What She Learned About Falling in Love | Sandra Elia
"Sandra Elia takes us through her journey on the search for love.
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00:00 Going to the chapel and I'm gonna get married
00:09 Going to the chapel and I'm gonna get devastated
00:17 Gee, I really am uncertain
00:22 And we're gonna get divorced
00:26 Going to the chapel of love
00:32 I'm 20 years old at the chapel doors
00:35 Big white dress and a four foot train
00:37 And there is a man at the end of the aisle
00:40 Who I do not want to marry
00:43 How did I get here?
00:46 I grew up in a home where I was unsafe, unspecial, unloved
00:51 And so when that was reflected back to me
00:54 It felt like home, it felt like love
00:58 And when I was 16 and for the first time in my life
01:02 Someone looked in my eyes and said "I love you"
01:05 Well, you knew I was gonna marry him
01:08 I was starved for human connection
01:12 So I went ahead and married someone just like my father
01:15 And divorced him by the time I was 30
01:17 And then I was engaged to someone just like my mother
01:20 And I ended that when I was 40
01:22 So my work is done
01:25 Challenges do not keep us from our dreams
01:32 They prepare us for our dreams
01:36 And so I am ready
01:39 I'm ready to meet Mr. Right
01:43 Right?
01:45 And how do I attract my soulmate?
01:48 Well, that's a big question
01:50 I always take big questions into meditation
01:53 And I heard the answer
01:55 Lean back and receive
01:58 What does that even mean?
02:01 Lean back and receive?
02:04 You mean I'm not supposed to work for it?
02:06 I'm not supposed to prove my worthiness of love?
02:09 I'm supposed to let go of everything I ever thought I knew about love?
02:14 I am a beautiful being
02:18 Deserving of love
02:21 And so are you
02:23 For no other reason than because you are you
02:27 So the next time I get married
02:30 And there will be a next time
02:33 My vows will sound like this
02:36 Dear one, I love you so much
02:40 That I'm gonna put me first
02:43 I promise to be at peace with who I am
02:47 So I can be at peace with who you are
02:50 I am committed to my greatness
02:53 So that I can be comfortable with your greatness
02:56 I take full responsibility for how I feel about you
03:01 It's all on me
03:03 And the only thing I ask of you
03:06 Is that you do the same for me
03:08 Now I am open, willing, and ready for love
03:14 The question is, who else is ready?
03:18 And, who's next down the aisle?
03:21 [cheers]
03:24 Thank you
03:26 [cheers]
03:30 [music]
03:33 [music]