Do you want to come?

01:18:55You know what, why don't we eat here?

01:18:57No, I'm just not in the mood to be cooking right now

01:19:00Plus, that new Applebee's opened up at the plaza

01:19:02Um, you know, I'm not even hungry

01:19:04Actually, uh, big breakfast

01:19:06So, I'm going to go to Marshall's house

01:19:08Okay, well, have it your way, but you're missing out

01:19:10Applebee's

01:19:12Yeah, okay

01:19:14Well, let's take the bags in

01:19:16Oh, wait, I don't want to forget

01:19:18I picked this up at the gift shop

01:19:20You're going to love it

01:19:22It's your favorite color

01:19:25Ma?

01:19:27My favorite color is ivory

01:19:29Like the tusks of an elephant

01:19:31For the last time

01:19:32Okay, well, let's take the bags in and try it on anyway

01:19:42Oh, I'm going off to Applebee's

01:19:44Okay

01:19:48Vernon?

01:19:52Yeah?

01:19:55Yeah, what's up?

01:19:56Did you wash the van?

01:19:58Yeah, of course I did

01:20:00You're the best son money could buy

01:20:03I wish your father was here to see it

01:20:06Well, I'm going to head off to Applebee's

01:20:08You have a good time, alright?

01:20:09Bye

01:20:12Um

01:20:35Everything worked out alright then, huh?

01:20:37Yeah, thanks to Eddie Beetz and his neo-hippie uncle

01:20:40See, if you'd have never thrown that shitty party the way you put it

01:20:43We'd have never met Eddie and you would have never gotten your car fixed

01:20:46So, in some weird way, this party was kind of a blessing

01:20:49I guess you're right

01:20:51As always

01:20:52Yeah, that's coming from a girl who thinks dirty dancing is the most romantic movie ever

01:20:55Come on, now, it is

01:20:57Yeah, Patrick Swayze in a leotard is very romantic

01:20:59Okay, your idea of romance is a jumbo slice of pizza and mini golf?

01:21:04Hey, you know, a jumbo slice of pizza may not be the most romantic thing in the whole world

01:21:07But it was three dollars for the slice and the pop

01:21:09And for a guy who has a thousand dollars in debt, I think it was pretty romantic

01:21:12Yeah, it was pretty romantic for a cheap ass

01:21:15Whatever

01:21:20How was that for romance?

01:21:23Hmm, you know Patrick Swayze

01:21:25Well, you know, I kind of fancy myself more as Kevin Bacon from Footloose anyways

01:21:29The way that you dance? You should be banned

01:21:32Hey, very funny

01:21:34But, I don't know, I gotta leave, I gotta meet the guys in a few

01:21:36Yeah, I should probably get home too

01:21:38Do you want to do something tomorrow?

01:21:40I'd love that

01:21:42Okay, then it's a date, if that's what you want to call it

01:21:45Let's go

01:21:50Man, I can't believe you guys pulled all that off

01:21:52You know, thanks to you, you were passed out the whole time

01:21:55You guys crashed my car

01:21:57Excuses, excuses

01:22:01Well, everything's fine now, and that's what's important

01:22:04Man, all that hard work and we can't even tell our parents about it

01:22:08Well, Aldo can't tell his parents because they abandoned him

01:22:10Fuck you dude, take me home

01:22:12Dude, chill out, I'll take you home if you take Vern home

01:22:16Fine

01:22:17Ooh, shotgun

01:22:22Man, I really appreciate you helping me out with all this

01:22:25No problem man, I had a little help myself

01:22:29Hey Wedge

01:22:31You can see him?

01:22:32Yeah, of course I can see him, he's right there

01:22:34Why wouldn't I be able to see him?

01:22:36Because he's dead

01:22:41When did this happen?

01:22:46Man, you missed a lot while you were out

01:22:48Yeah, obviously

01:22:50Did I mention I have a girlfriend now?

01:22:52No, good for you

01:22:54Yeah, I got robbed

01:22:56By Aldo

01:22:58It's only a matter of time before that boy turned to cry

01:23:00Yeah, we threw a party at your place

01:23:03Alright

01:23:04You were there, seemed like you had a good time

01:23:06Wait, what?

01:23:07Yeah, Aldo got his own company now

01:23:10Man, I have been gone for a while

01:23:12Mom, what the hell is this?

01:23:31Pretty nice, huh?

01:23:33It's a Mazda XL40, I don't know

01:23:38But the man at the dealer said

01:23:40It's all the rage of you kids

01:23:42Or was it rave?

01:23:44What the hell is it doing here?

01:23:46Well, you were so good while we were gone

01:23:48I decided to sell the van and buy you this

01:23:50Your father would have wanted it this way

01:23:53Here you go

01:23:56Didn't come in ivory?

01:24:00I want you guys to all write a thousand times

01:24:02What I got on the board here, alright?

01:24:04What do you want?

01:24:06Yeah, Coach Peters, do you want us to write it in cursive

01:24:08Or do you want it printed?

01:24:09I'm Professor Peters too, buddy

01:24:11You're not a professor though, you're just a gym coach

01:24:13You want another jug?

01:24:14Get down here and give me 25

01:24:18Come on, throw some testicles you woman

01:24:20You pansy ass

01:24:22Get your ass down

01:24:23Was your boyfriend here? Let's go

01:24:25You struggling? Get off your knees, let's go

01:24:30What happens if you drive with the club on anyway?

01:24:40Is it safe to go in?

01:24:41Yeah, they said it was

01:24:51Sounds like an emergency, I better get my ball

01:24:58Hello, you've reached the rejection hotline and voicemail box of Aldo Brown

01:25:01I'm sorry, but if I gave you this number

01:25:03That means you're probably annoying, uninteresting, or just plain ugly

01:25:07Sorry to disappoint you, and good luck with your ongoing search for romance

01:25:10You'll need it

01:25:12Thanks for calling

01:25:13Oh, and to send a fax, press start now

01:25:17This marks the first instance of a primate being charged with statutory rape

01:25:23Also happening in the law today

01:25:25Police arrested this man, Harold Widgler

01:25:28In connection with the robbery of a local video store

01:25:31After evading the cops for over five days

01:25:33Harold was found wandering into a bank

01:25:36It is suspected that he was casing the location for a future robbery

01:25:40Although Harold insists he was merely cashing a check

01:25:43He still claims that he is innocent

01:25:45And awaits an official trial

01:25:48In other news, we go to Channel 19 reporter Jace Mellenbrook

01:25:52For an undercover investigation into the seedy world of fraudulent pool cleaning services

01:25:57Jace takes us deep inside this lucrative crime ring

01:26:01And begs the question

01:26:03Are these men aqua friends or aqua foes?

01:26:06Yeah, uh, that guy, that guy doesn't got a case

01:26:09There's no scientific evidence that shows, you know

01:26:12The red stuff that turns your pee, your pee red

01:26:15You know, when you go in the pool

01:26:16There's no evidence that shows that that causes impotency

01:26:33Ha, ha, ha

01:26:41Alright, brothers

01:26:43Are you ready to rock?

01:26:45We're gonna rock your socks off

01:26:47Let's go

01:26:51Oh yeah

01:26:56Rock and roll

01:26:58U.S.A

01:27:00Rock and roll

01:27:02In the U.S.A

01:27:04Rock and roll

01:27:06In the U.S.A

01:27:08I said we rock and we roll

01:27:10Alright, ready?

01:27:11One, two

01:27:13Hey, shitheads, clean the fucking pool

01:27:16Sorry, sir

01:27:17We'll get back, we'll get back on that

01:27:21Maybe I'll learn to swim some other time

01:27:23Yeah, we'll do it

01:27:30Man, he wasn't lying

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